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WATCH LIVE: Multiple simultaneous congressional hearings

Hey America, let’s look super busy and productive in DC by having no fewer than five simultaneous hearings. Please don’t look at it the other way in that these could be more spread out on the calendar if Congress was actually in town more often instead of days off for campaigning, attending fundraisers, vacations with lobbyists, hanging out at Mar-a-Lago, and other not actual work.

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Black woman bad, stupid: President of the United States

“How can the Democrats not like how the US Supreme Court votes. The Democrat Justices stick together like glue, NEVER failing to wander from the warped and perverse policies, ideas, and cases put before them. They ALWAYS vote as a group, or BLOCK, even that new, Low IQ person, that somehow found her way to the bench (Sleepy Joe!). The Republican Justices don’t stick together, they give the Democrats win after win, like a 159 Billion Dollar pile of cash on a completely ridiculous Tariff decision, and nasty, one sided questions on the country destroying subject of Birthright Citizenship, something which virtually NO OTHER COUNTRY IN THE WORLD IS STUPID ENOUGH TO ALLOW. It was meant for the babies of slaves, not for the babies of Chinese Billionaires.”

“No, certain ‘Republican’ Justices have just gone weak, stupid, and bad, completely violating what they ‘supposedly’ stood for. Handing over 159 Billion Dollars in Tariff refunds to people who have been Ripping Off our Country for years, is unexplainable. One little sentence would have stoped this record setting payment from having to be made. It is a travesty! Their Tariff decision was an unnecessary and expensive slap in the face to the USA, and a giant victory for its opponents.”

“If they rule against our Country on Birthright Citizenship, which they probably will, it will be even worse, if that’s possible. It will cost America massive amounts of money but, more importantly, it will cost America its DIGNITY! No, the Radical Left Democrats don’t need to ‘Pack the Court,’ it’s already Packed!” posted the man who would incarcerated the rest of his life if not for their help, crying over wounds to his bruised ego on issues that don’t otherwise affect him personally at all.

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Regime to nix report finding COVID vax safe, effective

Having been deemed flawed because its authors failed to reach the conclusion supporting MAGA pseudoscientific principles, a report by CDC researchers that found the COVID-19 vax to be safe, effective, and proven to reduce hospitalizations in those infected with the virus has been officially nuked by the agency and will not be published in its flagship journal, the Washington Post reports.

“The [CDC’s official circular Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report]’s editorial assessment identified concerns regarding the methodological approach to estimating vaccine effectiveness and the manuscript was not accepted for publication,” said Team Brainworms spokesman Andrew Nixon in a statement that had already been prebunked by the sources that leaked to the Post that the MMWR reviewers had, in fact, approved the findings and had slated it for the publication’s March 19 edition.

To be fair to Nixon though, the “concerns regarding the methodological approach” did at least nod at the truth – that the researchers had not properly worked backward from a conclusion such as that the COVID-19 vax turns human flesh into a ferromagnet on which you can stick silverware and paper clips. Or is responsive to 5G signals transmitted by Soros to infect you with the woke mind virus. Or whatever they wanted, so long as they wound up with something besides “safe and effective.”

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Virginia redistricting referendum passes

The Virginia ballot measure to amend the state constitution to override the independent state redistricting commission and nuke four of the five Republican-held congressional districts is projected to pass on Tuesday but not by an overwhelming margin one might have expected given the patterns of Dem overperformance in special/off-year elections, probably about 52 to 48 percent.

According to the New York Times the turnout in Fairfax County, the state’s most populous, dropped off by as much as 25 percent versus last year’s commanding gubernatorial election win for Abigail Spanberger. Still, a win is a win – provided there’s also a win at the state Supreme Court, which allowed the vote to proceed while the ruling is still pending – and as such a righteous fuck you to convicted felon President Trump’s now clearly ineffective attempt to gerrymander away a loss of the House GOP majority. From the perspective of last June, when the fat fuck first commanded Texas Republicans to steal five seats for him – he literally told that Joe Kernen dickbag on one of his rambling calls into CNBC that, since he “got the highest vote in the history of Texas” he’s “entitled to five more seats” – and from a national political media that maybe wasn’t wrong to expect Democrats to just take getting pissed on lying down, yeah. It really could have been determinative.

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President warns his actions could end up enriching Iran

“Iran doesn’t want the Strait of Hormuz closed, they want it open so they can make $500 Million Dollars a day (which is, therefore, what they are losing if it is closed!). They only say they want it closed because I have it totally BLOCKADED (CLOSED!), so they merely want to ‘save face.’ People approached me four days ago, saying, ‘Sir, Iran wants to open up the Strait, immediately.’ But if we do that, there can never be a Deal with Iran, unless we blow up the rest of their Country, their leaders included!” posted an addled President Trump on Tuesday. He forgot to mention the tears.

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SPLC hit with massive federal wire fraud and conspiracy indictment

Hardcore fascist Acting Attorney General Todd Blanche on Tuesday announced that the Southern Poverty Law Center has been hit with an indictment listing six counts of wire fraud, four counts of bank fraud, and one count of conspiracy to commit money laundering for the “crime” of using paid informants to gain intel on the Klan and other MAGA hate groups planning attacks on the SPLC.

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Regime withdraws Brennan subpoenas

In a development that’s only surprising in how quickly it came after MAGA conspiracy freak Joe DiGenova officially took over as lead prosecutor in the Q-brained “Grand Conspiracy” shitshow and maybe that it got leaked at all, MS Now reports that Team Orange on Monday night abruptly withdrew the subpoenas to former CIA Director John Brennan, which the liberal cable news network writes reveals “some confusion and disorder in the controversial Justice Department investigation.”

The withdrawal was DiGenova’s call but he was sold on it by prosecutors who said the team needed to pull FBI agents in to conduct interviews and overall just slow the pace despite the increasingly angry demands of the fat baby who so desperately craves revenge on some of his oldest grudges.

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Michael Jackson megafan takes his frustrations over new biopic’s terrible reviews out on lady who won’t take “Obama” for an answer

It’s no wonder Mike Lawler sounds like such a dick here. You would too if a new mega-budget biopic honoring the utterly vile pederast you worship got absolutely fucking destroyed by critics AND this woman who doesn’t want to talk about why the movie might actually be good keeps pestering you, won’t even let you whatabout the Iran war with Obama-Libya-Benghazi the same thing this or that.

Of course a grown adult in a high-stress profession can take some disappointment and a needling some pain in the ass newslady who libs no longer respect as much as they used to before they got to know and dislike her Fig Newton-brained weakling of a husband. It’s those things in quick succession, basically together, like right before Lawler went live he checked the Rotten Tomatoes page on his phone and saw that Michael is up to 33 percent on 79 reviews so it’s pretty much the ballgame, only to have her break his balls over the fat orange rapey idiot in the White House’s monumentally stupid reckless war that she knows full well he doesn’t actually support either then…

Well it’s enough to make a man want to snap and Moonwalk the fuck out of here.

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Florida Dem Congresswoman Sheila Cherfilus-McCormick resigns

Dem Florida Congresswoman Sheila Cherfilus-McCormick’s chief of staff tells NOTUS that the federal criminal defendant has resigned her seat effective at 1:30 PM on Tuesday, ditching an expected expulsion vote right off the heels of an Ethics Committee hearing that had damned her to a punishment not nearly as bad as the 54 years she faces in the joint. And probably not the Ghislaine Maxwell joint, since Cherfilus-McCormick can’t just tell Todd Blanche that Donald didn’t rape any sex trafficking victims but then he also ignores the part where she said Jeffrey Epstein didn’t rape any of them either which would obviously undermine the credibility of anything she says.

Yeah, Sheila Cherfilus-McCormick doesn’t have that option, so sucks for her.

What sucks for us is that the not-totally-unrealistic 2-for-1 scenario floated by some in which domestic abuser MAGA Congressman Cory Mills is forced out simultaneously the way Tony Gonzales and Eric Swalwell were. It doesn’t mean Mills cannot be forced out at all so much as Republicans are more incentivized to close ranks now that Cherf is headed home to face a jury.

Also lol if you think this seat is getting filled anytime before January 3rd, no way Gov Tiny D’s gonna move on that. Just ask Sheila herself, who won her seat in a special held eight months after Dem Congressman Alcee Hastings died in 2021. If Mills had gone too then it wouldn’t matter because he can’t just hold one special election but not the other… Probably… Maybe shouldn’t totally rule out that little weasel finding some loophole – or just doing that and running out the clock in court.

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Air Canada cuts NYC flights due to aviation fuel shortage

“As we regularly do, we monitor and review our network to ensure that routes are meeting profitability targets. Jet fuel prices have doubled since the start of the Iran conflict, affecting some lower profitability routes and flights which now are no longer economically feasible. Schedule adjustments including some frequency reductions are being made in response,” says a press release from Air Canada, listing “Salt Lake City-Toronto: temporary route suspension effective June 30, 2026, with plans to resume in 2027. JFK-Toronto: temporary suspension effective June 1, 2026, with plans to resume Oct 25, 2026 JFK-Montreal: temporary suspension effective June 1, 2026, with plans to resume Oct 25, 2026,” as mothballed along with “Fort McMurray-Vancouver: route suspended effective May 28, 2026. Yellowknife-Toronto: route suspended effective Aug 30, 2026.”

Damn, Trump really stuck it to those Canuckistanis. Should’ve self-annexed when they had the chance instead of – well – suffering economically more or less exactly the same way anyway.

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Georgia ACA enrollments drop by 550,000 after Big Beautiful cuts

Holy shit. This whole “enhanced Obamacare subsidies” thread faded into the background quite a bit since the Dems’ October-November Kobayashi Maru shutdown and all of convicted felon President Trump’s numerous other malefactions and harms inflicted upon Americans, but goddamn, to see it quantified like this by The CurrentGA/Georgia Recorder is staggering: Data they obtained show there are 550,000 fewer Peach State ACA enrollees in April 2026 than the 1.5 million in January 2025.

“I don’t know what we’re going to do, honestly” Monty Veazey, president of the Georgia Alliance of Community Hospitals, told the Current. “It’s a larger number than I anticipated,” he added of the monstrous enrollment drop that threatens an untold number of rural hospitals across the state.

“Anyone who’s saying that Medicaid cuts is why they’re closing is a liar,” said Curtis, Nebraska MAGAmerican April Roberts last July when the Washington Post asked her to comment on the then-imminent closure of the tiny town’s hospital. Despite being the wrong year, the wrong state, and the wrong specific government healthcare program it’s still a solid enough quote to use here in lieu of any similar ones from the Current’s reporting. Curtis’s hospital is indeed closed. Nobody saved it.

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SPLC under regime investigation for infiltrating MAGA hate groups

Formidable anti-white nationalist group the Southern Poverty Law Center’s CEO Bryan Fair on Tuesday announced that it appears the group is under a federal criminal investigation for using paid confidential informants to gain intel on the Klan and other MAGA hate groups. Fair framed the paid intel efforts – which they no longer practice but want to continue to keep the informants’ identities secret so they don’t face reprisals – as a defensive move so the SPLC could stay ahead of terrorist attacks against them, like a 1983 firebombing by an Idaho-based Neo-Nazi militia called The Order.

Now did any of the intel gathered end up in reports on the Hate Watch list? Hard to see why they would let it go to waste but even if they did, who the fuck cares? There’s no law against paying anyone for information about private organizations and yes there’s exceptions to that general principle, but they won’t apply until the Wall Street Journal starts adding KKK: NYSE $0.53🔺 to their articles. Then maybe the Trump Reich’s investigation into the SPLC will be legitimate.

If any Trump klanboys want to step up and identify what statute SPLC violated then let’s hear it.

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President continues reversal on material state of “nuclear dust”

“Never allow the Traitor Democrats like Low IQ person Hakeem Jeffries, or Cryin’ Chuck Schumer, or the totally corrupt Fake News Media such as the phony and decaying Wall Street Journal, the Failing New York Times (Subscriptions way down!), or dying ’60 Minutes,’ to demean or criticize Operation Midnight Hammer, which totally obliterated the Nuclear Dust locations to the point where bloodthirsty Iran has been unable to get to it, or dig it out. Space Force has cameras on every inch of the 3 sites that were so brilliantly hit last June!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Tuesday after he got done with his overlong and ultimately meaningless on-air call to CNBC.

The message was consistent with his position that the “nuclear dust” no longer exists and/or is otherwise irrecoverable from some sort of hypothetical operation in which US military hazmat crews would be permitted on site to… Why even waste time on this shit it was never going to happen anyway, lol… Anyway the position changed late Monday night after previous yes nuclear dust posts.

Another reversal in the post was the bitching specific to the media as Trump is no longer claiming that “Rumor is that the Failing New York Times and Fake News CNN will be firing the reporters who made up the FAKE stories on the Iran Nuclear sites because they got it so wrong. Lets see what happens?” as he did after his first attack on Iran last summer because neither outlet fired anyone.

There’s also the larger, ongoing reversals over the state of Iran’s nuclear weapons program in general because that changes depending on whatever the fuck he feels like saying about it.

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Trump declares he would have won Vietnam War “very quickly”

Too bad about the bone spurs though. To think that horrible condition was the only thing holding him back from jumping out of a plane over Ho Chi Mihn City with just an M-16 rifle, an M1911 pistol, and a few grenades, and personally taking out the NVA command like it he was playing Call of Duty: Black Ops on the Xbox 360 and was showing the kids how it’s done… America’s worst defeat could’ve been its greatest victory if it wasn’t for that dickhead doctor stopping Trump from serving.

Ahem. Yes he did say “if I were president,” meaning he would’ve secured the victory that Lyndon Johnson and Richard Nixon – both of whom were significantly more intelligent, mentally stable, and capable of paying attention than their embarrassment of an eventual successor – could not.

Trump also told CNBC he would’ve won the Iraq War. America did win the Iraq War. Not cleanly, no. Not even close. But to say the US lost it like Vietnam is simply some pretty lazy bullshit.

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Dersh joins party less judgmental about his lifestyle choices

“I am a lifelong Democrat. I started campaigning for the party’s local candidates as a teenager in Brooklyn, NY, have been a registered Democrat for 67 years, made speeches for John F Kennedy as a college student, and can count on one hand the number of Republicans I’ve ever supported for any office. I still disagree strongly with the GOP on abortion, the separation of church and state, immigration, healthcare and taxes, among other things. Yet I’ve decided to bite the bullet and register as a Republican. The Democratic Party has become the most anti-Israel party in US history.”

“Last week all but seven Senate Democrats voted for an arms embargo against the Jewish state, and an avowed enemy of Israel, Abdul El-Sayed, is gaining ground in the Democratic campaign for US senator from Michigan,” and blah blah blah says Jeffrey Epstein pal Alan Dershowitz in a grating “I didn’t leave the Democrats, the Democrats left me” op-ed the Wall Street Journal printed.

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