Two Republicans advance in Texas House special election

NBC News projects two Republicans will take the top spots in the “jungle” primary for an open seat in the US House of Representative, with Susan Wright seeking to retain the seat her husband was elected to before dying of the coronavirus before taking office.

While Democrat Jana Lynne Sanchez was battling Republican state legislator Jake Ellzey for the second position, NBC News projects Ellzey’s lead is insurmountable for Sanchez, putting two Republicans in the top spots for the Texas 6th Congressional District.

Democrats had an uphill struggle to pick up the seat, given that Republicans have held the seat since 1983.

Miserable senior citizen watches too much TV, complains about it

Irish gas stations run dry amid protests over prices

Artemis II crew splashes down safely

Eric Swalwell needs to resign from Congress right fucking now

Orange Shitbag pledges to help Hungarians before Americans

BREAKING: Trump regime admits they lied

Raskin asks White House doc to conduct thorough mental eval

Fox News reports lib terrorist targeted pro-Trump patriot

Kamala Harris says she’s “thinking about” a 2028 run

Trump continues to whine about the consequences of his fuckup

Houston gentlemen’s club patron felled in dispute with rogues

Pete Buttigieg nearly causes MAGA CNBC host to stroke out

President promotes evil corporation run by eccentric supervillains

Consumer sentiment index sinks to lowest level ever

New York Times called out for its terrible polling numbers

Russian defense official gets 19 years for unsanctioned graft

MAGAflation skyrockets to 3.3 percent in March

Top Melania aide says Third Lady focused media on her Epstein ties because media isn’t focused on her performative “achievements”

Massie leads generic MAGA douche primary challenger: poll

Texas Lt Gov Dannie Goeb worried state House could flip to Dems

Fox Business reports bribery refusal investigation underway

Orange Karen complains about quality of Iranian oil transit service

Donald denies knowing what prompted Melania’s Epstein denial

You can find avant garde art in anything, really

BREAKING: New York City schools still closed for Spring break

When Marjorie Taylor Greene says you’re a mentally ill sociopath…

White House accepts $37 million in proudly non-American-made steel for ballroom to host majestic, blue-collar-excluding galas

This is why Karoline earns your big bucks

Netanyahu’s corruption trial resumes

California Supreme Court orders MAGA sheriff to halt ballot probe

Frau Ingraham could’ve just called the Times story fake news

“REMEMBER GREENLAND” now a heroic rallying cry for patriots

FDA recalls male enhancement chocolates

Soldier’s wife released as ICE melts under public heat once again

WATCH LIVE: Karoline Kringefest

Strait of Hormuz as open as the Kennedy Center

Fat toddler complains reports are wrong, doesn’t correct them

“Middle class white kids” most discriminated against in schools: JD

Regime declares Bondi doesn’t have to be deposed

Orange Mark got conned into war by two-bit hustler “Bibi”: NYT

Still sucks to be Florida MAGA Quebecois-American motelier

WATCH LIVE: Sad Pete

Dem flips Wisconsin Supreme Court seat

TACOpocalypse now

JP Morgan predicts $5/gallon gas this month

Regime pays Deutsche Bank $145 million for $92 million property

Florida woman accidentally rescues wanted murderer from waves

When RonAnon is the Congressional GOP’s moral center…

Vietnam elects communist party swamp creature to presidency

Former reality show host still knows how to hype big new episode