So far, watching Republicans control the Department of Justice has been like watching Ferris Bueller's Day Off without Bueller finding the keys to the Ferrari.

— Warren Davidson 🇺🇸 (@WarrenDavidson) March 29, 2026

Nah, I was hoping more like Untouchables, only with an Elliot Ness for every sanctuary city and several focused on Democrat cartel operations like Act Blue, the Soros Network, and Antifa. Perhaps that's all still in the works comrade.

— Warren Davidson 🇺🇸 (@WarrenDavidson) March 30, 2026

“Birthright Citizenship is not about rich people from China, and the rest of the World, who want their children, and hundreds of thousands more, FOR PAY, to ridiculously become citizens of the United States of America. It is about the BABIES OF SLAVES! We are the only Country in the World that dignifies this subject with even discussion. Look at the dates of this long ago legislation – THE EXACT END OF THE CIVIL WAR! The World is getting rich selling citizenships to our Country, while at the same time laughing at how STUPID our US Court System has become (TARIFFS!). ‘Dumb Judges and Justices will not a great Country make!'” posted the President of the United States on Monday morning, two days before his Solicitor General D John Sauer leans on an 1884 Supreme Court ruling against a native american in his quest to uphold Trump’s ability to outlaw birthright citizenship – but only for the children of non-citizens born domestically after February 2025 – via executive fiat.

You never know, calling the United States Supreme Court stupid could help Sauer, who’s already got his work cut out for him, to say the least. “We believe the reliance on Elk to deny birthright citizenship to children of undocumented immigrants is misplaced. It’s a misreading and a misunderstanding,” Leonard Fineday, general counsel of the National Congress of American Indians, told NBC as though Sauer doesn’t already fucking know it and that the 1884 Elk v Wilkins decision is simply the best he’s got as he tries to work backwards from the outcome Trump wants.

It’d be a waste of space to even summarize Elk v Wilkins here. All you really need to know is that majority opinion author Justice Horace Gray in 1898 also penned the Wong Kim Ark decision Trump is trying to overturn, with Gray writing in Ark specifically that his earlier decision concerned “only members of Indian tribes within the United States and had no tendency to deny citizenship to children born in the United States” who were not Native American as he and majority affirmed that any other person born within US borders – excepting those of two foreign diplomats – was automatically a US citizen. Then toss in that in 1924 the Elk v Wilkins decision was superseded when President Calvin Cooldige signed the Indian Citizenship Act. Maybe Sauer wants that nixed too.

Monday saw the end of the road for Australian sovereign citizen Desmond Filby, aka Dezi Freeman, shot dead by cops in a shipping container hideout in a wooded hinterland outside of Thologolong in Victoria state after being sought for seven months in the murders of Victoria State Police Det Leading Sr Constable Neal Thompson and Sr Constable Vadim De Waart-Hottart, 9News Au reports.

De Waart-Hottart and Thompson were shot dead outside of Filby’s rusty abandoned bus home in Porepunkah, nearly 60 miles south of Thologolong, last August as they argued with the crazy asshole and his wife over the warrant. A third officer was wounded and was able to crawl under the bus and hide until backup arrived and Filby fled into the thick brush of Mount Buffalo National Park.

Filby was already an apocalypse prepper hostile to government before the COVID pandemic when he really lost it, adopting the surname Freeman as is trendy with both American and Australian sovcits. Which leads to the other, very much Ruby Ridge-flavored, problem: Cops believe that Filby had plenty of help fleeing and hiding from police following the murders. Indeed, on Monday they had been acting on a tip that Filby was already dead and ended up in a three-hour standoff before they were finally able to kill the “patriot.” Victoria Police Commissioner Mike Bush told reporters Monday that his department “will be speaking to anybody who we suspect may have assisted him to avoid arrest” and that anyone “complicit” in helping Freeman stay on the lam would face charges.

Which raises the question of whether Filby’s end is just the beginning of a long, dark road.

Flames erupted from one of Israel’s just two oil refineries in the city of Haifa on Monday after Iranian projectiles rained down on the country over a month into the insane war started by convicted felon President Trump and Israeli dictator Benjamin Netanyahu, the Associated Press reports.

The strike followed a Sunday attack on a chemical plant in Beersheba in southern Israel where Al-Jazeera reports authorities ordered evacuations following a possible leak of hazardous substances.

Convicted felon President Trump’s administration has given the green light for a Russian-owned oil tanker to dock in Cuba for who the hell knows what reason when the whole point of the blockade was to force a collapse in the country, the New York Times reports.

Amazing how a political movement that returned to power on a mantra that can be approximately summarized by “Red Lobster filing for bankruptcy is so much worse than hundreds of thousands of people dying of COVID and a deadly assault on the United States Capitol” doesn’t realize that turning that around on themselves is not just ineffective but actually making things worse.

They really can’t just come up with some kind of new fake outrage like Critical Race Theory or public schools grooming children to become trans or Mr Potato Head’s cock to distract their key demographics from the steady pile-up of unforced errors? The party that weaponizes inattention to context is literally trying to draw attention to context here? Americans expect better bullshit than this moron acting as though there isn’t plenty of growth potential in that bottom bar.

Evidently having decided that it wasn’t enough to have failed to implement “election integrity” or effect “regime change” in Iran so hemight as well put his party deeper in the hole on healthcare policy too convicted felon President Trump on Sunday posted, “The Unaffordable Care Act, sometimes referred to as ObamaCare, must be replaced by payments being made directly to THE PEOPLE, so that they can buy their own Healthcare, rather than to bloated and uncaring Insurance Companies. ObamaCare is not and, never has been, sustainable!” Such an extraordinary individual!

A $300 million USAF E-3 Sentry AWACS command and control plane was destroyed in Friday’s Iranian attack on the Prince Sultan Air Base in Saudi Arabia, Air and Space Forces Magazine reports.

Per Bloomberg’s Josh Wingrove it’s the first ever loss of an aircraft of this type. No president in American history has ever had this happen to the Air Force. It’s unprecedented, amazing.

pic.twitter.com/qBUPdkeJbu

— GOP (@GOP) March 29, 2026

Convicted felon President Trump’s regime is, according to the Washington Post, “preparing for weeks of ground operations in Iran” in the form of a series of limited raids and similar types of missions rather than a full-on occupation of the country. Still a fucking insanely stupid idea.

Former frenemies apparently turned allies once again Stewie Rhodes and Enrique Tarrio – leaders of the Oath Keepers and Proud Boys, respectively, were at the the Dallas No Kings protests on Saturday afternoon where at least one person, apparently an Oath Keeper, was arrested at around 3 PM for tussling with a lib demonstrator, Fox 26 reports in a very thinly detailed article.

The specifics matter less than the fact that the seditious conspirators – who would’ve spent the next few decades in prison had their Orange God Emperor not freed them – were there at all, the most reliable sign that they’re feeling threatened. Those two shitbags and their terrorist cosplayers didn’t bother to show up to either of last year’s No Kings protests, simply because they felt confident that the previous four years had just been an interregnum, a little hiccup on the road a thousand-year MAGA Reich. Now barely a year in and once again the Proud Keepers are, by their very presence, signaling that MAGAism cannot maintain a popular, small-d democratic mandate among the people.

There always has to be the threat of violence implied. Right back to form, like 2020 never ended.

Rotating coverage of the third of these wildly successful nation-wide demonstrations.

Responding to a complaint brought by DirecTV, a California federal judge late Friday temporarily halted the merger of TV station affiliate chains Nexstar and Tegna and ordered a hearing for next week for the parties to answer more questions about the Trump-loyal media cartels’ plans – already approved by corrupt incel FCC chair Brendan Carr – to consolidate control over vast swathes of American television media markets, especially after Nexstar unilaterally preempted Jimmy Kimmel’s show on its ABC affiliates late last year because the host had dared to mock the convicted felon president’s bizarre and far from sympathetic reaction to the assassination of Charlie Kirk.

Colorado Attorney General Phil Weiser tweeted “BREAKING – The judge in our case challenging the Nexstar-Tegna merger (9News and Fox31) just issued a temporary restraining order, blocking the companies from merging. On April 7th, the judge will consider the request to bar the merger while we make our case to stop it permanently,” which was a little fib by omission as it was DirecTV’s parallel case, not his and other Blue States’, that landed the hold. The same judge, Troy Nunley, is overseeing both, so Weiser wasn’t necessarily lying when he said “the judge in our case.”

Shitty Nexstar-owned political news site The Hill has not printed a story about their overlord’s legal setback yet. Instead their most recent article as of 11:25 AM Saturday is headlined “FCC’s Brendan Carr: Trump is ‘winning’ against ‘fake news media’.” Cope harder, you fucking lightweight wieners.

It is the end of democracy if voter ID is not passed https://t.co/l5VRstc6ea

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) March 28, 2026

Fun fact: Despite having starkly warned prior to last year’s Wisconsin state Supreme Court election that “the future of Western civilization is very much in the balance right now” and pissing away upwards of $20 million only for MAGA candidate Brad Schimel to lose by 10 percent – maintaining the bench’s 4-3 liberal majority – there’s no reporting indicating that Elon Musk has spent a single dime supporting the conservative candidate in next month’s race, Maria Lazar, whose loss in defense of a seat currently held by Nazi hell witch Rebecca Bradley would put the right in a 5-2 hole.

So yeah, one might reasonably ask what the fuss is if society’s already in ashes.

Harry Wait, the Wisconsin MAGA asshole who “proved” voter fraud by illegally putting fake names and addresses into the state’s online absentee ballot request form system, was convicted Tuesday night on two misdemeanor counts of election fraud and one felony count of identity theft for his mind-bogglingly pointless 2022 scheme, the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel reports. Seriously, this guy’s plot was arguably dumber and less effective at validating MAGA conspiracy shit than former Mesa County, Colorado Clerk Tina Peters‘s exposure of her Dominion Voting System passwords.

At least she might theoretically have exposed security vulnerabilities. Wait’s “pentest” exposed nothing that could ever have been consequential for “election integrity” in the Badger State.

Not very long story short, Wait visited the state’s absentee ballot request website and put in Republican state Assembly Speaker Robin Vos’s and Dem Racine Mayor Cory Mason’s names but Wait’s home address and successfully ordered Mason’s ballot to be mailed to him. He did it again with at least eight other people’s names, all of them fellow “Stop the Steal” assclowns. Wait then tried to hand Mason’s unopened ballot to Racine City Clerk Tara McMenamin’s office but was told they could and would not accept it. So instead Wait tried to show it to a patrol deputy under Racine County Sheriff Chris Schmaling – a fellow MAGA asshole whose later refusal to investigate Wait led to the state attorney general‘s office taking the lead – while Schmaling publicly validated the scam.

You already guessed what the headline means. The New York Post reports that the fat fuck thinks he’s going to rename the Strait of Hormuz the Strait of America – or the Strait of Trump.

“We are taking the Strait back. It’s guaranteed, and they will never blackmail us on that strait. You can take it to the bank,” one minion told the Post and was apparently actually serious. “He does believe that if we’re going to guard it, if we’re going to take care of it, if we’re going to police it, if we’re going to ensure free safety through it that, why should we call it that Hormuz?”

A Minnesota federal judge on Friday tossed the Trump regime’s lawsuit against Minnesota over the state’s laws regarding in-state tuition for undocumented students, Politico’s Kyle Cheney reports.

Friendly reminder to the “skeptics” in the National Zero audience: You could have it so much worse than being asked to merely entertain the idea that extrasolar intelligences older and thus more advanced than ours developed superluminal travel and have established on our planet a presence of unknown scope to surreptitiously observe us from their craft as a means of scientific research.

You really could. You could have someone who aspires to be the next President of the United States telling a barely-closeted podcaster that, during the very small handful of plausible encounters with the occupants of these crafts documented over history, the witnesses were actually seeing demons, as in supernatural religious/Biblical entities, that assume the appearance of space aliens to fulfill whatever the fuck crazy bullshit he and these other Christian “dominionist” freaks believe.

Plus if you had to choose you damn well know which one you’d rather be right: The guy whose fringe beliefs are grounded in science and fairly simplistic anthropomorphic projections, not the one whose fringe beliefs come from the fucking Left Behind books and other pop eschatological trash.