Russian dictator Vladimir Putin on Saturday addressed his country in the aftermath of the deadly ISIS attack on the Crocus City Hall luxury mall and concert venue on Friday, claiming that four terrorists had been attempting to flee toward Ukraine when they were arrested, Sky News reports.

“All four direct perpetrators of the terrorist attack, all those who shot and killed people, were found and detained,” said Putin. “They tried to hide and moved towards Ukraine, where, according to preliminary data, a window was prepared for them on the Ukrainian side to cross the state border.”

At least 115 are dead, among them three children in the shooting and arson attack that ISIS have allegedly claimed responsibility for. The fires are still burning, CNN reports separately.

• Democrats openly mocking Comer and Jordan for the failed impeachment effort are the kind of hearings that make me hopeful the Party can and will use Republicans’ gross incompetence as an effective weapon this Congressional election season.  It’s not like Republicans haven’t been giving them ammunition for more than a year.
• Donald Trump’s drag persona:  Anita Bond.
• Including the latest round, President Biden has forgiven more than $140 billion in loans from four million people.  That’s a move that can positively impact three generations of a single family, and those are the impacts that echo in the ballot box.  
• All I have to do is look at the collection of hand sanitizer and cloth masks we have to know that no, we definitely weren’t better off four years ago.
  Read More ▶ “Random thoughts Friday, Volume CLXV”

Republican Wyoming Governor Mark Gordon vetoed a bill that significantly restricted access to abortion services in the state, but later signed a ban on gender-affirming care for minors, NBC News reports.  Gordon said his reason for vetoing the abortion bill was not that he objected to the effort to more strictly regulate clinics as surgical centers or the bills other restrictions; he said amendments added to it by legislators make the bill more susceptible to court challenged, and he wanted a clean bill to sign.

US intelligence officials warned their counterparts in Russia of an imminent terrorist attack being planned for Moscow earlier this month, but in a public address earlier this week, Russian President Vladimir Putin called the notification “provocative” and dismissed it as an attempt to sow distrust, the Wall Street Journal reports.

Putin said the notification “resembles outright blackmail and an intention to intimidate and destabilize our society.”  But US officials took it seriously enough to issue a specific warning through the American embassy in Moscow to American citizens.  In a “security alert” posted on March 7th, the embassy said it was “monitoring reports that extremists have imminent plans to target large gatherings in Moscow, to include concerts, and U.S. citizens should be advised to avoid large gatherings over the next 48 hours.”

California state legislator Vince Fong and Tulare County Sheriff Mike Boudreaux will face off in a May 21st runoff to fill the House seat left vacant by the retirement of ousted House Speaker Kevin McCarthy, Politico reports.

McCarthy’s hand-picked successor, Fong is widely seen as the favorite after he took 41% of the vote to win the jungle runoff held March 5th.  Boudreaux, however, is likely to get the endorsement of Donald Trump because Trump hates McCarthy.

We can’t believe we’re going to say this, but we, the editorial staff of National Zero, stand with Marc Thei –belch.  We stand with Marc Thei –wretch.  WE STAND WITH MARC THEISSEN. Yes, he got one right–the only one we stand with him on–when he said on Fox’s cable propaganda network (with exclusive online digital content), “God help us.  The House Republican Majority is a dysfunctional embarrassment.”  We’ve been saying it for years.  Glad Theissen’s finally seen the light.

After with Ray Epps, the January 6th insurrectionist Daniel Donnelly Jr.–an unofficial mascot of the St. Louis Cardinals baseball team now known as Rally Runner–was the second-best focus of Tucker Carlson’s attempt to blame the Deep State for the Republican-led attack on Congress.  But according to NBC News, Runner pleaded guilty to a single count of civil disorder, a charge that carries up to five years in prison and a $250,000 fine.

Runner was the focus of numerous segments on Carlson’s program, pushing that he was an FBI plant because Runner is seen in videos standing in an entryway of the building Wearing red face paint as he does for Cardinals home games, urging others to push against the wall of police blocking the way.

“Who is this person? Why hasn’t he been charged? That’s a very simple ask,” Carlson said on his show in December 2021.  Nearly 1,000 insurrectionists have either pleaded guilty or been found guilty since prosecutions for the attack began.

White House blames Republicans, Texas Gov. Abbott, after migrants attack Guard members, storm border https://t.co/VVZUCABNM1

— Fox News (@FoxNews) March 22, 2024

“Islamic State fighters attacked a large gathering of Christians in the city of Krasnogorsk on the outskirts of the Russian capital, Moscow, killing and wounding hundreds and causing great destruction to the place before they withdrew to their bases safely” says a statement translated from Arabic picked up by Visegrad 24, a reliable-ish pro-Ukrainian Twitter newsfeed.

What’s semi-plausible about the claim is that ISIS has been more aggressive ever since Trump didn’t defeat them in four weeks, and that bombing of the memorial for the Iranian Revolutionary Guard General Qassem Soleimani back in January. Whatever the Kremlin could gain by staging an attack on their own people and making up a claim that it was ISIS is not clear – or at least not clear relative to if they had faked a statement from some pro-Ukrainian partisans. So maybe it really was ISIS.

Before their leadership sold out the Kremlin the Chechens were in a long guerrilla war against Moscow, but they were not the only group. Countries with significant Muslim minorities spanning literally all the way from Nigeria to the Philippines have been home to ISIS franchisees for more than a decade, no reason to think Russia is any different in that respect. On the flip side there’s strong evidence that Putin engineered a number of late 1990s-early 2000s attacks on Russians. Who better to assign the blame to than the guys who already had a history of conflict with Moscow?

This terrorist attack in Moscow was a disgrace and Russia has every right to defend itself with overwhelming force. Sadly, American taxpayer dollars probably helped fund these attacks, which many reports are saying came from the Biden Administration. President Trump brought so much peace to the former Soviet Union through his negotiating skills and intelligence, only to see Biden whittle it away at a far more rapid pace than anyone thought possible. Here we go again.

As many as 200 Russian civilians are dead while Biden’s eating ice cream and getting ready to sign a uniparty swamp bill dropped in the middle of the night – none of which contains any money to help defend our important ally Russia from terror attacks like this. The simple fact is this never would have happened if you didn’t have a stolen election through just massive fraud. Why isn’t crooked Trump-hater Judge Engoron and his boss, New York Attorney General Fani Willis, going after Joe Biden for allowing this bloodbath to happen to Moscow? The world is going to hell on his watch.

These terrorist thugs knew they could get away with it because Biden has no guts and is weak. He doesn’t even know where he is most of the time. And a lot of people are saying he secretly paid for this attack on Russia. The Injustice Department and Deranged Jack Smith are interfering in the election by not looking very strongly at Hunter for this horrible massacre. Where’s Hunter?

Joe Biden’s ineptitude, weakness, and incompetence has led to this awful bloodbath in Russia, and it will only get worse. THE HORRIBLE ATTACK, MUCH LIKE THE ATTACK ON GAZA, WOULD NEVER HAVE HAPPENED IF TRUMP WERE PRESIDENT – ZERO CHANCE! MAKE MOSCOW SAFE AGAIN!

National Zero will resume our regular coverage after providing our right wing readers with the talking points they need to win the internet. And yes we plagiarized and mad-libbed much of it.

🚨Announcement🚨

After today’s embarrassing showing in the house I have reflected and decided that I can no longer be part of the Republican Party…

The Republican Party continues to lie and swindle its voter base. I in good conscience cannot affiliate myself with a party that…

— George Santos (@MrSantosNY) March 22, 2024

After the cutoff Santos announced that he’s now running as an independent in New York’s 1st District, probably because he had zero chance of defeating incumbent Nick LaLota in the GOP primary for the seat… If Georgie’s still on the ballot while in prison this could theoretically help Dem former CNN anchor John Avlon in November. Theoretically. Santos might just get like zero votes.

At least several masked terrorists in green fatigues opened automatic gunfire fire on civilians at the Crocus City Hall luxury shopping mall and concert venue in Moscow’s western side on Friday, killing an unknown number of people and setting the building on fire, the Associated Press reports.

The US Embassy in Moscow had issued a warning to American citizens to avoid crowded spaces in the city earlier this month, naturally the bulletin is being taken by Putin fanboys as a sign that this was a false flag… Well an American-backed false flag. No group or state actor has claimed responsibility for the attack yet, exactly the kind of vacuum in which misinformation thrives.

We hope the Ukrainians aren’t fucking stupid enough to do something like this. That they haven’t already after two years of war would suggest they aren’t, but there’s always a chance some free agent pro-Ukrainian partisans along the lines of that one Nazi militia might’ve done it. But the likeliest true culprit is the same guy suspected of orchestrating past terrorist attacks in Russia when he’s not riding around shirtless on horseback or talking to the ghosts of dead monarchs.

“After conversations with my family, I have made the decision to resign my position as a member of the House of Representatives for Wisconsin’s Eighth Congressional District, effective April 19, 2024.”

“I’ve worked closely with House Republican leadership on this timeline and look forward to seeing Speaker Johnson appoint a new chair to carry out the important mission of the Select Committee on the Chinese Communist Party. My office will continue to operate and provide constituent services to the Eighth District for the remainder of the term,” says Wisconsin Republican Mike Gallagher in another fuck you to Speaker Mike Johnson on what was already a rough day for him.

MSNBC’s primetime propagandists wasted countless hours pushing the Russia collusion hoax.

Last night, they discussed Durham's report for barely 10 minutes, in which they insisted the weaponization of government found in the report was no big deal.

— Ronna McDaniel (@RonnaMcDaniel) May 16, 2023

The libs frustrated over NBC hiring this lying assclown should pipe down and ask themselves these questions: Would you have rather her ended up staying safe and sound in MAGA reality on Fox News? Is it going to go well for her when she has to sit on panels and be challenged for her bullshit, especially in the home stretch of the election? Are you going to avert your gaze from the reams of clips of it over the next few months? If your answer to any of those questions ends up being anything other than “no” then you’re lying to yourself. This is going to be some great TV.

AND on the very, very extremely slim chance Ronna somehow ends up becoming like that Michael Steele guy and turning against the party then… Well that won’t be as fun to watch and nobody would give a shit but at least Raw Story and Mediaite will get lots of segments to “cover.”

Residents of the Tampa, Florida suburb of Temple Terrace tell WFLA they’re sort of concerned that a “chunky” alligator occupying a vacant property a “really long time” could pose a danger if it ever manages to move from its spot amid a pile of mulch and trash on the lot near a number of homes.

“I kind of got to check every time I come out the house,” neighbor Priscila Watson said, not adding that she was calling animal control five times an hour to get the obese reptile removed. Workers on a construction crew at an adjacent job site told the station they saw other people feeding the alligator, but it’s unclear if this was for their amusement or to contribute to the beast’s sedentary sloth and laziness to negate whatever threat it could theoretically pose. Florida Fish and Wildlife officials told WFLA they’re “looking into” the situation, further confirming the lack of urgency.

“On February 8, 2024, the Department of Justice released the report of Special Counsel Robert K Hur’s investigation into President Joseph R Biden, Jr’s unlawful removal, retention, and disclosure of classified documents when he was a private citizen. That same day, President Biden held a press conference where he denied sharing classified information during your work as his ghostwriter.”

“However, Special Counsel Hur’s report unequivocally provides that ‘[d]uring many of the interviews with his ghostwriter, Biden read from his notebooks nearly verbatim, sometimes for an hour or more at a time,’ and ‘at least three times Biden read classified notes from national security meetings to [you] nearly verbatim.’ Despite President Biden’s unequivocal contradiction of these material facts, Special Counsel Hur’s report contains references to ‘audio recordings’ and ‘transcripts’ of your multiple conversations with President Biden ‘related to [your] ghostwriting work of Biden’s memoirs[.]’ In particular, Hur noted that once FBI agents contacted you relating to your ghostwriting work on President Biden’s memoirs, you ‘provided investigators records that included near-verbatim transcripts and… audio recordings.’ Hur also noted that shortly after he began his investigation, you took steps to conceal some of these recordings and transcripts,” and blah blah blah writes spandex-wearing grapple freak Jim Jordan to Biden’s ghostwriter Mark Zwonitzer.

Congressmoron Marjorie Taylor Greene was kind of all over the place Friday after she submitted but did not formally introduce a motion to vacate against Jesus dork Speaker Mike Johnson. The House is out for a two-week break which gives a lot of time and space to maneuver – and see whether she’s even going to move forward on the motion at all. Don’t be shocked if this is all turns out just to be a fundraising/publicity performance where she can have the motion hanging over Johnson’s head for the entirety of the break and then just forget about it when nothing happens.

Meanwhile CBS’s Scott MacFarlane reports that “multiple” Dems, including newly re-elected Long Island Congressman Tom Suozzi, say they’ll help Johnson if it means aid for Ukraine.

The US House on Friday squeaked past the required 2/3rds threshold to pass the bill funding the federal government until September 30th. The vote is still ongoing but the Freedom Caucasians have lost yet another battle with the “uniparty.” Whether or not they actually move forward to vacate Speaker Mike Johnson remains to be seen, but probably north of 50/50 they chicken out again.

Scratched that out from this prewrite because, as previously reported, white nationalist QAnon freak Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene has filed a motion to vacate the Speakership from Johnson, even if it’s sort of technically accurate as Greene was tossed from the Freedom Caucasians last year. Democrats better bring out their carving knives to get their pound of flesh.

White nationalist Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene on Friday filed a motion to vacate House Speaker Mike Johnson in the middle of the chamber’s vote on government funding, Punchbowl’s Jake Sherman reports on something that’ll be bad news for Joe Biden and Democrats somehow.

🚨 BREAKING 🚨 GAME OVER! 🚨 PRESIDENT JOSEPH R BIDEN HAS BEEN COMPLETELY AND TOTALLY EXONERATED IN COWFUCK AGRICULTURAL INSTITUTE GRAD JAMES COMER’S HOAX IMPEACHMENT INQUIRY! STILL YOUR PRESIDENT MAGATARDS! BIDEN-HARRIS 2024! 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

In all seriousness you do not need to carefully parse Comer’s words here at all to conclude that this is over. He used the past tense “the inquiry was,” and admitted the Senate was just going to table the articles like they did “with Merrick Garland,” because this fucking moron forgot it was actually Homeland Security Secretary Alex Mayorkas that they impeached and isn’t going anywhere either. It was as close to an affirmative capitulation that we’re ever going to get, as now he’s saying he wants to move forward with the “off-ramp” of criminal referrals that they’re planning.