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Fresh off shitposting nonsense like “BIG LEAD IN THE JUST RELEASED RASMUSSEN POLL, ONE OF THE FEW THAT GOT IT RIGHT!” convicted felon former President Trump will take the stage in Michigan to be interviewed by the Ozempic version of former press secretary, now Arkansas Gov Sarah Huckabee Sanders, supposedly taking some actual questions from the crowd at this “town hall” event.

We’ve seen MAGAmerica go through some rough patches before but the current one is starting to feel considerably different. Every time their Orange Allah was investigated, impeached, sued, or indicted many of his fans actually secretly and often not-so-secretly enjoyed it, like the righteous validation of him being a threat to the system was a rush, the defiance of “establishment” norms and laws in pursuit of maintaining and/or restoring his power was focusing and electrifying. Same when he got shot in the ear too. Even losing in 2020 was a galvanizing moment in a way it gave them a unifying cause to fuel their movement and torment the Biden Administration they saw as illegitimate.

As much as we mocked the old “YOU LIBS JUST REELECTED TRUMP” over the past five or six years it’s never actually truly been a hollow threat. Ron DeSantis can tell you that, before his campaign was even over he literally fucking admitted that if there’s anything he could’ve changed about his failed presidential campaign it would have been that he wished Trump wouldn’t have gotten indicted in March 2023. Put aside the absurdity of Tiny D saying he would have changed something out of his control and that he could have simply backed out since Trump was first charged was two months before DeSantis had officially launched his 2024 primary campaign, Ron ain’t wrong: GOP 2024 primary polls had been pretty tight between them up until that point but Trump pulled away after he was indicted. Last year a Republican primary voter told a focus group “I would have preferred DeSantis. But I have to support Trump because we have to gain back our country. I only switched over to support Trump because indicting him is an outrage and threatens democracy.”

It simply doesn’t matter whether you think that’s demented beyond parody. It’s the reality we live with, that people actually say and believe that kind of horseshit. There’s no point in lamenting the fact that, where anti-MAGAs see Trump as Jabba the Hutt, an obese, foul-smelling orange slug who enslaves women, surrounds himself with all sorts of bizarre freaks and abject sycophants, his fans prefer to see him as Han Solo, a charming outlaw always one step ahead of the established order.

Guess the conspiracy theorists are rights AGAIN!!!

There ARE reports of house cats being taken by Haitians. pic.twitter.com/2ToZyNSmNL

— Gunther Eagleman™ (@GuntherEagleman) September 17, 2024

An 8 year-old Ohio girl was found safe and unhurt Saturday, two hours after a neighbor saw her parents’ 2020 Nissan Rogue being stolen out of the driveway with the girl inside, NBC News reports.

The girl was in the driver’s seat. She snuck out of the house at 7 AM, stole the car, and drove it to a Target location 11 miles away. Cops found her sitting inside, drinking a Frappucino from the Starbucks counter. The only thing that was hurt was a mailbox the girl hit on the way.

A Manhattan federal magistrate judge on Tuesday denied bail to Sean “Puff Daddy” Combs, ordering him held until trial at (what we assume) is the same Manhattan lockup in which fellow notorious sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein either killed himself or had some help back in 2019, the AP reports.

Say no more 🌴🥥 pic.twitter.com/HIttu6NMh0

— Nicholas J. Fuentes (@NickJFuentes) September 17, 2024

Wyoming Senator Cynthia Lummis, an advocate for crypto, told the Huffington Post’s Igor Bobic that the structure of convicted felon former President Trump’s new crypto venture makes her “a little uncomfortable,” adding that “if I were a Trump advisor, I’d say, Mr President-Elect, put it in a blind trust.” Typical MAGA asshole calling him “Mr President-Elect” already, and also meekly saying if she would advise him to avoid conflicts of interest, not that she’s actually going to vote to put in place any kind of safeguards forget about ever actually holding him accountable.

“Russia and Iran have both undertaken cyber influence operations headed into the 2024 presidential election. In our last report, published on August 8, we detailed how Iranian cyber-enabled influence operations sought to undermine the Republican campaign through targeted hack-and-leak operations, covert social media personas, and imposter US news sites. In the past two months, Microsoft has observed a notable shift in Russian influence operations tactics reflecting the changing US political environment. Specifically, we have observed Russia pivot towards targeting the Harris-Walz campaign, with actors disseminating fabricated videos designed to sow discord and spread disinformation about the new Democratic nominee Vice President Harris.”

“Initially, Russian influence operations struggled to evolve their efforts following President Biden’s departure from the 2024 US presidential race. However, in late August and September, we observed two Russian actors MTAC tracks closely, previously reported as Storm-1516 and Storm-1679, using videos designed to discredit Harris and stoke controversy around her campaign.”

“Specifically: Storm-1516, identified by news reports as a Kremlin-aligned troll farm, produced and disseminated two inauthentic videos, each generating millions of views. One video depicted an attack by alleged Harris supporters on a supposed Trump rally attendee, while another used an on-screen actor to fabricate false claims about Harris’s involvement in a hit-and-run accident. This second video was laundered through a website masquerading as a local San Francisco media outlet which was only created days beforehand, ” says a Microsoft Threat Analysis Center blog post.

Actually legitimately kind of surprising that the “hit and run” video turned out to be a Russian disinfo operation. Even though our first instinct was correct, in retrospect it was so freaking amateurish that it is a tad shocking that Ivan was so terrible at it. Maybe we’ve been overestimating the Russians?

Vice President Kamala Harris will sit for an interview with a National Association of Black Journalists panel on Wednesday and hopefully it’ll go better than Trump’s time with them.

Convicted felon former President Trump on Tuesday hyped his upcoming Wednesday MAGA rally on Long Island, posting “Nassau Coliseum, on Long Island, will be a really big deal tomorrow. It will be PACKED with Patriots! We have a real chance of winning, for the first time in many decades, New York. Hundreds of thousands of Migrants, Crime at record levels, Terrorists pouring in, Inflation eating your hearts out – WHAT THE HELL DO YOU HAVE TO LOSE? VOTE FOR TRUMP! I will turn it around, get SALT back, lower your Taxes, and so much more. I’ll work with the Democrat Governor and Mayor, and make sure the funding is there to bring New York State back to levels it hasn’t seen for 50 years. People are fleeing, maybe we’ll get them to ‘flee back!’ See you at Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum on Wednesday at 7 PM EST!” and we still seriously have no idea what the hell this fucking idiot thinks he’s doing campaigning there instead of in Michigan or Arizona.

Love the “get SALT back” part, when he was the one who signed the bill to remove it in 2017.

The fat bastard also posted “Your Automobile Insurance is up 73 percent – VOTE FOR TRUMP, I’LL CUT THAT NUMBER IN HALF!” No “concept of a plan” to make that happen was mentioned.

In an opinion piece piece titled “Negotiate with Moscow to end the Ukraine war and prevent nuclear devastation” The Hill’s “opinion contributors” Robert F Kennedy Jr and Donald Trump Jr warn that the news “that the Biden administration is considering allowing Ukraine to use NATO-provided long-range precision weapons against targets deep inside Russia. Such a decision would put the world at greater risk of nuclear conflagration than at any time since the Cuban missile crisis.”

Further down in the piece the two scions of American political families expl- Holy fuck the Hill actually printed Russian propaganda with those two malformations putting their names on it. This is EXACTLY the kind of reason why they pulled the plug on the comments there. Jesus Christ.

It’s National Voter Registration Day.  We are voting for Harris-Walz. The choice is clear. Check your voting status here: https://t.co/ZPKcYDR7aF pic.twitter.com/PiFfQpkARW

— billie eilish (@billieeilish) September 17, 2024

Southern District of New York US Attorney Damian Williams on Tuesday was sort of emphatic when he told reporters that Sean “Puff Daddy” Combs won’t be allowed to commit suicide or be murdered and have it staged to look like a suicide by parties unknown during his stay in the Manhattan federal lockup – if Combs even is held for pretrial detention, which isn’t certain yet.

“I do not draw any sort of connection between Jeffrey Epstein’s suicide and what may or may not happen to any other defendant while they are detained pretrial,” said Williams as he held a press conference to discuss the sex trafficking and racketeering charges against the music mogul.

Folks within the conservative legal community are telling the Washington Examiner that the fact that so many of convicted felon former President Trump’s 2020 campaign lawyers ended up getting disbarred and/or prosecuted for their role in the failed attempt to overturn his humiliating loss to now-President Joe Biden is having something of a chilling effect on his 2024 campaign’s ability to recruit legal talent to work for him in the event they need to try to overturn a humiliating loss to Vice President Kamala Harris as most lawyers do not want to risk disbarment and/or prosecution.

“All of those prosecutions, all those disbarments, are a complete abuse of the law, the legal system, and an abuse of the professional licensing system for lawyers,” Hans von Spakovsky, an attorney and former member of the Federal Election Commission, told the Examiner. Von Spankoffsky added that “There’s a lot of lawyers, very good lawyers, who will be very reluctant to represent the president no matter how valid his legal claims are.” He did not however say when he’s joining the team since obviously a guy lamenting the situation would lend a hand to help, right?

BREAKING: NY TIMES REFERS TO TRUMP ASSASSIN RYAN ROUTH AS "CRUSADER FOR CAUSES LARGE AND SMALL" pic.twitter.com/lNjE0Bzyqg

— Jack Poso 🇺🇸 (@JackPosobiec) September 17, 2024

Just throwing this out there that these fuckers are never going to be happy with their coverage so maybe the Times should just stop writing shit like “Political memes spill off the internet into the reality of campaigning” to describe Trump and JD Vance accusing Haitian immigrants of eating people’s cats and dogs leading to literal bomb threats being called in to elementary schools and hospitals. Maybe just write like normal, rational human beings reacting to insanity rather than diluting the poison of MAGA into a tasteless bile that pisses off their actual readers.

Despite US Army leadership having declared the matter to be “closed,” a Defense Department official confirms to ABC News that last month’s altercation between an Arlington National Cemetery employee and convicted felon former President Trump’s deputy campaign manager Justin Caporale and/or advance team member Michel Picard is in fact underway. “The investigation is ongoing at Joint Base Myer-Henderson Hall by base authorities,” a main Pentagon official said, which ABC writes “indicates the Army is not directing the probe.” We guess that means that the Army wanted to drop it but the higher-ranking leadership of the Department of Defense said fuck that.

“Although the Army oversees Arlington National Cemetery, law enforcement is handled by Joint Base Myer-Henderson Hall in Virginia, as a neighboring base. The base’s police department falls under the Army in an administrative capacity, but operates as a law enforcement agency and is staffed by federal law enforcement officers, not military police,” ABC writes of the investigation into the campaign event for which the fat fuck’s team almost certainly used friendly Gold Star families as a cut-out to stage to score political points against Vice President Kamala Harris even without the absolute disgrace of these two cunts physically shoving a female employee of the cemetery.

ABC mentions that “Stanley Woodward, a lawyer representing the Trump campaign officials, declined to comment.” Woodward also represents Walt Nauta, Trump’s accomplice in the Mar-a-Lago documents theft case, so the fact that Caporale and Picard have already retained in-house counsel probably means shit’s getting real and maybe the case is even on its way to a grand jury.

A DC federal judge on Monday tossed right wing propagandist asshole John Solomon’s lawsuit, filed by Stephen Miller’s scam legal outfit last year, seeking documents on the FBI’s 2016 investigation into fat former President Trump’s connections to Russian dictator Vladimir Putin’s regime.

“Plaintiff John Solomon (‘Solomon’), as former President Donald Trump’s representative, has brought mandamus and replevin claims to obtain a ‘binder’ of records under the Presidential Records Act (‘PRA’), 44 U.S.C. §§ 2201-2207. Before the Court are plaintiff’s motion for summary judgment on his mandamus claim, and defendant’s cross-motion for summary judgment on both plaintiff’s mandamus and replevin claims. There are numerous problems with plaintiff’s case. First, the Court lacks subject matter jurisdiction over plaintiff’s mandamus claim. Second, the records at issue are not presidential records under the PRA because they are agency records under the Freedom of Information Act (‘FOIA’). Third, plaintiff does not show any evidence in support of his replevin claim that can save him from summary judgment. For these reasons, as explained in greater detail below, I DISMISS plaintiff’s mandamus claim for a lack of subject matter jurisdiction and DENY as moot plaintiff’s partial motion for summary judgment,” wrote DC Circuit Judge Richard. Leon

Jesus Dork Speaker Mike Johnson is damning the torpedoes and will hold a vote on a continuing resolution to fund the government linked to his stupid bill to ban non-citizens from voting in federal elections on Wednesday, per Punchbowl’s Jake Sherman, who writes “The vote is likely to fail.”

For the skeptics in the replies below, the SEC understands the importance of the US securities markets. I believe it is one of the most non-partisan of our government agencies.

— Bill Ackman (@BillAckman) September 17, 2024

A Monday report by the Daily Beast pointed out a few things we missed when we first skimmed though the EXPLOSIVE, non-notarized affidavit – which ABC unsurprisingly told the Beast is complete bullshit – posted by an anonymous Twitter account called “Black Insurrectionist.” The “affidavit” that even the Gateway Pundit took a pass on, describes Vice President Kamala Harris as having served as the “Attorney General in San Francisco.” The alleged affiant claims to live in “Manhattan New York” and have been with “ABC news” for over 10 years, but they also have somehow observed “significant transformations in the nature of news reporting at the organization” since it was bought up by Disney in 1996, which was 28 years ago.

“SiriusXM announced today that Nikki Haley, former UN Ambassador, governor, and presidential candidate, will host a new show exclusively for SiriusXM’s Triumph channel (111).”

“Titled ‘Nikki Haley Live,’ the hour-long program will premiere on September 25 and air every Wednesday at 8 am ET through the presidential inauguration in January. Each week Haley will analyze and simplify the week’s most significant headlines – including the upcoming election, hotspots around the world, US policy, and even some music and entertainment – offering her insights and engaging in conversations with key figures. Haley, who as a former GOP candidate has played an important role in the ongoing presidential race, will also offer her unique and highly-sought-after opinions on the campaigns of former President Trump and Vice President Harris.”

“Throughout the hour Haley will also have open dialogues with a wide array of guests and callers, featuring clear and compelling conversations about the challenges facing Americans of varying perspectives and backgrounds,” says a Tuesday press release from SiriusXM, lol.