Dem Congressman Ruben Gallego on Monday submitted to the Arizona Secretary of State’s office the signatures for his ballot access position to take on deranged scumbag likely nominee Kari Lake in the Grand Canyon State’s 2024 Senate race, 28 days ahead of the deadline, KPNX’s Brahm Reznik reports, adding that useless “independent” incumbent Senator Kyrsten Sinema hasn’t even started her drive yet, leaving her with just four weeks to come up with the minimum 42,303 signatures.

Which in plainer English means Sinema proooobably isn’t running for reelection and is simply too busy running marathons and boozing with lobbyists to get around to announcing she’s fucking off.

This is why the Matthew Perna Act is so important for President Trump and J6 defendants to move trials out of DC in order to receive a fair trial.

You can’t find a jury of your peers in DC if you are a Republican and Nikki Haley no longer counts! pic.twitter.com/1XDB5dMgcF

— Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene🇺🇸 (@RepMTG) March 4, 2024

You probably already guessed what the Matthew Perna Act is based on the content of this self-home-wrecking white nationalist’s tweet. Who it’s named after and why is something extra fucking stupid and lame: Matthew Perna was a Capitol rioter who for some goddamned reason killed himself in February 2022, ahead of his sentencing, after having pleaded guilty in December 2021 to a felony charge of obstruction of Congress. His co-defendant, Steven Ayers, famous for his testimony to the House January 6th Select Committee, ended up getting two years probation for cooperating.

Perna had at least believed that he was facing up to 20 years and, believe us that we tried to get a straight answer on what the hell happened with regard to a plea deal, even sitting through a freaking tediously melodramatic two part Lara Logan investigative special that put a lot of blame on Perna’s defenase lawyer, we still have no idea if federal prosecutors were really fucking him over that badly.

There’s simply too much MAGA bullshit and propaganda containing too few facts about the circumstances surrounding the case against Perna. A preponderance of evidence suggests he was likely to see little if any time behind bars and just killed himself due to mental health problems.

But that’s almost neither here nor there because this dumb piece of shit Marjorie Taylor Greene and/or her buddies are naming their bill after an insurrectionist who never faced a jury.

A new survey of Florida GOP primary voters by “Kaplan Strategies” finds Congressman Rapey McForehead leading other asshole MAGA House Republican Byron Donalds and batshit state Attorney General Ashley Moody in the 2026 GOP gubernatorial primary at 16 percent to 13 and 10 percent, respectively. Another 51 percent were undecided, but notably absent from the field in this poll is state First Lady Casey “Walmart Melania” DeSantis, who the University of North Florida found in November to be leading the congressmen and the AG by 13 percent. None have actually declared their intent yet, but we found out about this latest poll because Gaetz had tweeted about it.

Former Trump Organization CFO Allen Weaselberg Weisselberg on Monday morning arrived at the Manhattan District Attorney’s office and will later appear in court to plead guilty to a charge of perjury he caught while taking the stand in New York Attorney General Letitia James’s massive civil fraud lawsuit against the fat former president’s corrupt business empire, CNN reports.

It’ll be the second conviction for the 70-something year-old former bean counter, coming less than a year after he was released a few weeks early from a five-month bid on Rikers Island in April 2023 after having pleaded guilty to tax fraud. The implications of Weaselberg’s newest plea are unknown at this point but the timing is not great for his demented orange boss’s first criminal trial over the 2016 Stormy Daniels hush money payoff, as jury selection begins in just three weeks.

Never was a second thought.

— Rep. Mike Collins (@RepMikeCollins) March 3, 2024

MAGA Georgia Congressman Mike Collins on Sunday replied “Never a second thought” to a Pepe-avatar far right Twitter account (also followed by Donald Trump Jr and Dinesh D’Souza) that, if it wasn’t necessarily obvious what “GarbageHuman” was talking about in his original tweet on the Washington Post’s Maura Judkis, it was made abundantly clear by the other fanboys with replies such as “The nose knows,” “Yeah we nose,” “Everyone nose what’s being inferred here,” and…

A survey by Punchbowl News in January found that 56 percent of Democrat and 25 percent of Republican aides doubted Jesus dork Speaker Mike Johnson’s ability to lead the chamber, a number that shot up to 91 percent of Dem and 58 percent of GOP aides when polled again in February.

It’s not clear if this was the same sample both times. It definitely was not scientific and the “aide” community is pretty close-knit and circlejerky. Still sounds not good for Johnson.

“I purposely stayed away from the DC Vote because it is the ‘Swamp,’ with very few delegates, and no upside. Birdbrain spent all of her time, money and effort there. Over the weekend we won Missouri, Idaho, and Michigan – BIG NUMBERS – Complete destruction of a very weak opponent. The really big numbers will come on Super Tuesday,” posted disgraced former President Trump on Truth Social on Sunday night, plainly butthurt over his landslide defeat in the District of Columbia Republican primary, as if he wouldn’t be lording a win over “Birdbrain” and that his campaign did not order all Republican DC lobbyists to show up if they wanted access to his future Reich.

It’s clearly bothering Donald, as he then continued with “Birdbrain is a loser, record low performance in virtually every State. DeSanctus easily beat her in Iowa for a VERY DISTANT second place, and then she ran up to the podium, before he had a chance to do so, and claimed victory. I enjoy watching the Bird disavow her PLEDGE to the RNC and her statement that she would NEVER run against President Trump (‘A great President’). Well, she ran, she lied, and she LOST BIG!”

“We’re talking about bears that are on crack, and they’re standing in your living room, growling,” said Republican state representative Jason Shoaf, according to the Palm Beach Post. “When you run into one of these crack bears, you ought to be able to shoot it.”

A law allowing one to shoot a bear–presumably the ursine type found in the forest, not the hairy gay type found in Wilton Manors, although in Florida it may be a future loophole found by a defense lawyer if not well-defined–standing in your home uninvited while obsessively scratching its shoulders and telling you it can fix the tranmission would come after one allowing you to shoot any human who accidentally drives onto your property, whether they’re in your living room, on crack, or a delivery driver at the wrong address.

Florida’s Crack Bears, the far less successful CW spinoff of the smash movie Cocaine Bear, is at no risk of becoming a regular series:  there has never been a recorded fatal attack of a human in Florida by a black bear, the only bear species native to the state… coincidentally.  (We’ll have to get back to you on the record of the Wilton Manors variety.)

Former South Carolina Governor Nikki “Birdbrain” Haley scored her first and maybe only 2024 primary victory Sunday night in the District of Columbia Republican primary, taking 62.86 percent of the vote to fat former President Trump’s 33.22 percent. The primary itself was pretty freaking low turnout as, per the AP, Haley won 1,279 votes to Trump’s 676, with Ron DeSantis in third at 38 votes.

Ryan Binkley got 1 vote, coming in last behind David Stuckenberg, who got 8. We have no idea who David Stuckenberg is but he should be proud he kicked Mike Pence’s ass in this primary.

White supremacists are forming fitness clubs around the nation where they recruit impressionable young men into their racist causes, including using working out to prepare for their expected imminent race war, Business Insider reports.  The groups, known as “active clubs,” are organized using Telegram channels where the members frequently espouse their beliefs against pretty much everything:  homophobic, misogynistic, xenophobic, racist and anti-Semitic.

One of their frequent targets may seem unlikely:  the Obese Orange himself, Donald Trump.  Memes and gifs shared by the clubs’ members mock Trump’s obesity and his claims of physical prowess.  According to people who monitor the groups, they’ve “long since turned on Trump,” seeing him as a puppet of the pro-Israel/pro-Jew controlling class.

They don’t stop at Trump, either; they attack his followers.  On one channel for a Texas-based “active club,” a user posted a clip showing photos of overweight, handicapped and non-white people wearing MAGA gear, calling them “average conservatives.”  It was followed by shots of fit white men exercising and sparring, claiming those were “average nationalists.”

In a remarkable act of functionality, the people in Congress responsible for appropriations presented six bills that will keep six federal agencies funded through the fiscal year, the Washington Post reports.  The bills must now be passed by the House before heading over to the Senate, where their confirmation is assured.

The funding for the Departments of Transportation, Veterans Affairs, Energy, Agriculture, Interior, and Housing and Urban Development, as well as the Environmental Protection Agency and the Food and Drug Administration would continue at 40% less than the last full fiscal year, while there would be cuts to the EPA, FBI and ATF.

A member of Republican House leadership said that while this bill can get passed, the conference is still very split on funding the rest of the government, which hits its financial wall on March 28th, saying the group is “still in the midst of significant negotiations in the second package.”

When the NYT/Sienna poll shows me at 12%, you better believe it is flawed.

Only 5% even know who I am.

— Dean Phillips (@deanbphillips) March 3, 2024

The US Supreme Court on Sunday announced they “may announce opinions” on Monday, which is very unusual for the court, something University of Texas Law Professor Steve Vladeck writes “very likely” indicates they’re going to drop their ruling on the Colorado 14th Amendment case against fat former President Trump – which is extremely likely to end up with him being un-disqualified.

Republican Alaska Senator Dan Sullivan says he’s “110 percent” defending fat former President Trump’s deranged rants because Biden is older and less mentally fit. Sullivan did not offer any actual examples of Biden’s alleged mental unfitness and did qualify it as a “relative” comparison.

“We’re in the middle of an Election. We have Super Tuesday coming up very shortly. According to Justice Department guidelines, they shouldn’t be prosecuting me: ‘Federal prosecutors and agents may never select the timing of any action, including investigative steps, criminal charges, or statements, for the purpose of affecting any election, or for the purpose of giving an advantage or disadvantage to any candidate or political party.’ THIS IS ELECTION INTERFERENCE, AND SHOULD BE STOPPED IN THE COURTS!” posted fat former President Trump on Truth Social, writing literally why the Justice Department guidelines do not apply in his case because “investigative steps, criminal charges, or statements” are not the same as prosecuting a preexisting indictment, a position special counsel Jack Smith and his team on Friday specifically stated in a court hearing.

Just prior to that he also crowed “The Supreme Court will address the historic question of Presidential Immunity. Without Presidential Immunity, the President cannot function, as his Political Opponents will blackmail and extort him with the threat of wrongful prosecution at every turn. I look forward to presenting my case to the Supreme Court,” rubbing it in libs’ faces that his DC trial is delayed another few months because of the Supreme Cunts setting arguments for April 22.

A number of experts including George Conway and former Mueller team prosecutor Andrew Weissman said in podcasts recorded after that order on Wednesday that what looks like a win at first does also put Trump in serious danger of still being on trial on Election Day or convicted days beforehand, which might actually be worse for him than if a guilty verdict had come months earlier, as the MAGA propaganda industrial complex needs time to work to memory hole bad news.

Former South Carolina Governor Nikki Haley on Sunday told NBC’s Kristen Welker there’s no need for Congress to codify a right to in-vitro fertilization. In response, former South Carolina Governor Nikki Haley told NBC’s Kristen Welker Congress should codify a right to in-vitro fertilization.

Republican Alaska Senator Lisa Murkowski tells NBC’s Ali Vitali she’s not voting for disgraced former President Trump in November, something not terribly surprising considering she was one of seven who voted to convict the fat fuck in his second impeachment trial but also still noteworthy considering the capitulations of others such as former Congressman Peter Meijer.

Murkowski has endorsed Nikki Haley, who herself hinted that she’s not bound by the RNC pledge she signed to support the eventual nominee. “The RNC is now not the same RNC,” Haley said, though as usual she weaseled in that she has “serious concerns about Donald Trump. I have even more concerns about Joe Biden,” when asked by NBC’s Kristen Welker if she’d endorse Donald.

Not like we need any further confirmation that Marco Rubio is a complete dipshit but we can go to the tape from just a few weeks ago where he was against the bipartisan border deal:

A 19 year-old Guatemalan migrant farm worker is no longer facing life in a Florida prison after prosecutors dropped a bullshit “aggravated homicide of a police officer” charge brought last year when a St John’s County Sheriff’s deputy dropped dead of a heart attack immediately after a struggle to arrest the kid who had no idea what was going on at the time, ABC News reports.

Sgt Michael Kunovich was shorehorned into a list compiled by Breitbart of “14 Americans, Legal Immigrants Among Those Allegedly Killed by Illegal Aliens in 2023” late last year, even as per ABC News, an autopsy report said Kunovich’s death after beating the shit out of the migrant, Virgilio Aguilar Mendez, “may have been a result of the severe heart disease, a prior heart attack or heart and lung deterioration due to smoking.” It’s not entirely clear however if that was the real reason the charges were dropped, as the court also determined that “based on concerns about the intellectual capacity of Virgilio Aguilar Mendez and the recent ruling finding him to be incompetent,” as he was incapable of understanding the American justice system and doesn’t understand English.

He also doesn’t really understand Spanish either, as he speaks an obscure indigenous Central American language called Mam. Though Aguilar Mendez has been exonerated, he’s still in ICE custody pending deportation proceedings. Breitbart’s earlier reporting on the story says the kid crossed the border in 2022 and was released into the US, which indicates that he’s an asylum claimant and not simply an illegal alien who crawled under the fencing or walked through the desert.

In a scene with a slight possibility of replaying in the US in November, as he sits in a prison cell after his corruption conviction, Pakistan’s opposition leader called on his followers to obstruct any policies or initiatives put forth by the new coalition government of newly-elected Prime Minister Shehbaz Sharif, who was re-elected to the position after forming a tenuous coalition government with typical rivals.

Per the Washington Post, Sharif was elected by a 201 to 92 in the Parliament as supporters of former prime minister and current inmate Imran Khan shouted “Thief!” from the floor.  Khan’s Movement for Justice members claim Sharif ordered election workers to slow vote counts and exclude votes from the February 8th election so he could secure the election; as with similar claims by the losing Party here in the United States, no evidence of widespread fraud by Khan or his supporters has been presented.

Even though the election was scheduled for a little more than a week away, Khan was convicted and sentenced on January 30th of selling gifts given to the government of Pakistan when he was Prime Minister for personal profit.  He is also accused of disclosing information from a classified government communication alleging that the United States government sought to damage Khan’s credibility and campaign.  He also claims the US attempted to oust him while he served as prime minister from 2018 to 2022.