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“Today, Oscar Mayer announces the ‘Wienie 500’ – a first-of-its-kind spectacle where the fleet of Wienermobiles will haul buns to the legendary Indianapolis Motor Speedway for a race unlike any other. Ahead of this year’s Indianapolis 500, which draws more than 330,000 fans who consume nearly 30,000 hot dogs, Oscar Mayer’s beloved Hotdoggers will make their racing debut on the very same track as the pros. The race will be streamed live on Friday, May 23 at 2pm ET on the FOX Sports app and across @INDYCARonFOX social accounts, and fans can catch highlights from the race during Sunday’s Indy 500 pre-race show on FOX,” says a press release from Oscar Mayer.

“The Wienie 500 will also mark the first ‘meat-up’ of all six Wienermobiles in over a decade and the first competitive race for the fleet, each sporting an all-new look. Each Wienermobile will represent a different regional dog, including the Chi Dog (Midwest), New York Dog (East), Slaw Dog (Southeast), Sonoran Dog (Southwest) Chili Dog (South) and Seattle Dog (Northwest). From custom Hotdogger racing suits, to a trophy presentation in the ‘Wiener’s Circle’, complete with a condiment spray and hot dog for the wiener’s enjoyment, every moment of the race is designed to spark smiles, serving up a delightful racing event only Oscar Mayer can,” the press release continued, turgid with anticipation over the very thought of six large phallic objects thundering down the raceway in front of fans sure to be already tantalized by the sweaty, piston-pumping main event’s overtones of dominance over submissive rivals, thunderously loud purring, and the occasional rear-ending.

Also, who the hell decided to call it the “Wiener’s Circle” and who kneels in the middle of it? Lol.

A flamboyant, makeup-wearing New York native who had some liberal sensibilities until he horseshoed into hardcore MAGAism now hates Jews again and wants them to stop bombing Gaza immediately, going so far as to protest the campaign waged by the Israeli state, Axios reports.

The Jew-hater is of course convicted felon President Trump and if what Axios printed about him being “frustrated by the ongoing war in Gaza and upset by images of suffering of Palestinian children, and has told his aides to tell Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu he wants him to wrap it up” is correct then by Trump’s own standards he hates Jews and is basically a Nazi.

He might as well start wearing a kiffeyeh and declare himself an honorary Palestinian. Hell, he should be deported to Gaza, really, for betraying Israel, the Jews, and America. He’s no better than the terrorist Jew-haters who seized control of college campuses to protest the war.

This fucking idiot literally said habeas corpus is “a constitutional right that the president has to be able to remove people from this country,” to which New Hampshire Senator Maggie Hassan said, very understatedly, “That’s incorrect,” before educating dog murderer Kristi Noem on what the Latin phrase actually means. Later, when asked by Hassan “If the president tries to suspend habeas corpus and a federal court reverses the president’s order, will you comply with the court order and uphold habeas corpus, or will you follow the president’s directive?” Noem said “We are following all federal court orders,” Hassan then replied “That is not true for anybody who reads the news.” The fucking moron then tried for a “mic drop” with “I wouldn’t rely on the news for your facts.”

Noem then had no answer when Richard Blumenthal said “Let me go to some of the expenditures that your department is making. $200 million for an ad campaign fawning over President Trump’s supposed accomplishments… none of these expenditures are in your present budget… you’re just spending recklessly and it would seem wastefully without authorization. That’s against the law.”

From a memo sent to soldiers of the Army’s 43rd Adjutant Battalion based at Fort Leonard Wood in Missouri, linked by the Army Times: “The usage of profanity, vulgar language, rude gestures or remarks are strictly prohibited while operating in official capacities during duty hours. Such language does not align with the Army’s core values and undermines the integrity of our Soldiers and our formations therefore will not be tolerated in the 43rd Reception Battalion. Restrictions: Vulgar or disparaging language will not be utilized during meetings, briefings, training exercises, while addressing superiors, peers, or trainees. Vulgar or offensive language will not be displayed on any piece of clothing or personal effects at any time within the Battalion footprint.”

That’s kind of woke, isn’t it? Taking the fun out of being in the military would qualify, right? Someone pass this along to Secretary Petey Pee Pants whenever he’s done sleeping off his breakfast gin.

Convicted felon President Trump on Tuesday warned House Republicans “Don’t fuck around with Medicaid,” Punchbowl’s Jake Sherman reports from a source in the closed-door meeting. The words come even as he hopes for them to deliver him a bill that will, in fact, fuck around with Medicaid by imposing onerous paperwork requirements on recipients, a great deal of whom already do work, and simply create attrition through red tape with mail that they’ll probably miss – if it’s even sent.

The fat bastard also urged Blue State Republicans to take the $40,000 SALT cap offered by Mike Johnson on Monday night, an offer that wasn’t received very well by Mike Lawler and pals. Trump then singled out Lawler, saying “I know your district better than you do, if you lose because of salt you were going to lose anyway.” Note that this is less than two weeks after Trump endorsed him.

“TRUMP is now complaining about the debt limit deal that Kevin McCarthy cut with Joe Biden. This is a greatest hit for Trump,” Sherman later tweeted. Poor Kev, a failure even in political death, lol.

Lurching into the Capitol to cajole House republicans to shut the fuck up and vote yes on his “Big Beautiful Bill,” convicted felon President Trump on Tuesday sounded kind of different on the matter of SALT deductions than he did on the campaign trail last year. On September 17th, 2024 the fat bastard posted “WHAT THE HELL DO YOU HAVE TO LOSE? VOTE FOR TRUMP! I will turn it around, get SALT back, lower your Taxes, and so much more” in the middle of hyping his stupid rally at Long Island’s Nassau Coliseum that week. Now, after losing his original home state, he’s wary of anything that benefits residents of “very blue states that I don’t really believe… if we had honest elections, I think I would’ve won California, I would’ve won New York. I even think I would’ve won Illinois.”

Japan’s top trade negotiator on Tuesday told reporters that there will be no changes to Tokyo’s stance of total repeal of convicted felon President Trump’s stupid tariffs on their exports, Reuters reports on a tough pickle for the credited but not actual author of “The Art of the Deal.”

“The slew of US tariffs including reciprocal tariffs as well as those on automobiles, car parts, steel and aluminium, are regrettable. There’s no change to our stance of seeking a review, which is to say an elimination, of them,” said Ryosei Akazawa at a press conference. Japan’s Kyodo news agency reported on Tuesday that Akazawa will travel to Washington this week to attend the third round of talks potentially starting on Friday and is willing to offer to buy US corn exports.

Senate Dems Liz Warren, Ron Wyden, and Bernie Sanders on Tuesday shared with the Wall Street Journal a letter they sent to Paramount Global Chair Shari Redstone warning her that she and her company are edging close to violating bribery laws by entertaining settling convicted felon President Trump’s batshit stupid lawsuit against the media giant for applying standard edits to former Vice President Kamala Harris’s 60 Minutes interview – the one Trump pussied out of – with the Dems writing it’s likely illegal to do so “in exchange for approval of its merger with Skydance Media.”

“Redstone hasn’t seen the letter, which was sent Tuesday night, a spokeswoman said” the Journal writes in a temporal fuckup since it’s still Tuesday morning. The spokeswoman then claimed Redstone “has recused herself from the settlement talks,” and lol at that bullshit.

CNN’s Brian Stelter reports that Redstone is full MAGA, hardcore pro-Netanyahu, and constantly harasses journalists over what she says is “unfair” coverage of the ongoing genocide in Gaza as part of a longer segment about the abrupt Monday departure of CBS News President Wendy McMahon.

Scott Adams was the only one man enough to publicly admit he was wrong about the vaccine. Big respect for doing it. https://t.co/uQU0NpowO1

— Catturd ™ (@catturd2) May 19, 2025

Was wondering when the fanboys would start dredging up the pic of Joe Biden pulling up his sleeve and getting the COVID shot as a means of explaining his cancer. Guess they get to sidestep that now that Scott Adams took the lead and is making his nigh-deathbed “redemption,” lol.

“Congressman Jared Golden of Lewiston today announced his campaign for re-election to Maine’s 2nd Congressional District. ‘While I have considered many options for how best to continue serving the people of Maine, I have decided to run for re-election because the surest way to restore balance in Washington is for Democrats to win back the House of Representatives,’ Golden said. ‘While the election is still 18 months away and I remain focused on my responsibilities to my constituents and my family, I also know the path to the majority runs through Maine. And I am going to do what it takes to make sure no one like Paul LePage blusters his way into Congress.'”

“‘The stakes are clear: While the GOP in Congress is working overtime to take away Mainers health care and further rig the tax code for the rich, Jared is standing up for our health care, workers’ rights, reproductive freedom and Maine’s heritage industries,’ Golden’s campaign manager. ‘He’s a proven winner and the right choice to beat a candidate like Paul LePage and restore checks and balances in Congress,'” says a statement from Golden’s campaign via WABI.

House Dem leadership had been worried Golden would launch a bid against Concern Lady Susan Collins. It’s not clear how well he would’ve done, maybe it’d be a rough primary but if he survived he might’ve been a solid favorite in a general against Collins. Less uncertain is how the 2nd District would’ve gone with fat racist slob former Governor Paul LePage against a new Dem nominee – who in 2018, as he left office basically told Maine voters to go fuck themselves and moved to Florida – as LePage probably would’ve won pretty easily, despite the stink of reverse carpet-bagging.

The South African government is working on a cave to its least-favorite son by bending its laws mandating local Black ownership for tech infrastructure and opening its market to Starlink in what Bloomberg reports is President Cyril Ramaphosa’s administration “aiming to ease tensions with both the billionaire and US President Donald Trump” ahead of the leader’s Wednesday visit to the Orange Allah’s White House. Note these “tensions” stem solely from white nationalist masturbatory agitprop.

The exit ramp for Ramaphosa from the country’s Black Economic Empowerment laws requiring a minimum of 30 percent Black ownership for concerns operating in the country isn’t unprecedented, as in 2019 Toyota, Ford, and BMW were allowed carveouts in exchange for investments in empowerment programs. Bloomberg writes the “so-called Equity Equivalent option would instead involve investments in infrastructure or training, or providing Starlink kits to rural areas in order to help improve Internet access,” which amounts to an actual “DEI” program. Not like when Republicans and their fanboys use “DEI” when they want to say the n-word, but the true definition of the term.

So yeah, let’s see how this goes. That the article upfront says this is about supplicating to Trump and Ketamine Brain before it says anything about what Ramaphosa’s government gets to save face and about how few homes in rural South Africa have reliable internet access probably says a lot about what to expect from this “deal.” It is however a pretty safe bet that Musk will be hiring few if any of those would-be “refugee” white trash slob Afrikaners to work for him on the ground in his home country and will probably instead send Indian engineers to do the legwork there.

Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth on Monday pointed to the “success” of the bombing campaign against Houthi positions in Yemen as a reason why it’s not a big deal that now-former National Security Advisor Mike Waltz fucked up and added the editor-in-chief of the Atlantic to the Trump Regime’s Signal chat before the strikes began. This of course is a subjective assessment dependent on one’s definition of “success.” Some might look at $1 billion in weaponry burned, two $67 million F/A-18 Super Hornets now at the bottom of the Red Sea because they fell off their aircraft carrier, several more nearly getting shot down by anti-aircraft fire, seven Reaper drones worth $30 million each actually getting shot down, and convicted felon President Trump looking for an “offramp” to declare victory before one or more US service members got killed and disagree with Hegseth’s take.

Oh and missiles are still being fired from Houthi country at Israel after said victory declaration. Can’t forget that, since it was pretty much the whole reason for bombing them in the first place. 👊🇺🇸🔥

Happy Biden Book Day to all who celebrate and few in the mainstream media seem to be celebrating harder than Politico Playbook, whose circlejerk seems to be so fast and fervid they’re in danger of creating a gravitational singularity with scorching hot takes like “The buzz: It’s hard to think of a book which has shifted the political dial to this extent in recent years – perhaps nothing since Michael Wolff’s ‘Fire and Fury,’ the gossipy portrait of Donald Trump’s first year in power that had DC bookshops staying open past midnight, Harry Potter-style, when it came out in 2018,” and “This book makes it certain voters will be having these conversations in 2028, and perhaps beyond.”

“Those who were around Biden have nowhere to hide. Only a few weeks ago, your author recalls prominent Dems pushing back hard in private conversations about the phrase ‘cover-up’ on the book’s cover. Now? Pure evasion,” the lead section on the “EXPLOSIVE” new book continues and holy shit these people are diseased and beyond hell-bent on killing whatever space exists among Dems for introspection and lesson-learning about being more honest with themselves and voters that this book may present, just eagerly feeding its news cycle into the same old horserace fap-off.

You can almost feel that thirst yourself as Playbook hypes couchfucker JD Vance’s transparently cunty and pernicious “we need to start a conversation” comments from Monday, writing “Listening to Vance, you could already imagine another debate stage – perhaps even another CNN debate stage – in 2028, with the VP accusing his Democratic opponent of colluding in a colossal lie, covering up the infirmity of the most-powerful person on the planet and then endorsing Biden to run again. It will be a powerful message – and that Democratic opponent is going to need far better answers than anything we’ve heard so far. Will anyone have the courage to take this head-on?”

In yet another example of how the Trump Regime was full of shit about pretty much everything, the Daily Beast points out that the newly MAGAfied Kennedy Center’s 2025-2026 performance schedule features shows Chicago, Moulin Rouge!, Monty Python’s Spamalot, and Mrs Doubtfire all of which include the supposedly civilizational threat of drag performances, the last on the list’s entire plot centers on a man dressing up as a woman to spend time with his kids after a divorce.

The revelation of the schedule comes just over two and half months after convicted felon President Trump posted “At my direction, we are going to make the Kennedy Center in Washington DC, GREAT AGAIN. I have decided to immediately terminate multiple individuals from the Board of Trustees, including the Chairman, who do not share our Vision for a Golden Age in Arts and Culture. We will soon announce a new Board, with an amazing Chairman, DONALD J TRUMP! Just last year, the Kennedy Center featured Drag Shows specifically targeting our youth – THIS WILL STOP.”

Nothing so far.

— Pants On Fire with George Santos (@MrSantosNY) May 19, 2025

Was tempted to put “EXCLUSIVE” in the headline, but thought for a minute and realized how weak and lame it often is, especially when Mediaite, Raw Story, and Fox News use it to plant their flag on a story. Coming from them it kind of correctly implies that everything else they print is just shit recycled from other outlets. Truly original reporting should reveal itself in the text: “Sources tell Mediaite,” “Emails obtained by Raw Story,” “In an interview with Fox News,” and so on. It just stinks of insecurity and neediness… Except when NBC does it. Oddly enough their “EXCLUSIVE” label actually tends to be a marque of exceptional quality for that particular piece of reporting. Maybe the difference in the worth of said “exclusives” is in the overall value of the outlet itself…

Anyway, George Santos on Monday told National Zero there’s still no word of a pardon from the Trump White House. It came hours after CBS’s Scott MacFarlane reported that Georgie’s been assigned a federal Bureau of Prisons inmate number 58474-510 ahead of his turn-in deadline of July 25th, more than two months away and plenty of time for Georgie to lobby unsuccessfully until Trump commutes his sentence about two hours after the notoriously dishonest former congressman gets de-loused and fitted for a bright orange jumpsuit at a dreary federal penal institution.

Writing that “the company is determined to avoid any scenario in which it appears to attribute price increases to US tariffs on goods from China, where most Apple devices are assembled,” the Wall Street Journal reports that the big piece of fruit is wary of incurring the wrath of convicted felon President Trump as he threatens other companies for simply daring to inform customers that it isn’t their fault that costs on the shit they want to buy – namely this fall’s iPhone lineup – is going up.

Instead they’re going to try to sell it as being due to new features being added and yeah this is how fucked up and warped everything is right now. In 2022 and 2023 it was “Sorry, inflation, lolz” when, for example, the fucking cost of Target store brand ice cream went up like 80 percent while the actual CPI from early 2021 to early 2024 rose less than 20 percent. Now that the fat bastard coasted back into office falsely promising to undo such increases Apple is trying to do the opposite, blaming itself instead of extrinsic and entirely controllable on the part of the president factors for price hikes.

Seriously. The Journal actually wrote this: “Company executives are wary of blaming increases on tariffs. When a news report in April said Amazon might show the impact of tariffs to its shoppers, the White House called it a hostile act and Amazon quickly said the idea ‘was never approved and is not going to happen.’ These circumstances have led Apple to look at what supply-chain insiders described as the least-bad choice: raising prices on the new iPhones to preserve profit and finding reasons other than tariffs to explain the move. It couldn’t be determined what new features Apple may offer to help justify price increases.” But let’s hear more about Joe Biden’s brain and prostate.

A Michigan woman who in 2007 responded to her husband’s admission of an affair by lighting him on fire – and then, after he had burst from their house writhing in flames, got behind the wheel of their van, promptly plowed into him while he was still on his feet, and then ran him over – was re-sentenced to life in prison Monday following a re-do of her 2010 trial that had also ended in a murder conviction and life sentence, WZZM13 reports on what had to feel kind of satisfying at the time.

If we’re being totally honest here. Plus, Linda Stermer’s a grandmotherly-looking 60 year-old white lady sitting in the joint with some no doubt hardened freaking criminals. None of them had a judge sit there and say “You lit your husband on fire and burned him alive. When he made it out of the house and you had a chance to reconsider your actions, you instead doubled down and ran him over with your car,” when they got sentenced for their crimes, certainly at least some of them for killing their husbands and boyfriends through more conventional means like knives and guns.

Yeah the article tries to make you feel bad by presenting the victim impact statements like from Todd Stermer’s sister saying how he was a nice guy and all that, but it does not appear that the affair part’s in dispute. He simply fucked around and found out in the most comically over-the-top Itchy-and-Scratchy cartoon level way. Linda could’ve taken the clothes he was not wearing at the time and set those on fire instead, but now she’s in it for life and rightfully so. Probably with a lot of respect and deference from other inmates for sticking the landing on a badass way to end up there.

Said a nearly-dead-looking convicted felon President Trump to his supplicants at a Kennedy Center circlejerk on Monday evening: “We are taking in 25 percent on cars, steel, aluminum. 25 percent on other things. And that will be going up to 50, 75, maybe 100 in some cases. We have to get our pharmaceutical industry back.” Let’s see how stock futures are doing in a few hours.

“I take my obligations as US Attorney seriously. I understand the responsibility that comes with my position, and I will work diligently to uphold the law and deliver justice to the people of New Jersey.”

“After extensive consideration, we have agreed to dismiss Mayor Baraka’s misdemeanor charge of trespass for the sake of moving forward. In the spirit of public interest, I have invited the mayor to tour Delaney Hall. The government has nothing to hide at this facility, and I will personally accompany the mayor so he can see that firsthand. The citizens of New Jersey deserve unified leadership so we can get to work to keep our state safe. The dismissal against the mayor is not the end of this matter. Congressional oversight is an important constitutional function and one that I fully support. However, that is not at issue in this case. Representative LaMonica McIver assaulted, impeded, and interfered with law enforcement in violation of Title 18, USC, Section 111(a)(1).”

“That conduct cannot be overlooked by the chief federal law enforcement official in the State of New Jersey, and it is my Constitutional obligation to ensure that our federal law enforcement is protected when executing their duties. I have persistently made efforts to address these issues without bringing criminal charges and have given Representative McIver every opportunity to come to a resolution, but she has unfortunately declined. No one is above the law politicians or otherwise.”

Contradicting convicted felon President Trump’s claims that Qatar Force One was offered by the tiny Middle Eastern monarchy as a gift to the United States, CNN reports that it was his regime that first approached the Qataris to at first ask them about buying or leasing the jet. For years the fat bastard was obsessed with replacing or upgrading Air Force One and resumed doing so upon returning to office in January, pretty much immediately ordering the Pentagon to hassle Boeing over the delays holding up a new version that was supposed to be delivered who the hell knows how long ago.

Boeing reps mentioned other clients that newer planes could possibly be leased from. “And Qatar was one of the clients,” a source told CNN, adding the Pentagon approached and “offered to buy the plane” and the Qataris indicated they were willing to sell it. How that became a “gift” to Trump and not the United States is still not totally clear, but yeah, it’s some sort of bribe.