“Today, I am pleased to sign into law S. 619, the ‘COVID-19 Origin Act of 2023.’ I share the Congress’s goal of releasing as much information as possible about the origin of Coronavirus Disease 2019. In 2021, I directed the Intelligence Community to use every tool at its disposal to investigate the origin of COVID-19, and that work is ongoing. We need to get to the bottom of COVID-19’s origins to help ensure we can better prevent future pandemics.”

“My Administration will continue to review all classified information relating to COVID-19’s origins, including potential links to the Wuhan Institute of Virology. In implementing this legislation, my Administration will declassify and share as much of that information as possible, consistent with my constitutional authority to protect against the disclosure of information that would harm national security,” says a statement from the White House on Monday.

Republican House Financial Services Committee Chairman Patrick McHenry attended a fundraiser thrown by Signature Bank on March 2, just ten days before it failed, Bloomberg reports.

Hawley introducing legislation revoking China’s normal trade relations status https://t.co/KfB4SapX2J pic.twitter.com/P8HE30hu34

— The Hill (@thehill) March 20, 2023

Prosecutors with Fulton County, Georgia District Attorney Fani Willis’s office want to talk to Trump lawyer/OAN host Christina Bobb about something presumably related to the MAGA Reich’s post-2020 election coup attempt in the state, ABC News reports. It’s not clear why Bobb was never asked to testify before the special purpose grand jury that concluded its work in December, and her attorney told ABC she plans to fight any effort to get her to talk to the DA. Last month the Wall Street Journal reported that Bobb had testified to Justice Department special counsel Jack Smith’s federal grand jury on her potentially criminal role in the Mar-a-Lago documents clusterfuck.

Maybe it is time to get the band back together🇺🇸@america1stwomen #MarchforTrump #StoptheTyranny #SaveAmerica #WFAF pic.twitter.com/OGqmoUqHSV

— Amy Kremer (@AmyKremer) March 20, 2023

It’s hard to say one way or the other if the Capitol riot would have happened if not for “Women for Trump” aka “Women for America First” Amy Kremer and her scumbag daughter. “For want of a nail, the war was lost” doesn’t quite apply when there were a lot of nails lying around. However it’s beyond dispute that the Kremers’ post-2020 election bus tour to whip up right wing anger over Donald’s defeat set its final stop for the Ellipse after the inauguration according to a permit application, which was then changed to January 6th after Trump tweeted “Be there, will be wild!” on December 19th, 2020. So this is definitely a woman who knows how to party, MAGA style.

“Ron will probably find out about this sometime in the future when he’s unfairly and illegally attacked by a woman (or possibly a man!) with false accusations,” wrote fat former President Trump in a Monday Truth Social post before deleting it almost immediately. We’re going to go ahead and guess that since no one, including Trump, seriously denies he had sex with Stormy Daniels for 45 seconds, that he would think “accusations” against DeSantis from a man would have some basis in truth.

Minutes later Trump then posted a longer version, writing “Ron DeSanctimonious will probably find out about FALSE ACCUSATIONS & FAKE STORIES sometime in the future, as he gets older, wiser, and better known, when he’s unfairly and illegally attacked by a woman, even classmates that are ‘underage’ (or possibly a man!). I’m sure he will want to fight these misfits just like I do!” with a screencap of the 2021 Hill Reporter story about DeSantis drinking with teenage girls back in 2002.

“Seriously, does anyone think the NY DA is going to show up for a hearing. Freaking liberals make and create their own laws while totally ignoring the laws of the land and the ell with everyone else”

– The current top comment on the Breitbart article “Jordan, Comer Seek Testimony from Manhattan DA in Anticipation of ‘Unprecedented Abuse’ of Authority Against Trump,” posted Monday.

Fat former President Trump will be officially indicted in Manhattan either later in the day on Monday or at some point on Wednesday, Politico reports from sources on preparations being made by law enforcement and the Secret Service in New York City for his appearance and arraignment.

A New York City federal judge on Monday ruled in favor of the plaintiffs in three separate lawsuits against JP Morgan Chase and Deutsche Bank over their involvement in dead evil pimp Jeffrey Epstein’s underage sex trafficking ring, allowing the cases – Jane Doe 1 et al v Deutsche Bank, Jane Doe 1 et al v JP Morgan Chase Bank, and Government of The United States Virgin Islands v JP Morgan Chase Bank – to move forward. Each of the cases accuses the two banks of turning “a blind eye” to the financial transactions that fueled the heinous crimes of their former client and his pals.

A DC federal judge on Monday ordered near-total home confinement for Capitol riot defendant Gabe Garcia after the scumbag violated his pre-trial conditions by traveling to the DC area to attend this month’s CPAC circlejerk when he had said he was only there to meet with his former attorney and watch some of another insurrection defendant’s trial, CBS News’s Scott MacFarlane reports.

Garcia “is restricted to his residence at all times, except for employment, religious services, medical treatment and court appearances. Any other activities must be approved at least 2 business days in advance by the Pretrial Services,” said the order from DC Circuit Judge Amy Berman Jackson.

So DeSantis thinks that Dems weaponizing the law to indict President Trump is a "manufactured circus" & isn't a "real issue"

Pure weakness. Now we know why he was silent all weekend. He's totally owned by Karl Rove, Paul Ryan & his billionaire donors. 100% Controlled Opposition. https://t.co/3fT06rlbH5

— Donald Trump Jr. (@DonaldJTrumpJr) March 20, 2023

Trump minion Congressmen James Comer and Jim Jordan on Monday wrote a letter to Manhattan District Attorney Alvin Bragg to come testify to Congress on an indictment of the twice-impeached former President that hasn’t even happened yet, writing “You are reportedly about to engage in an unprecedented abuse of prosecutorial authority: the indictment of a former President of the United States and current declared candidate for that office. This indictment comes after years of your office searching for a basis-any basis-on which to bring charges, ultimately settling on a novel legal theory untested anywhere in the country and one that federal authorities declined to pursue.”

“If these reports are accurate, your actions will erode confidence in the evenhanded application of justice and unalterably interfere in the course of the 2024 presidential election. In light of the serious consequences of your actions, we expect that you will testify about what plainly appears to be a politically motivated prosecutorial decision” and blah blah blah, more bitching and crying.

What’s funny here is not that they’re doing this out of fear and panic (which is funny), but that they’re NOT doing it to Fulton County, Georgia DA Fani Willis or Justice Department Special Counsel Jack Smith, both of whose investigations into Trump have been going on a much longer. Bragg only revived the Stormy case back in January, and apparently they’re too chickenshit to try to bring “oversight” onto the prosecutors with the much more legally dangerous cases against Donald.

A lot of ink was spilled in the last few days over Trump’s minions hounding heels-wearing Florida Governor Ron DeSantis to respond to the looming indictment of his all-but-certain GOP primary rival with assholes like deadbeat dad Jason Miller calling out “radio silence” from Ron on the matter and white nationalist “Doctor” Seb Gorka asking “So is DeSantis going to say anything?”

On Monday they got their answer with DeSantis addressing a question from a reporter on the matter, mostly ranting about Manhattan DA Alvin Bragg being funded by Soros and all that “crime wave” bullshit. However in the middle of it Tiny D said he wasn’t sure about the merits of the case and pointedly used words like “paying hush money to a porn star to secure silence over some type of alleged affair” that don’t exactly sound like someone who thinks Donald is innocent. So he played this very well actually, giving most of the airtime to the MAGA line about urban Democratic DAs but slipping in some sly “LOL” about the crime itself. Difficult to see how Trump’s lieutenants press DeSantis on this harder without drawing more attention to the crime itself.

Lawyers for disgraced former President Trump on Monday moved to toss out the entirety of the still-unpublished final report from the Fulton County, Georgia special purpose grand jury investigating his coup attempt in the state following his loss in the 2020 election and disqualify District Attorney Fani Willis’s office from prosecuting him, as well as Judge Robert McBurney from overseeing the case, probably because they’re upset the libs got so giddy and excited over the forewoman’s media tour.

“Comes now, President Donald J. Trump, by and through undersigned counsel and files this Motion to Quash the Special Purpose Grand Jury Report and Preclude any State prosecuting agency from presenting or utilizing any evidence or testimony derived by the Special Purpose Grand Jury (hereinafter ‘SPGJ’) in the above-referenced matter. Movant additionally requests that the District Attorney’s Office be disqualified from any further involvement in this matter. This motion is based on the Fifth and Fourteenth Amendments to the United States Constitution and Ga. Const. Art. I, § I, Paras. I and XVI, and all other applicable federal and state laws.”

“By agreement of the Fulton County Superior Court bench, Chief Judge Christopher Brasher authorized the impaneling of the special purpose grand jury, assigned its supervision to Judge Robert McBurney (hereinafter ‘Supervising Judge’), and the SPGJ was subsequently dissolved on January 9, 2023. Because this motion raises issues as to the governance of the SPGJ and the propriety of the Supervising Judge’s conduct, Movant respectfully requests this motion be heard by the judicial officer responsible for impaneling the SPGJ, the Chief Judge, or a duly assigned Fulton County Superior Court judge other than the Supervising Judge. Undersigned Counsel requests a hearing on the matters set forth below. Hereinafter, said violations will collectively be referred to as ‘Fifth Amendment violations,'” Trump’s lawyers wrote in the motion which unfortunately we only have the first page of right now. Will update when we get some more of the bitching.

Far right New York Congresswoman Claudia Tenney on Monday told Newsmax she thinks the whole thing with her Orange Allah getting indicted for paying off a pornstar to stay quiet about them having sex for 45 seconds ten years prior to the 2016 election is “grandstanding” that will “blow over” after the Manhattan DA’s office is unable to get him to show up to answer the charges. Really says a lot about what the “Law and Order party” thinks about the American justice system.

A rebel group blamed for the Sunday massacre of nine Chinese nationals at a ChiCom-owned gold mine in the Central African Republic later in the day put out a statement blaming Russian Wagner mercenaries for the attack at the recently-opened site, the Associated Press reports.

The leader of the “Coalition of Patriots for Change,” which sure sounds awfully American-inspired from a name of a violent anti-government militia (and even better – they’re loyal to authoritarian ex-President Francois Bozize), claimed Wagner mercs had long planned the attack “with the goal of scaring Chinese who have been present long before the Russians settled in this part of the country.”

Nonagenarian right wing media mogul Rupert Murdoch is settling down and getting hitched for the fifth and presumably the final time before Satan calls him home as one of his trashier outlets, the New York Post, reports the prolific stud is engaged to former San Francisco police chaplain Ann Lesley Smith, 66, less than nine months after calling it quits with fourth wife Jerry Hall.

The wedding will be set for some time late this summer. Previous Rupert Murdoch weddings were held in 1956, 1967, 1999, and 2016. It is unclear if any of the ex-wives will be on the guest list.

Why would it matter if the statute of limitations has expired (it hasn’t) if there was no crime? If the fat bastard is innocent then why would he also raise basically a technicality as to why he can’t be charged? And why do he and his minions keep saying shit like the hush money payoff was a “confidential settlement” if the 45-second sexual encounter supposedly never happened? Why would Trump let himself be victimized by some “Horseface” porn actress extorting him?

House Republicans, led by spandex-wearing grapple freak Congressman Jim Jordan, are readying subpoenas for Manhattan DA Alvin Bragg and his staff due to the total unfairness of the imminent indictment of fat former President Trump on charges related to his 45 second sexual encounter with pornstar Stormy Daniels and subsequent hush money payoff, Politico Playbook reports.

Jordan told Playbook Bragg is “a Soros-backed, crazy, left-wing prosecutor… and he is doing this purely political sham.” One anonymously quoted House GOP aide was wary of having to play defense for the Orange God Emperor like they did pretty much every day while he was in office, saying “Yet again, his ego gets in the way and he feels the need to suck the oxygen out of the room.”

Fulton County, Georgia District Attorney Fani Willis is considering hitting disgraced former President Trump with racketeering and conspiracy (RICO) charges over he and his minions’ failed attempt to overturn his humiliating loss to Joe Biden in the state in the 2020 election, CNN reports.

Willis is expected to make her final charging decision sometime in the next few months as a regular grand jury considers the all-but-certain recommendations to indict the twice-impeached loser and his scumbag buddies from a separate special-purpose grand jury that wrapped up last year.