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Frau Ingraham just asking (the right) questions on $5,000 stimulus

You know something’s off when Mini Riefenstahl here is asking why convicted felon President Trump doesn’t just command Congress to return to DC and pass a $5,000 stimulus check now instead of conditioning it on Republicans maintaining their majorities. The alphabet soup fucking nonsensical response (to call it an “answer” would be an insult) about “Democrats” was predictable, of course.

But that Ingraham asks it and directly so rather than “I’m so excited to get my $5,000 check after we win the midterms, what kind of awesome toys and experiences do you think Americans should spend it on?” might be a leading indicator of how seriously even this defunct party is going to take it as a campaign pledge and it’ll be a miracle if it’s still part of the pitch a week from now.

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Orange Fuhrer decalres ratings victory over NFL opener

“The Republican Midterm Convention last night, in Dallas, was a major, sold out hit, far bigger, better, and more important than anyone thought possible. It was really something, streaming all over the place, and really big numbers, despite going up against the NFL. The overall numbers beat the NFL.”

“The Arena, which was really nice, beat its own attendance records. The place was packed! There were thousands of people outside who couldn’t get in. Screens were provided. I guess people LOVE TRUMP POLITICS! I’ll be there again tonight to close out the show. Exciting ‘Stuff!'” posted an increasingly insecure and delusional President Trump on Thursday morning.

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Inflatable slide deployed from Qatar Force One

Convicted felon President Trump and his retinue of minions are experiencing some difficulties as they prepare to travel to Dallas, with the fat bastard claiming to reporters that Air Force personnel are checking the slide out… “They just want to make sure everything works perfectly,” Trump said, assuring reporters it would take 15 minutes. Replacing a deployed slide takes minimum two hours.

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Egyptian Insta-selfie-luencer sentenced to hang for drug trafficking

Sarah Khalifa, a 32 year-old Egyptian former TV host, current plastic surgery entrepreneur, and the kind of person for whom the front-facing smartphone camera was invented, was among 12 sentenced to death in Cairo on Saturday following their August conviction in a massive yet non-specific narcotics trafficking case, TMZ reports. Public reporting only alludes to “synthetic” drugs for which Khalifa and her associates had imported 1,600 lbs of precursor ingredients with intent to manufacture. So it could be as bad as carfentanil or as mild as THC extract to make gummies and vape fluid, we have no idea and probably aren’t going to find out anytime soon.

The still-nominally-appealable sentence was, per standard operating procedure in all of the Egyptian justice system’s capital cases, handed down by the country’s Grand Mufti. And yes, that means a high-ranking Islamic cleric with a kind of fruity-sounding title decided that this woman should die when for all we know some oily jerkoff she met in a club could’ve smooth-talked her into allowing him to use her plastic surgery clinic as a front to place bulk orders for the ingredients.

Or maybe a life of privilege and comfort was getting boring so why not give crime a try. Stede Bonnet felt the same way. Interestingly enough Bonnet was also hanged for it (his best-frenemy Edward “Blackbeard” Teach went down more like Tony Montana just a week earlier) as Khalifa and her friends will be if the big moof’s sentence is upheld. It does not appear that she’s being singled out given the other 11 headed for the noose – last year 492 Egyptian convicts were sentenced and 23 were executed – so it may be fair to say that if she indeed knew what she was doing as a witting participant – then she should have known the risks too. Especially with that large of an operation.

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“My only hope is that no one watches it”

Under the very Politico Playbook-esque headline of “‘The vibes are very bad’ in Texas” the mega-buzzmaxxed, always-plugged-in daily email newsletter powered by Anthropic – get 0 percent off your Claude Pro subscription when you use promo code “playbookzero” – reports the signals from the noise are achieving escape velocity into the conversation surrounding the “Trump-a-Palooza” kicking off in Dallas on Wednesday night amid a slump in the attention and, uh, real economies.

“My only hope is that no one watches it since it’s competing versus NFL opening games,” a “person close to the White House” told Playbook, adding “Hopefully nobody notices [convicted felon President Trump’s] embarrassing show,” before self-soothing with “I don’t think it will matter. No one knows about it, no enthusiasm, and it’s during football. Only DC people care.” The “vibes” person quoted in the headline, a “Republican lobbyist” added “Dems are salivating. Our people are debating Israel. Or melting down about this or that. No one is motivated to vote. Only the DSA rise is what’s keeping us in the game,” referring of course to what’s expected to be a “socialism”-themed two-night program in Dallas. Only the most liver-scarred should make a drinking game out of it.

“If you’re just a generic white Republican male, like Mike Collins or Mike Whatley… you’re struggling this cycle due to the national environment and the drag that the president’s popularity has on the ticket,” a “senior GOP operative working on midterm races” told Playbook, adding that convention has put some GOP candidates in a “tight spot,” but the party “might as well try something instead of just having Trump on Twitter all day. It’s probably a net wash at the end of the day.”

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Fox News forgets to retcon the DEI angle into crash investigation

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The hero of 9/11 now kind of admits he wasn’t there that day

“The Failing New York Magazine wrote a story that I wasn’t down at the World Trade Center after the Tragedy of September 11th, because nobody saw me there. Well, I don’t think I would be the first thing on anyone’s mind but, I was there, obviously not on the same day as the collapse, but shortly thereafter, with a large group of Construction Workers. I discussed it today during my Remarks on the Ellipse, in Washington, DC, for Tunnel to Towers. Everything I said was exactly accurate and, to prove the point, I am attaching clips of me there with numerous of my people, including my then Head of Security, Matthew Calamari, who has confirmed that very sad trip to Lower Manhattan, many times, to many different Journalists, but it’s a story that just won’t die. The Fake News doesn’t want to listen, even when they know their story is false. That’s why their approval ratings are at an All Time LOW, but mine are VERY HIGH!” caterwauled the valor thief on Tuesday.

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White House not actually defending Trump’s insane 9/11 lie

Asked to comment by CNN’s Daniel Dale, all the White House had to say about the Orange God Emperor’s batshit lies about 9/11 was that “President Trump spent the morning paying tribute to the heroic first responders who laid down their lives in service to others in the September 11th attacks and honoring their incredible families. The President was relaying his experience of a city reeling immediately after and in the days and weeks after the horrific attacks – and the fact that the failing legacy media is using this to try to attack him is a disgrace and yet another reason why Americans’ trust in the media is at an all-time low.” So yeah it must be pretty bad if they consider it an “attack.”

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Stolen 9/11 Valor story contributes to legend of Donald Trump

A story of narrowly escaping certain death with the help of two New York City firefighters as the World Trade Center collapsed into a an avalanche of flaming steel is now part of the legend of President Donald J Trump, who apparently wants you to vote Republican in the midterms out of respect for the bravery he displayed on that horrific day nearly a quarter century ago.

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Netanyahu kept pre-October 7th intel from top minions: New book

In a preview of an upcoming book titled “Hostages: 843 Days of Abandonment,” Haaretz reports that in the leadup to the October 7, 2023 attack by Hamas that left hundreds of Israelis dead and led to the deaths of tens of thousands of innocent people in Gaza, dictator Benjamin Netanyahu received multiple warnings from different sources including UAE President Sheikh Mohamed bin Zayed and CIA Director William J Burns that Hamas was planning a major assault, warnings that Netanyahu did not then share with his military leaders. The source was none other than Hamas’s leader himself.

“Convey a message that I am preparing the mother of all surprises. A terrifying operation. Something extraordinary. Please convey to the Israelis what I am saying word for word,” the now-dead Hamas chieftain Yahyah Sinwar told an advisor close to Bin Zayed during a meeting in September 2023.

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“So-called ‘Senator’ Jerry Moron…”

“This afternoon, I reached out to the Trump administration to make certain the President is aware of the significant contributions of Bombardier to Kansas and the importance of its presence in Wichita to many Kansas workers at Bombardier and in the Bombardier supply chain. I will continue working to see that Bombardier’s manufacturing operations not only remain in Kansas but continue to grow and create American jobs. Kansas is home to a hardworking, skilled workforce, and I will continue welcoming leaders in aircraft and defense manufacturing to do business here in the Air Capital of the World,” continued the hapless cuck in the rest of the low-wattage tweet after the cutoff.

No, Trump did not call him Jerry Moron yet. He did however post “Oil prices will drop precipitously, like everything else is dropping (but more!), when we WIN the war with Iran. Three Dollars a gallon, but ultimately, below Two Dollars a gallon. It will all happen quickly, and Iran will never have a Nuclear Weapon. MAGA!” Tell me again about the rabbits and the vegetable patch, George.

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President commands cronies to stop buying Canadian private jets

“NO MORE SELLING BOMBARDIER IN THE UNITED STATES! Their products aren’t good enough! Over 50 percent of their revenue comes from the United States – They live off American Buyers, American Companies, American Airports, and American Service – All while Canada blocks our GREAT American Banks, and Companies, throughout the USA. They even blocked Gulfstream Aerospace from doing business in Canada – Completely unjust and unfair! That Era is OVER! If they want our Market, they must build here, and stop treating America like a ‘piggybank.’ BUY AMERICAN. FLY ON AMERICAN AIRLINERS. ENJOY AMERICAN LIQUOR AND BEVERAGES. SAIL ON LAKE AMERICA. AMERICA FIRST!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Monday, once again just making it increasingly fairer to question whether he’s going to make it another two years.

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Surprise! Ohio MAGA terrorist brother to disgraced state GOP operative and lobbyist with history of Epstein-ish behavior

Patrick Havas, the MAGA terrorist arrested Sunday after attempting while armed to force his way Dem Ohio gubernatorial candidate Amy Acton, is the brother of Andrew Havas, a Vivek Ramaswamy campaign donor and GOP operative who resigned from incumbent Senator Jon Husted’s campaign earlier this summer after a 2009 incident with a 15 year-old girl resurfaced, TiffinOhio.net reports.

Patrick, 38, “knocked multiple fairgoers over while trying to get towards Dr Acton, and was found to be in possession of a taser and two pistols,” per a statement from the Ohio State Patrol. He was booked into the Mahoning County jail on two counts of assault and one count of disorderly conduct.

Andrew Havas, meanwhile, had resigned from his post as Franklin County Husted campaign chair after Acton’s campaign had questioned why her opponent, Ramaswamy, had accepted $10,102.54 in contributions from a guy who would have been a convicted sex offender had prosecutors not offered him a plea deal over the 2009 incident with a 15 year-old girl. Andrew, 22 at the time, took the deal allowing him to cop to misdemeanor assault and take 90 days in jail rather than felony sexual misconduct with a minor. “Ohioans deserve leaders who exercise good judgment and who put integrity first,” Acton wrote in July, rubbing it in for Da Vek as he struggles to fend off Acton.

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Tennessee Trump store’s final day saw 12 customers stop by

An employee of the now-shuttered Trump Store of Manchester, Tennessee tells the Wall Street Journal that the MAGA merch retailer’s final 72 hours saw about 12 customers each day. “Steep discounts to clear inventory didn’t draw a flood of customers,” the Journal writes of the demise.

Syracuse, New York sales rep Lisa Hall, who supplies these Trump stores with all their Chinese-made bullshit, says sales cratered after the Orange God Emperor attacked Iran. “I used to be hearing from them, my phone would be exploding. Now, that’s not happening,” said Hall of her customers.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

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