Categories
Uncategorized

DHS announces plan to build gulags in flood-prone areas

“The Department of Homeland Security (DHS), Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE), is issuing this notice in accordance with Executive Order (EO) 11988, Floodplain Management, as amended. ICE has determined that the Proposed Action, described below, is located within the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) 100-year floodplain (Zone AE), 500‑year floodplain (shaded Zone X), and the Regulatory Floodway. ICE reviewed practicable alternatives to avoid locating the proposed facility in the floodplain, evaluated nature‑based approaches where feasible, and assessed potential effects on floodplain resources,” says a notice on the reich ministry’s website acknowledging they’re aware of the flood zones in Romulus, Michigan and Hagerstown, Maryland…

…according to FEMA one of their own agencies. But meh, let’s just build the gulags anyway.

Categories
Uncategorized

Marketing wizard commands his thrall to rebrand their vaporware

“IT’S ‘SAVE AMERICA ACT,’ NOT ‘SAVE ACT.’ REPUBLICANS MUST START USING THE TERM, ‘SAVE AMERICA ACT’ – MUCH MORE POTENT, AND DESCRIPTIVE!” posted the Orange God Emperor on Friday, ordering his supplicants in the party to further dramatize the stakes of their attempt to codify election denialism that is already dead in the Senate because there aren’t enough votes to create a filibuster carveout. Renaming it is putting a prosthetic butthole on a complete ass of a dead end.

Categories
Uncategorized

NOS-huffing maniac wanted in Pennsylvania for torching house to kill phantom spider swarm cuffed by NYPD after crashing U-Haul

Full disclosure: There’s only so much room in the headlines here so it should be established upfront that it’s not clear if 36 year-old Long Island man Sean McDermott was definitely hallucinating the spiders due to huffing nitrous oxide, aka laughing gas. In fact seeing insects or spiders crawling around is not a particularly common effect of the inhalant, which opens the possibility that there were a large quantity of arachnids dwelling in the now-burned out townhouse in Pocono Pines, Pennsylvania it was some other narcotic that prompted McDermott to assert fire was the most effective solution to the infestation. Or that other narcotic caused him to hallucinate the spiders.

That and other unanswered questions linger after this report by 6ABC on the havoc McDermott hath wrought. It still however does a pretty admirable job putting it altogether: McDermott and a friend were in the townhouse that he owns (or owned) in the mountainous Pennsylvania countryside on Monday when the fiery behavior began. The article lists McDermott as living in East Moriches, New York – deep in the MAGA part of eastern Long Island – but does not elaborate on whether he was in the process of moving or had bought the townhouse as a rental/vacation property or what.

In any case, the friend later told cops that McDermott “kept putting the fires out and McDermott kept lighting them” to immolate the real, exaggerated, or imaginary spiders. At some point both men had left to go to separate destinations but arrived back at the house at the same time to find it engulfed in flames. Local fire crews spent the next eight hours trying to put out the fire that gutted the townhouse and damaged no fewer than three adjoining/nearby units to an unclear extent.

Categories
Uncategorized

NASA adds a second Artemis Lunar test mission

“As part of a Golden Age of exploration and discovery, NASA announced Friday the agency is increasing its cadence of missions under the Artemis program to achieve the national objective of returning American astronauts to the Moon and establishing an enduring presence. This includes standardizing vehicle configuration, adding an additional mission in 2027, and undertaking at least one surface landing every year thereafter,” says the space agency in a new press release.

“As teams prepare to launch Artemis II in the weeks ahead, the Artemis III mission, now in 2027, will be designed to test out systems and operational capabilities in low Earth orbit to prepare for an Artemis IV landing in 2028. This new mission will endeavor to include a rendezvous and docking with one or both commercial landers from SpaceX and Blue Origin, in-space tests of the docked vehicles, integrated checkout of life support, communications, and propulsion systems, as well as tests of the new Extravehicular Activity (xEVA) suits. NASA will further define this test flight after completing detailed reviews between NASA and our industry partners. The agency will share the specific objectives for the updated Artemis III mission in the near future.

Categories
Uncategorized

Suppose it was only a matter of time…

Not these two idiots endorsing sick scumbag Texas Congressman Tony Gonzales’s maniacal gun freak primary challenger Brandon Herrera but that “Let’s Go Brandon” would become the rallying cry.

It was only a matter of time that would happen.

In related news, and this gets really friggin tea-leafy, but noteworthy nonetheless: The Texas Tribune’s Patrick Svitek points out that one of convicted felon President Trump’s minions on Friday took the wheel of his Truth Social account to repost his endorsements of a total of 27 Republican US House candidates from the Lone Star State ahead of his trip to Corpus Cristi this afternoon. Of those 27, 10 of them are running for open seats or challenging incumbent Dems while the other 17 are incumbents running again. Tony Gonzales was the only one left out of this re-endorsement binge.

Might’ve raised a few eyebrows if Trump had in fact reaffirmed support for Tony. Also missing from the lengthy string of posts was any word on who he’s backing in the Senate primary.

Categories
Uncategorized

Colombian pro-Trump party lawmaker’s son finally deported

Colombian media on Wednesday reported that 23 year-old national Rafael Vergara, whose mom, Conservative Party Congresswoman Angela Vergara, claimed to CNN had been legally living and working in the US while being processed for asylum, was finally deported back home this week after more than 20 days in the gulag in Louisiana waiting for a seat on a deportation flight.

“This isn’t a political issue; it’s really a human rights issue,” Congresswoman Vergara told CNN, adding “Being a conservative politician doesn’t mean I agree with human rights violations in Colombia or anywhere else in the world.” At no point was it explained why the son of a politician with resources and connections had been claiming asylum like an impoverished laborer rather than simply buying his way in the same way so many other third-world elites’ kids do but whatever.

“He told me that he was with 70 people in a cell, that they had gone 12 hours the day before without drinking water, (and) everyone was sick,” said the woman whose party celebrated mightily when convicted felon President Trump returned to the White House and have since constantly heckled leftist President Gustavo Petro over his clashes with El Naranjo Coño. Petro last week had tweeted a November 2024 video of a woman resembling Vergara dancing with a MAGA hat on but deleted it after it had turned out she was some right wing Chilean senator. “No matter the paradox, the Colombian embassy in the US must help… this Colombian congresswoman to recover her son,” Petro had written nonetheless. It’s not clear if Rafael’s return was sped up by any political intervention.

Categories
Uncategorized

Mike Johnson says Republican’s health situation may be “terminal”

Gathering his caucus at a “retreat” in Florida on Friday, Jesus Dork Speaker of the House Mike Johnson informed his members that Sunshine State Republican Congressman Neal Dunn – who’s already dropped his 2026 reelection bid and over the last month or so has reportedly been back-and-forth on resigning immediately due to his serious health issues – may have a “terminal diagnosis,” Punchbowl’s Jake Sherman reports on more grim news for Mike’s already-tiny majority.

Were Dunn to resign immediately it would put the House at 217 R – 214 D, technically a GOP plurality.

Categories
Uncategorized

Cabinet secretary’s wife says Trump “too cozy” with commie tyrant

Categories
Uncategorized

House schedules grueling two-day workweek in DC

Speaker Mike Johnson’s office on Friday set next week’s agenda for the House of Representatives, calling members in for a grind of a three-day workweek on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday, NOTUS’s Reese Gorman reported before a Dem staffer replied to say it’s just Wednesday-Thursday.

They will not be back in the following Monday as that is a recess week for the House.

Categories
Uncategorized

Wholesale price index crushes expectations in January

“The Producer Price Index for final demand increased 0.5 percent in January, seasonally adjusted, the US Bureau of Labor Statistics reported today. Final demand prices advanced 0.4 percent in December 2025 and 0.2 percent in November. On an unadjusted basis, the index for final demand rose 2.9 percent for the 12 months ended January 2026. The January increase in prices for final demand can be traced to a 0.8-percent advance in the index for final demand services.”

“In contrast, prices for final demand goods declined 0.3 percent. The index for final demand less foods, energy, and trade services moved up 0.3 percent in January, the ninth consecutive increase. For the 12 months ended in January, prices for final demand less foods, energy, and trade services rose 3.4 percent,” says the January Producer Price Index report from the Bureau of Labor Statistics.

Analysts had expected a 0.3 percent increase, per CNBC, so 0.8 is crushing expectations.

Categories
Uncategorized

Ivanka’s backup somehow significantly more unqualified for job

Categories
Uncategorized

Heartbroken Florida man wasn’t suicidal, just kinda stuck in mud

The Putnam County, Florida Sheriff’s Office on Thursday announced that 36 year-old Andrew Giddens, who friends and family feared was suicidal over a recent breakup after he disappeared on Valentine’s Day, fears that escalated after his vehicle had been found abandoned on the edge of a large sand mine on Monday, was actually fine the whole time he was missing. Relatively speaking…

“Andrew Giddens, 36, had been reported missing and was found alive at Vulcan Materials Company, a sand plant east of Melrose. He had been stuck in mud for several days without food or water, while the area faced freezing temperatures. His vehicle was found nearby two days before he was rescued. The rescue took about two to three hours, with specialized crews working carefully to bring him to safety. Thanks to the skill and teamwork of these first responders, Andrew is expected to recover,” said the Palatka Fire Department in a Facebook post following the rescue.

Hopefully he meets a nice nurse or doctor while recuperating from the batshit ordeal.

Categories
Uncategorized

Palestinians overtake Israelis on American sympathies: Gallup poll

“Forty-one percent of Americans now say they sympathize more with the Palestinians in the Middle East situation, while 36 percent sympathize more with the Israelis. The five-percentage-point difference is not statistically significant, but it contrasts with a clear lead for the Israelis only a year ago (46 percent vs 33 percent) and larger leads over the prior 24 years. From 2001 to 2025, Israelis consistently held double-digit leads in Americans’ Middle East sympathies, with the gap averaging 43 points between 2001 and 2018. However, public opinion began narrowing in 2019, several years before the Oct 7, 2023, Hamas attack on Israel and the subsequent war in Gaza. The cumulative effect of gradual changes in US attitudes since then has led to the Israelis no longer being viewed more sympathetically,” says the intro to Gallup’s latest polling and the writing on the wall for “Bibi.”

Worse, the relatively narrow gap is all propped up by respondents 55 and older, who sympathize with Israel 49 to 31 percent. Among those between 35 and 54 it’s 46 percent Palestinians to 31 percent Israelis and with 18-34s an even wider 53 to 23 percent Palestinians over Israelis.

Categories
Uncategorized

Huckabee tells Americans to GTFO of Israel

“In response to security incidents and without advance notice, the US Embassy may further restrict or prohibit US government employees and their family members from traveling to certain areas of Israel, the Old City of Jerusalem, and the West Bank. Persons may wish to consider leaving Israel while commercial flights are available,” the otherwise non-specific warning continued.

Categories
Uncategorized

US laser shoots down US drone on US soil

An American laser weapon successfully defended US soil from an incursion by a US drone in the volatile border region of Texas on Thursday, leading the FAA to close local airspace, the AP reports.

“Our heads are exploding over the news that DoD reportedly shot down a Customs and Border Protection drone using a high risk counter-unmanned aircraft system,” Dem Congressman Rick Larsen, ranking member on the House Transportation and Infrastructure committee wrote. “We said months ago that the White House’s decision to sidestep a bipartisan, tri-committee bill to appropriately train C-UAS operators and address the lack of coordination between the Pentagon, DHS and the FAA was a short-sighted idea. Now, we’re seeing the result of its incompetence.”

Categories
Uncategorized

Indiana school bus driver manages incredible four year streak of drinking on the job without getting caught and immediately fired

An unidentified northern Indiana bus driver made it an impressive four years of alcohol consumption on the job without so much as a whiff of booze on her breath from superiors or students – until it all ended with her termination by the Elkhart Community Schools district board in a Tuesday vote following an accusation from a student coupled with the discovery that she had been fired from the nearby Concord school district for the same offense back in 2021, the Elkhart Truth reports.

That job lasted exactly a month, from September 8 to October 8th, 2021. The woman was hired in Elkhart shortly thereafter. “I’m deeply disappointed that we missed the mark back then, but we won’t miss that again,” Elkhart Superintendent Larry Huff told parents. It’s not clear if Huff then changed the subject to furry kids using litter boxes or banning the Diary of Anne Frank for “explicit content.”

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

Cranky old asshole a little late on the “fact check” on ABC News

2 hours ago

Orange Ayatollah threatening to wipe Iran out again

3 hours ago

May 4th tradition of cringey desecration continues apace

4 hours ago

Supreme Court unblocks abortion drug availability

5 hours ago

Senate GOP members drafting war authorization act

6 hours ago

RonAnon threatens Americans with a good time

7 hours ago

Regime official says Trump getting bored, “wants action” in Strait

7 hours ago

Dems add eight seats to House target map

8 hours ago

“Trump Disappointment Syndrome”

9 hours ago

RUDY WATCH: Apparently still alive for now

10 hours ago

Fat idiot demands Hakeem Jeffries be impeached

21 hours ago

Zero dead after incompetent suicide bomber attacks Portland gym

22 hours ago

Todd Blanche claims he’s got other evidence on Comey, lol

1 day ago

Big Oil a big no on Trump commands to “Drill, Baby, Drill”

1 day ago

Orange King Lear hallucinates more spectres

2 days ago

Missouri Domino’s guy hits non-tipping customer with car

2 days ago

Oxycontin maker ODs on bankruptcy

2 days ago

President advertises his mastery at card game for first graders

2 days ago

Spirit Airlines officially shuts down

2 days ago

More than half of Daily Wire staff laid off

3 days ago

Orange Allah anoints McConnell successor

3 days ago

The Villages hosts their idiot: Live Video

3 days ago

Fourteen IRGC troops dead from an “explosion of bomb remnants”

3 days ago

Pew pollsters pew-pew presidential-proval

3 days ago

WATCH LIVE-ish: Grandpa rambles to reporters aimlessly

3 days ago

Camp Mystic not reopening this summer

3 days ago

The Spirit of ’26: WSJ reports airline dead after Trump rug pull

3 days ago

Self-backed into a corner, Buddy Carter blames gas prices on Dems

3 days ago

Louisiana Dem sues to block Landry gerrymander speedrun

3 days ago

Whistleblower says what you already guessed about SPLC case

3 days ago

“Lib terrorists did it” trending in unfurnished basements nationwide

3 days ago

Iranians digging into missile reserves more literally than you think

3 days ago

Kemp not trying to redraw Georgia map before November

3 days ago

RonAnon encourages fans to make their vote count in mentally ill colleague’s non-binding Twitter poll that bots can click yes on

3 days ago

Todd Blanche dusted off “8647” case to earn formal AG nod

3 days ago

FEMA rehires 14 signatories of “Katrina declaration”

3 days ago

Scott Jennings snaps “get your fucking hand out of my face”

4 days ago

DOGEcels exposed healthcare providers’ Social Security numbers

4 days ago

WATCH LIVE: Faithful disciples surround Orange Jesus with love

4 days ago

Stereotypical boomer hell bent on pulling the ladder up behind him

4 days ago

White collar criminal brimming with tiresome personal insecurities

4 days ago

Large animatronic dinosaur fire claims large animatronic dinosaur

4 days ago

Orange Felon pulls plug on shitbrained quack surgeon general pick

4 days ago

WATCH LIVE: Drunken Fox News washout suffers more indignities

4 days ago

Big Rotisserie subverts democracy

4 days ago

President declares the American people “angry” with “seriously unfunny” Jimmy Kimmel, stresses urgency for ABC to fire him

4 days ago

Maine Gov Janet Mills drops Senate campaign

4 days ago

Steve Scalise’s gas price narrative could use some work

4 days ago

Scientology rages at Xenu cultists “speedrunning” into sanctums

4 days ago

White House ballroom approval stuck at 28 percent: poll

4 days ago

x
x
x
x
x
x