Republican Texas Senator John Cornhole on Thursday responded to the New York Times’s reporting that far right Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito has flown not one but two pro-insurrection flags outside of his homes in recent years by hinting it was Alito’s wife’s fault again, somehow (think they’re still fine-tuning the excuse for the second one), saying that the justices “have personal lives, they have families. I don’t they’re necessarily responsible for everything their families do or say.”

Actually Cornyn said verbatim “judges on the Supreme Court” not “justices.” Other judges are responsible for everything their families do or say according to other Republicans in Congress, like JD Vance, Elise Stefanik, Mike Johnson, and others who think Manhattan Judge Juan Merchan is responsible (or really irrevocably compromised) for his daughter being a Dem political consultant.

New York State Comptroller Thomas DiNapoli announced Thursday that New York City’s record-breaking $4.9 billion 2023 tax revenue haul was fueled by an influx of tourism, 62.2 million nearly recovered to 2019’s pre-pandemic level at 66.6 million, Bloomberg reports on a city decidedly not overrun with crime and disease and economic disaster because of Trump’s indictment.

“The industry’s full recovery won’t be complete until we see a full return of international and business travelers,” said DiNapoli. “Our city and state leaders need to focus on keeping New York a desirable and safe destination for individuals and families from around the world.”

A California man’s curiosity over a mysterious gift received in the mail last week turned to anger when he opened it to find a live rattlesnake, USA Today reports on the ungrateful bastard.

Someone went through all the trouble to mail 60 year-old Elijah Bowles one of the coolest types of snakes and not only is Bowles refusing to say thanks, he’s calling it “attempted murder.” Bowles says he and a friend went to pick up the package at the Twentynine Palms USPS office before opening it in the car to find the two foot-long snake and some cotton balls Bowles claims were planted there to muffle the sound of hissing and rattling. The package’s return address on the box said Palm Coast, Florida, but the postmark indicated that it was mailed from Hayward, California on May 3rd.

Either way Bowles, didn’t speculate as to who would’ve mailed him a new reptile friend – which the anti-snakeite isn’t keeping and gave to the San Bernardino County Animal Control service.

https://t.co/f8reToCkPR pic.twitter.com/F5aIjoHqE8

— Eric Trump (@EricTrump) May 23, 2024

Hard to see how this doesn’t end with a shit ton of MAGA voters not from the Bronx complaining that their cars got broken into or stolen when they parked on the streets surrounding the venue, leading them to reaffirm their support for Trump as only he can stop that from happening to them again.

Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito still hasn’t figured out how to blame his wife for the second “Stop the Steal”-adjacent flag flown over one of his homes and thus “has not responded to requests for comment about this flag,” CBS News Washington correspondent Scott MacFarlane reports.

THEY’VE TAKEN AWAY HIS RIGHT TO FREE SPEECH! THIS IS A THIRD WORLD COUNTRY! ZAMBIA, SPECIFICALLY! The BBC reports former President Edgar Lungu has said that he was “practically under house arrest”, accusing cops of a plot to detain him “for no reason.” Lungu, who left office in 2021, has indeed been “summoned” by National Police Inspector General Graphael Musamba over recent comments hinting that there could be a change in the government before the next election in 2026. Lungu’s pension was revoked last October after he came out of retirement and announced a return to politics – that may or may not have been spurred by former First Lady Esther being accused of corruption involving petty scams like theft of motor vehicles and title deeds.

“I have not committed any crime that would warrant the government, through the police, to start scheming against me in this manner,” Lungu said, adding that cops tried to “ambush me at night, abduct, embarrass, and forcefully detain me like a hardcore criminal.” Sounds kind of familiar.

An estimate of the situation surrounding House Speaker Mike Johnson’s stupid push to ban non-citizens from voting in federal elections by Politico Playbook sees two sides to the story: One is that, on paper, any policy to prohibit it is popular across the spectrum, whether or not polling respondents understand that it is in fact already illegal for non-citizens to vote in federal elections and the number of cases of it over the past few decades is vanishingly small. So they may be able to squeeze some of the front-line Dems into voting yes. It’s also a smart play to pair the vote with one on a bill restricting DC’s law allowing non-citizens to vote in local elections, purposely conflating the two completely separate issues. Cynical too, but take that for granted with the GOP.

On the other hand, it kind of flies in the face of the GOP’s overall article of faith that the federal government and Congress have no role in how states are supposed to run elections. Which is what “moderate” Republican Nebraska Congressman Don Bacon told Playbook that “generally, elections are state-by-state decisions” and he’ll “have to wrestle with that one” (probably bullshit).

“We should also note here that even some Republicans aren’t so sure about Johnson’s play call on the nationwide voting bill. Some feel the speaker jumped the gun to try to curry favor with Trump to save his gavel without ensuring they have the votes to pass it,” Playbook writes, hinting that the “principle” of state administration over elections is actually a thing. What obviously isn’t however is any pretense of sincerity that the bill will actually be taken up by the Dem majority Senate and signed, or that even the messaging behind it even makes sense. It’s simply Johnson trying to assuage fat former President Trump’s delusional horseshit about illegal aliens voting.

And behold, Dagon had fallen on his face to the ground.https://t.co/1tS4sP226B

— Breitbart News (@BreitbartNews) May 23, 2024

“Evan Gershkovich, the Reporter from The Wall Street Journal, who is being held by Russia, will be released almost immediately after the Election, but definitely before I assume Office. He will be HOME, SAFE, AND WITH HIS FAMILY. Vladimir Putin, President of Russia, will do that for me, but not for anyone else, and WE WILL BE PAYING NOTHING,” writes disgraced former President Trump on Truth Social, possibly giving away more than he intended about a secret hostage release deal with Russian dictator Vladimir Putin similar to the one not-yet President Ronald Reagan reportedly pulled off with the Iranians to get the US Embassy hostages released before the 1980 election. Meaning Gershkovich is going to stay in a Russian jail longer than he has to if it helps Trump return to power.

The fat fuck also posted that the “Corruption of our Justice System has to be put to an end, and those responsible, including Crooked Joe Biden and those controlling him, have to be held to account,” again contradicting his position in court on “presidential immunity.” Donald also appeared to concede that he wasn’t actually in danger when the FBI raided Mar-a-Lago (which of course is the actual reality of it), but instead tried to hint that the Secret Service detail present could’ve been in a gunfight with agents. Also in the “Truth”-ing binge the Orange Slob posted “the Democrats have pushed Misinformation, AND FAILED. It’s the only thing they’re good at – EVERYTHING ELSE THEY’RE INVOLVED IN IS DESTROYING AMERICA!” with a clip of some Newsmax asshole talking about the “Unified Reich” video. Not sure how badly they “FAILED” when Trump took down the video after his campaign tried to blame it on an intern. Think that’s actually sort of a win for the Dems.

A panel of four people released Apple’s definitive list of the best albums of all time, with The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill taking the ultimate spot, besting Beyonce’s Lemonade, Stevie Wonder’s Songs in the Key of Life, and The Beatles’ Abbey Road, which all made the Top 10.  Michael Jackson’s Thriller took the runner-up spot.

Lauryn Hill, who got a mention in a RtF last month, wrote and recorded tracks detailing themes in her life at the time such as her pregnancy, being a new mother, and the difficulties with her bandmates in the Fugees.  Using a mix of musical styles, the album was an immediate critical success.

The first shipments of aid unloaded at a US-built pier in Gaza reached civilians on Wednesday, United Nations officials reported, after some high-energy biscuits that were unloaded Friday were delivered to local camps, the Associated Press reports.

A total of 41 truckloads have been unloaded so far in the first shipment on the MV Sagamore, which has returned to Cyprus to reload.  The goal is to unload 150 truckloads of aid daily at the pier, which will account for a small but significant portion of the 600 truckloads humanitarian officials say is needed in Gaza.

NASA announced the first launch of a manned mission aboard a Boeing Starliner will be delayed again thanks to a persistent helium leak technicians have not been able to stop, the Washington Post reports, setting the next potential date for June 1st at 12:25 p.m. ET.

It’s the fifth delay for the mission which is supposed to deliver NASA astronauts Sunita Williams and Barry “Butch” Wilmore to the International Space Station.  Williams and Wilmore also should be worried because Boeing is going through another safety crisis:  300 of the company’s 777-series aircraft are under review after the FAA noted an electrical issue could spark static electricity in the fuel tanks, causing a fatal boom, per the Daily Mail.

New York Democratic Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio Cortez explains how events unfolded after the clown show occurred in the House Oversight Committee hearing last week after members of the committee returned from Manhattan, where they cheered on adjudicated rapist Donald Trump in his criminal election fraud trial.  Reports describe their demeanor as that of a college party and Democrats speculated that their Republican colleagues were drunk off their asses.  After AOC’s motion to take down the words of Sister Sarah’s missing mule, Marjorie Taylor Greene, insulting Texas Democrat Jasmine Crockett, Republicans on the panel voted to keep the comment.  Klassy, Republicans.

After the first case of transfer from bovine to human was identified in Texas in April, a second patient who contracted bird flu from a cattle herd was identified in Michigan earlier this month, ABC News reports.  The patient has since recovered after reporting red eyes as the only symptom he experienced.

It’s the second case of human bird flu infection occurring in the United States during the “Biden pandemic” you’ll see in a future Fox cable chyron.  It’s the third case of bird flu infection ever recorded in the US:  in 2022, a worker at a Colorado poultry farm got infected while assisting with “depopulating” infected poultry.

They were authorized to shoot Joe Biden! He nearly narrowly escaped death! Fox News White House correspondent Jacqui Heinrich reports that a “person familiar” with Robert Hur’s investigation confirmed that BIDEN’S DOJ WAS AUTHORIZED TO SHOOTBIDEN! It’s just been revealed that Biden’s DOJ was authorized to use DEADLY FORCE for their DESPICABLE raids on his homes in Wilmington and Rehoboth Beach, Delaware. You know they’re just itching to do the unthinkable. Joe Biden was locked and loaded ready to take himself out and put his family in danger. Biden thinks he can frighten Biden, intimidate Biden, and KNOCK BIDEN DOWN! But worst of all? BIDEN thinks his THUG TACTICS will cause proud supporters like YOU to abandon him! 25TH AMENDMENT!

Ahem. Seriously there’s no reason to doubt this, even though technically there wasn’t a warrant because Biden authorized the searches of his homes. No doubt it was in effect for Mike Pence too.

The Department of Justice will announce an antitrust lawsuit against Live Nation, Ticketmasters parent company that also owns venues and promotes artists’ tours, the Washington Post reports, another step in President Biden’s war against inflated consumer prices and junk fees.

Founded in 2010, Live Nation had total revenues of $22.7 billion in 2023, and its annual report stated it controlled more than 330 venues worldwide, including 150 in North America.  Competing ticketing agents and promoters have frequently complained about limited access to or being charges excessive fees for booking Live Nation venues.  Consumers experienced the impact of the monopoly thanks to ticket fees for some concerts that can run to $25 or higher for some venues and acts.

During a Q&A after a speech at a DC think tank, zombie candidate and flip flopper Nikki Haley declared that she would vote for Donald Trump, the man she declared “unhinged” and “not fit to be President of the United States,” ABC News reports.

Asserting without evidence, “Biden has been a disaster,” Haley said, “Trump has not been perfect on these policies” relating to freedom and capitalism; Haley didn’t mention Trump’s attacks on democracy and the American Constitution.  “So I will be voting for Trump.”

Creepy white collar criminal Senator Rick Scott on Wednesday announced a second campaign to fail at winning the number one spot in the chamber’s GOP conference, Axios reports on the coming three-way titanic battle between Scott and dickheads John Thune and John Cornhole Cornyn.

The New York Times reports that the Alito’s family vacation home in Long Beach Island, New Jersey flying the “Appeal to Heaven” flag, a banner favored by election deniers, as late as September 2023.  Neighbors to the beach home told reporters the flag was definitely flying in July 2023 and in September 2023, with at least three photos confirming it.  The photo above, taken from Google’s Streetview of the area and posted by the Times, shows the flag at the address in August 2023.

This undermines Justice Samuel Alito’s claims that the anti-democracy symbols flown at his homes were created by his wife as a one-time response to a “Fuck Trump” sign in front of a Virginia neighbor’s home.

A far right Salt Lake City car dealer’s political ambitions were halted violently and abruptly by the business end of Congolese government security force’s service rifles in the Democratic Republic of the Congo on Sunday, the Washington Examiner reports in an absolutely batshit story.

Starting from the top: 41 year-old Congolese-American Christian Malanga had arrived in Salt Lake City in the late 1990s, gained his citizenship, moved back to the DRC to join the military but returned to Utah in 2011 and started a car dealership, and became what the Examiner calls “a vocal supporter of former President Donald Trump.” Malanga founded a group he called the “New Zaire Movement” and last weekend gave it a go, assembling his son, two white American guys – one of them identified as a 36 year-old Maryland-based cannabis entrepreneur named Benjamin Reuben Zalman-Polun, and about 50 local bravos to storm the Palace of the People, the adminsitrative office of President Felix Tshisekedi at 4 AM Kinshasa time on Sunday, streaming the whole thing on Facebook.

Tshisekedi wasn’t in the building given the early hour and the fact that it’s mostly used for ceremonial purposes. Still, coups are successful in West Africa all the time – if you know what you’re doing. Malanga apparently didn’t, and government troops, authorized for the use of deadly force, used it, blasting Malanga in the palace. His son and Zalman-Poulon were arrested shortly after as they tried to jump into a boat to flee across the Congo River to Brazzaville, the neighboring capital of the Republic of the Congo (different country, but their capitals are across the river from each other).