February 2024 – White House puts out Executive Order to boost cybersecurity at US shipping ports

March 2024 – giant ship loses power twice, aims directly at bridge, destroys bridge, and closes down 10th busiest US port for months

I’m sure it’s just a coincidence https://t.co/Lv4cgaPfUo

— DC_Draino (@DC_Draino) March 27, 2024

On Tuesday this assclown – real name Rogan O’Handley – retweeted a report from The Floridian that said he’s interested in a primary bid against Sunshine State Congresswoman Laurel Lee, who fat former President Trump recently singled out for punishment for the crime of having endorsed Ron DeSantis in the primary… before she switched to Trump after Tiny D dropped out.

Mustachioed 2020 election conspiracy theorist Mike Lindell’s pillow company is facing eviction from a Minnesota warehouse whose landlord on Tuesday told a judge they’re owed $217,000 in rent after the former crackhead’s empire continues to crumble, the Minneapolis Star-Tribune reports.

“MyPillow has more or less vacated but we’d like to do this by the book. At this point there’s a representation that no further payment is going to be made under this lease, so we’d like to go ahead with finding a new tenant,” said First Industrial LP attorney Sara Filo in a hearing in Scott County eviction court Tuesday. Chief Judge Caroline Lennon said it’s just a matter of paperwork and she’ll sign off soon. Hopefully Dominion Voting Systems is in need of new facilities.

Brazil’s Supreme Court on Tuesday gave disgraced and indicted former President Jair Bolsonaro a deadline of Wednesday to explain why the fuck he spent two nights at Hungary’s embassy in Brasilia last month – right after his passport had been seized – in what looked like a bid to claim asylum in his buddy dictator Viktor Orban’s country, Reuters reports. It’s not clear what will happen if Bolsonaro confesses or fails to come up with a satisfying enough explanation to what was otherwise pretty goddamned obvious – which is to say we don’t know if he gets tossed in jail immediately.

Bolsonaro hadn’t been indicted yet at the time so we don’t know what Brazilian law says about retroactively detaining someone for attempting to flee when they were merely a flight risk.

“If I knew Ronna was going to troubled MSNBC, I would have advised her to change her name back to Romney, she would have had a better chance!” wrote fat former President Trump after midnight Wednesdat after a long, stupid rant, admitting he ordered Ronna to change her name years ago.

Later the Orange Slob congratulated himself on his rigged golf games again, posting “Such a tremendous honor to receive the Club Championship Trophy at Trump International Golf Club from the great Jack Nicklaus, a fantastic man and champion. It was a wonderful evening for all!”

Weeks after he stated Donald Trump displayed brilliant political savvy for marketing a pair of sneakers to attract Black voters “because they love sneakers,” Fox’s flamboyant faithful family man Raymond Arroyo has been missing from his typical slots on Laura Ingraham’s shots, the Daily Beast reports.

Appearing on Fox’s overestimated The Big Weekend Show after Trump debuted his gaudy gold sneakers in mid-Febuary (at a SneakerCon in Philadelphia after appearing in a New York courtroom because he’s the kind of person the GOP thinks should be president), Arroyo, who is as white as cream cheese spread, was very excited about how it would impact Trump’s political prospects: “This is connecting with Black America because they love sneakers!  They’re into sneakers… this is a big deal, certainly in the inner city. So when you have Trump roll out his sneaker line, they’re like, ‘Wait a minute, this is cool!’

Prospective employees of the Republican National Committee–now under the control of Donald Trump’s handpicked team including his wannabe pop star daughter-in-law–are being asked in interviews if they feel the 2020 election was stolen from the former president, the Washington Post reports, because there can be no dissent in the ranks.

“Candidates who worked on the front line in battleground states or are currently in states where fraud allegations have been prevalent were asked about their work experience,” RNC and Trump spokeswoman Danielle Alvarez said in a statement. “We want experienced staff with meaningful views on how elections are won and lost and real experience-based opinions about what happens in the trenches.”

Most of the interviews are done online because the prospective employees are located in states targeted by the campaign, and a number of the interviewees have been members of GOP campaigns–including previous Trump campaigns.  “But if you say the election wasn’t stolen, do you really think you’re going to get hired?” one former RNC employee commented.

An Alabama Democrat who made reproductive rights the focus of her campaign in a state where the state supreme court earlier this year ruled that fetuses have personhood under law won the special election for state house seat, CNN reports.

The election was seen as a test ground for the campaigns’ messaging, with Democrat Marilyn Lands focusing on access to safe reproductive care including abortion and birth control, as well as a stance on fetal personhood that would not ban IVF treatment.  Her Republican opponent in the 10th District race, middle-aged white man Madison City Councilman Teddy Powell, stressed his connections to the community and commitment to local projects.  He brought a spoon to a civil rights fight.

“Not talkin’ ’bout the disaster at the border.  He’s not talkin’ about the disaster about law and order and safety and security in towns and cities all across the country.  He’s not talking about the struggling economy, the 60% of our fellow Americans who are living paycheck-to-paycheck, many Americans putting their bare necessities on their credit cards, that’s the only way they can make it every month,” gaslighting Trump advisor using his airtime to give free propaganda to the Trump campaign Sean Hannity says before he goes on to reinforce the false narrative by literally making something up about Biden not noticing Vice President Kamala Harris had been on stage.

But there’s a reason Biden didn’t address those thing in the public appearance Hannity highlighted:  it was a rally about healthcare coverage.  And Hannity wouldn’t like it if Biden talked about facts, like the growing economy and lowering crime.

The US Coast Guard called off the search and rescue effort for the six migrant workers missing after a cargo ship hit the Key Bridge in Baltimore, causing it to collapse into the Patapsco River, the New York Times reports.  A recovery effort, including divers from the state police, will begin in the morning.

The six men, all in their 30s and 40s, were migrants from El Salvador, Guatemala, Honduras and Mexico working for a state contractor to fill potholes on the bridge.  Normal traffic on the bridge had largely been stopped after the captain of the Dali radioed a Mayday announcing the ship had lost power and was drifting toward the bridge support.

Missouri Senator Eric Schmitt on Tuesday said it’s fine that lots of MAGA dipshits believe whatever the hell they want to believe about the Baltimore bridge disaster because – and this is actually what he said – “this is an administration that weaponized the Department of Justice, tried to throw political opponents in jail, tried to throw him off the ballot, vast censorship enterprise to silence Americans who don’t buy into their narrative [about COVID bullshit], or the Hunter Biden laptop… I mean time and time again, Laura, these folks have viewed half the country as the enemy.”

Kari Lake has conceded in the defamation suit filed against her by a Maricopa County official who claimed Lake spread false information about him as part of a conspiracy regarding the 2022 election for Arizona Governor she lost, the Arizona Republic reports.

Lake filed a motion seeking a default judgment for Maricopa County Recorder Stephen Richer in part because she would have been forced to turn over information in discovery that would have worked against her defense in trial.  It also would not have helped her latest political grift, her campaign for a US Senate seat.

MSNBC Executive Producer Kyle Griffin reports that NBC News announced it will no longer retain former RNC Chair Ronna Romney McDaniel as a contributor for the network after backlash from the network’s journalists and viewers made it clear she retains significant credibility issues and stinks of Trump.

Disgraced former President Trump is receiving royalties from sales of the $59.99 “God Bless The USA Bible” he’s now hawking with country star Lee Greenwood, the New York Times reports

Texas MAGA Congressman Troy Nehls, a total cocksucker who has admitted repeatedly that he wanted Joe Biden to be impeached to help reelect fat former President Trump, confirmed in a statement Tuesday that he’s under investigation from the House Ethics Committee for some campaign finance scam.

Manhattan Judge Juan Merchan on Tuesday granted a request from DA Alvin Bragg’s office to slap disgraced former President Trump with a gag order ahead of his criminal trial on charges he paid pornstar Stormy Daniels $130,000 to stay quiet about their 45-second sexual encounter.

“ORDERED, that the People’s motion for a restriction on extrajudicial statements by the Defendant is GRANTED to the extent that Defendant is directed to refrain from the following: a. Making or directing others to make public statements about known or reasonably foreseeable witnesses concerning their potential participation in the investigation or in this criminal proceeding, b. Making or directing others to make public statements about (1) counsel in the case other than the District Attorney, (2) members of the court’s staff and the District Attorney’s staff, or (3) the family members of any counsel or staff member, if those statements are made with the intent to materially interfere with, or to cause others to materially interfere with, counsel’s or staff’s work in this criminal case, or with the knowledge that such interference is likely to result; and c. Making or directing others to make public statements about any prospective juror or any juror in this criminal proceeding. The foregoing constitutes the Decision and Order of the Court,” Merchan wrote in the order.

It’s not clear if Merchan was going to do it anyway (he probably was) but that it comes just hours after the fat fuck started in with the judge’s daughter certainly could not have helped.

Trump himself may not be aware yet, as just after the order dropped he posted “I’m not running to terminate the ACA, AS CROOKED JOE BUDEN DISINFORMATES AND MISINFORMATES ALL THE TIME, I’m running to CLOSE THE BORDER, STOP INFLATION, MAKE OUR ECONOMY GREAT, STRENGTHEN OUR MILITARY, AND” a whole bunch of other angry, all-caps bullshit.

“As officers and directors of CPAC, we are pleased to learn about the favorable conclusion of the litigation against CPAC and Matt Schlapp. The Board of Directors stands squarely behind Matt Schlapp as the leader of this organization. The left-wing media did not, of course, wait for the facts to come out and instead launched a character assassination campaign to destroy CPAC, Matt, and his family. CPAC is more resilient now than ever before, despite the constant rush to judgement and attacks from the left. CPAC’s financial position is also at a historic level of strength. Our team is focused, and morale is high. And our supporters remain exceptionally engaged, as evidenced by a sold-out conference just a month ago and meteoric rise in social media engagement.”

“With strong leadership and an engaged Board of Directors dedicated to taking back our country and returning America to her glory days, CPAC continues to be the vanguard of the conservative movement. We will use our resources to advance conservatism, but also to hold accountable so-called journalists who spread false stories to inflict harm on conservatives, their families, and their livelihoods,” writes the CPAC board, spiking the football on all the libs after they paid out God knows how much money to a man who credibly accused Schlapp of sexual assault.

Right before the far-right-wing propaganda cable station and site NewsMax made a push to dethrone its competition at Fox after the latter dared to report the true outcome of the 2020 election, it accepted a $50 million cash investment from a Qatari billionaire, enough to keep the then-struggling operation solvent, the Washington Post reports.  At the time of the investment, the market value of Newsmax was estimated to be between $100-200 million.

At the time of the purchase, Qatar faced embargo from many of its Middle Eastern neighbors for allegedly supporting terror groups throughout the region.  In various transactions in 2019 and 2020, Sheikh Sultan bin Jassim Al Thani used a London-based investment fund to finance the deal and after takeover, allegedly directed the network to broadcast more Qatari-friendly reports, perhaps in an attempt to sway the opinion of then-Oval Office occupant Donald Trump, who sided with those organizing the boycott.

NBC News executives are working on how to frame their announcement that former RNC Chairwoman Ronna Not-Romney’s four days with the network are coming to an end, Puck’s Dylan Byers reports, adding that McRomney is “seeking legal representation” already.

Various public figures and ordinary assholes alike across MAGA world on Tuesday struggled to figure out who and what to blame for the horrible accident that destroyed the Francis Scott Key bridge in Baltimore Harbor this early this morning. Here’s some of their initial brainstorming:

Nancy Mace said President Biden’s $1.2 trillion 2021 infrastructure bill is to blame because it was something something Green New Deal and not actual transportation projects. Sounds like bullshit.