“Last night I saw, ‘MELANIA,’ for the second time. The audience loved it, and so do I. Check it out – A MUST SEE!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Friday, hours after enough professional film critics – who were not screened it in advance – had reviewed the piece of shit to give in an 8 percent aggregate rating at Rotten Tomatoes. The sole “positive” review making up that rounded figure is a meager 3/5 stars from some bloody wanker British Karen at the “London Evening Standard.”

A grand total of four out of 78 tickets have been sold for the 10:10 EST Friday showing of the rapist-directed “movie” at the Times Square Regal Cinemas, the closest multiplex to the Trump Tower.

Not even the fat fucking con artist Donald can spin his way out of this failure. Even ticket sales weren’t ever the point – it was forcing Jeff Bezos into submission – it’s still gonna sting Dirty Donald.

Trump then screamed at Republicans to sack up and support Kristi Noem, writing “The Radical Left Lunatics, Insurrectionists, Agitators, and Thugs, are going after Kristi Noem, the Secretary of Homeland Security, because she is a woman, and has done a really GREAT JOB!” and blah blah blah and “don’t let these Crooked Democrats, who are stealing Billions of Dollars from Minnesota, and other Cities and States from all over the Country, push you around. They are using this aggressive protest SCAM to obfuscate, camouflage, and hide their CRIMINAL ACTS of theft and insurrection.”

“They should all be in jail. I was elected on Strong Borders, and Law and Order, among many other things. Thank you to Secretary Kristi Noem. Remember, ELECTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES!!!”