Category: Uncategorized

House Republicans are already starting to consider their choice for leader in either the middle or longer term given Mike Johnson’s increasingly tenuous hold on the speakership that could break sooner rather than later, CNN reports in an article that mentions none other than failed speaker candidate Jim Jordan second after Majority Whip Tom Emmer, who failed less spectacularly last fall.

The article is indeed mostly about Emmer, who is reportedly cozying up to the Orange Tyrant after being so utterly and publicly humiliated with a “RINO” undorsement before he could even make it to the floor. Still, just the fact that they even mention Jordan at all is just so goddamned freaking funny.

Even funnier is how Trump said “We’ll see what happens” with Johnson as he left court on Tuesday, rather than “Mike has my full support right now and it’d be insane to change leadership again.”

In all honesty the likelihood that I commit suicide goes way up if SCOTUS doesn’t throw out the bogus 1512 charge. It’s pure evil what Biden’s DOJ has done to persecute J6ers. If the Supreme Court doesn’t have the courage to stop them then this country is finished.

— Philip Anderson (@VoteBidenOut) April 16, 2024

Not for nothing but we would hazard that this guy only tweeted this “threat” after seeing headlines recapping Tuesday’s arguments at the Supreme Court saying shit like “Supreme Court skeptical of feds’ use of obstruction statute in Jan 6 prosecutions” and “January 6 insurrectionists had a great day in the Supreme Court today,” knowing full well that he probably wouldn’t have to follow through.

Still pretty fucked up and there’s a reason why social media networks run by executives marginally more chemically balanced and moral than Elon Musk prohibit content promoting self-harm.

And even if the obstruction charges get tossed, Anderson himself is still on the hook for a felony civil disorder charge as well as misdemeanors for entering and remaining in a restricted building or grounds, disorderly and disruptive conduct in a restricted building or grounds, and disorderly conduct in a Capitol building. He’s accused of shoving cops during the battle at the West Tunnel Entrance to the Capitol and that’s still probably going to earn him prison time no matter what.

The kinds of shitbags who take online gambling seriously are undoubtedly freaking the fuck out now that stupid betting site Polymarket now finds President Biden the favorite over fat former President Trump at 45 to 44 percent, a pretty big swing from Trump 47 to Biden 34 in January.

“Why is there such an arbitrage between Biden on Polymarket and Predictit? Shouldn’t this alpha be bought out – AKA people taking Biden at $0.46 on Polymarket and then selling him short at $0.53 on Predictit?” some Wall Street reject twatwaffle named Spencer Hakimian wrote in a reply, lol.

The City of Ogden, Utah on Monday politely took back the space which formerly hosted a veterinary non-profit’s rehab center for living animals to make space for a neighboring “dinosaur park” to build a new “hatchery” to design and build new models of the extinct animals, the Deseret News reports.

Or maybe not so politely since it was kind of a “get the fuck out now” kind of situation, according to DaLyn Marthaler, executive director of the Wildlife Rehabilitation Center of Northern Utah, who says the center’s new home isn’t quite ready yet, but the city’s George F Eccles Dinosaur Park booted them anyway to make room for the new “Hatchery” where they’re going to build new fake dinosaurs.

“I cringe because I don’t want to know… It’s just a bad situation,” Marthaler said, estimating that her organization’s new home will only have 40 percent of the capacity even when the new premises is fully online and she’ll need to raise at least $3 million to care for injured owls, mammals, and raptors.

Eccles Dino Park board chair Shane Lyon is thinking about raptors too. “It’s something that’s going to help us take it to the next level,” Lyon said. “We don’t want to get stagnant. That’s the worst thing we could do,” absolutely thrilled about adding new artificial models of antediluvian reptiles to his lineup.

Liquidated my entire portfolio and put it into $DJT stock.

You didn’t?

Stay poor, liberals.

— Mike Crispi (@MikeCrispiNJ) March 26, 2024

The real tragedy here is that this “Rumble streamer” did not actually say how much was in his portfolio that he “liquidated” and dumped into $DJT. Or post a screenshot of the receipts (speaking of screenshots saving one here). So it’s just his word that we have to go on at this point, but let us pray that this boast was sincere and he really did in fact lose 68 percent of his investment.

Michigan Attorney General Dana Nessel on Tuesday announced that he offices is bringing an array of felony charges against Republican former Speaker of the state House Lee Chatfield and his wife for embezzling from a non-profit and conducting a criminal enterprise, the Detroit News reports.

Chatfield, a young millennial bro who at least briefly entertained disgraced former President Trump’s commands to overturn the 2020 election in the Great Lakes State, is also credibly suspected of imprisoning his now-sister-in-law in a sexually abusive relationship that began when she was 15.

A dispute Tuesday over whether a potential juror was somehow biased for posting a video of Manhattanites celebrating in November 2020 after networks declared Joe Biden had defeated fat former President Trump in the election ended with Judge Juan Merchan telling dipshit lawyer Todd Blanche “Your client was audibly uttering something… I won’t tolerate that. I will not have any jurors intimated in this courtroom. I want to make that crystal clear,” per Politico’s Erica Orden.

An eight year-old East St Louis boy is lucky to be alive after cops caught him making the rookie mistake of driving on the wrong side of the road downtown at 4:00 AM Monday, KDSK reports.

The boy, name and gender not made public by St Louis Metro PD, was not charged, but his mom, who was too drunk to tell him to keep to the right side of the road as he drove them back toward the Illinois side of the Mississippi, was hit with two counts of First-degree child endangerment. The second charge was because a toddler in the car didn’t tell the kid to stay on the right either.

Voting tech company Smartmatic has reached a confidential settlement with right wing propaganda outlet One America News Network over the false accusations that Smartmatic had rigged the 2020 election against fat former President Trump, the Washington Post’s Jeremy Barr reports.

Americans are increasingly concerned about Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene’s mental fitness – and with good reason. While our nation is facing crisis after crisis – from inflation to an open border to attacks on American troops and our allies across the world — Georgia’s 14th District’s representative needs to be sharp, decisive and ready to lead. Being mentally competent is the bare minimum. But a recent hearing with DHS Secretary Alex Mayorkas showed evidence of serious cognitive decline — and it’s deeply alarming. “Are you familiar with Laken Riley?” Greene asked Mayorkas angrily, referring to the student brutally murdered by a Venezuelan migrant in February.

Greene then said Mayorkas “should have deported her, so that she could be alive today. Her parents would’ve appreciated that,” showing that the white nationalist just can’t handle this at age 49.

Now, we all have loved ones who struggle with their mental acuity in their late 40s — but the bar can’t be so low for Congresspeople. The unfortunate reality? Marjorie just isn’t up to the job.

Eggheads at the International Monetary Fund on Tuesday forecast that US economic growth will outpace twice over that of any other nation in the G7 group at 2.7 percent expected, FT reports.

Next best would be Canada at 1.2 percent, followed by Japan at 0.9, the UK at 0.5, and Germany at a total shisse 0.2 percent. Italy and France’s forecasts were not mentioned in the article, nor were shitty, autocratic non-G7 countries like Russia, Iran, China, Venezuela, Hungary.

“Trump’s head slowly dropped, his eyes closed. It jerked back upward. He adjusts himself. Then, his head droops again. He straightens up, leaning back. His head doops for a third time, he shakes his shoulders. Eyes closed still. His head drops. Finally, he pops his eyes open,” tweeted Law360’s Frank Runyeon from the New York Criminal Court on Tuesday, copied that verbatim for its florid narration of the addled orange old timer struggling to remain lucid at the defense table.

Speaker of the House Mike Johnson on Tuesday responded to Kentucky MAGA Congressman Tom Massie’s threat to support a motion to vacate with “I am not resigning. And it is in my view an absurd notion someone would bring a vacate motion when we are simply here trying to do our jobs. [The motion] is not helpful to the country. It does not help the House Republicans advance our agenda which is in the best interest of the American people here: a secure border, sound governance, and it’s not helpful to the unity that we have in the body,” per NBC News’s Sahil Kapur.

Manhattan District Attorney Alvin Bragg’s team on Tuesday filed a memorandum in support of their motion for contempt against fat former President Trump for repeated violations of the terms of his gag order in the days and weeks before his 2016 election interference/hush money trial began.

“Upon a finding of criminal contempt, the Judiciary Law authorizes a court to impose a fine not exceeding $1,000 or to sentence the contemnor to no more than 30 days’ jail ‘or both, in the discretion of the court.’ Here, this Court should impose the maximum $1,000 fine for each of defendant’s three violations of the April 1 order. As this Court has already found, defendant’s inflammatory attacks ‘undoubtedly interfere with the fair administration of justice and constitute a direct attack on the Rule of Law itself’ Such grave harm warrants imposition of the maximum fine permitted under the law. This Court should also order defendant to remove the posts attacking Cohen and Daniels. Justice Engoron imposed such relief in the civil-enforcement proceeding. Removing these violative posts would also provide some indication that defendant is willing to ‘desist from further offensive conduct’ in a way that could ward off further findings of contempt.”

“And removal would also help to alleviate the intimidation and alarm intended to be inflicted by defendant’s posts on both Cohen and Daniels, as well as on other potential witnesses and prospective jurors. In addition, this Court should again admonish defendant to comply with his obligations under the order. And finally, this Court should warn defendant that future violations of the Court’s restrictions on his extrajudicial statements can be punished not only with additional fines, but also with a term of incarceration of up to thirty days,” Bragg’s team wrote.

Merchan scheduled something of a trial-within-a-trial for next Tuesday morning to determine whether fatass violated the terms of the gag order. He’ll probably fuck up again before then.

The US Supreme Court on Tuesday will hear arguments from a January 6th defendant who challenged federal government’s use of the obstruction of an official proceeding statute to prosecute the democracy-hating sons of bitches – on top of all the other crimes they committed.

Far right scumbag and antisemitic Kentucky Congressman Thomas Massie on Tuesday demanded Jesus dork Speaker of the House Mike Johnson resign or be vacated because some sort of internecine fucking tantrum over spending and foreign aid, doing so in front of the entire House GOP conference in their closed-door morning meeting, no less, Punchbowl’s Jake Sherman reports on a moment that probably brings us closer to QAdulteress Marjorie Taylor Greene‘s motion to vacate actually coming to to the floor as Massie said he’ll be co-sponsoring it.

Disgraced former President Trump’s campaign have begun circulating a four page memo titled “The Biden Trial, Talking Points,” ordering them to describe it as “a full-frontal assault on American Democracy and the Constitution” and a “witch hunt” as they’re “blanketing the airwaves” to minimize the political damage that having their Orange God Emperor in court will do, CNN reports.

It need not be said that calling it “The Biden Trial” is complete bullshit, not just in the sense that Joe Biden has nothing to do with it and that the fat fuck’s screeching about the 46th President being somehow behind a state-level prosecution which relies on the fact that one former DOJ guy is on District Attorney Alvin Bragg’s team, but that it’s kind of just really cunty in the most base sense: It’s not Joe Biden on trial, it’s Donald Trump. And he’s having an awful time coping with it.

The edict also commands Trump’s ball-sucking cultists to avoid using the words “hush money” but instead “entries in the company’s records,” and claiming Trump “did not control the books,” in during the trial in which their Orange Allah “faces no realistic threat of jail, even with a wrongful guilty verdict from the jury.” They’ve been wrong about a lot of shit before though, lol.

President Joe Biden will be in his hometown of Scranton, Pennsylvania on Tuesday to pitch voters on not reelecting the fat fuck who gave the wealthy and corporations a 40 percent tax cut and instead level the playing field and seek a fairer share from the plutocrats, USA Today reports.

Technically day two of disgraced former President Trump’s 2016 election interference/Stormy Daniels hush money payoff trial hasn’t actually started yet and there are signs that the fat fuck simply isn’t going to make it the seven or eight weeks or however long it takes to select a jury, hear from all the witnesses, and get to a verdict that is not terribly likely to end well for him.

Like if he starts the day with posting “MY TRIAL IS AN ASSAULT ON AMERICA!” and then “This conflicted, Trump Hating Judge won’t let me respond to people that are on TV lying and spewing hate all day long. He is running rough shod over my lawyers and legal team. The New York System of ‘Justice’ is being decimated by critics from all over the World. I want to speak, or at least be able to respond. Election Interference! RIGGED, UNCONSTITUTIONAL TRIAL! Take off the Gag Order!” when he should know full well that demanding the gag order be removed is not like demanding his Republicans in Congress vote for this or that bullshit piece of legislation.

Should know. Like he never was fully there, but hopefully this is a sign that shit is REALLY starting to get to him and what’s left of his diseased psyche and tenuous physical health further deteriorates rapidly and leaves him in a place where he’s essentially non-functional and unable to campaign.