You have been acting unprofessional and emotionally unhinged for weeks now. And we have all had to sit back and allow it and have all tried to exercise exceeding understanding for your raw emotion.

But you cross a certain line when you come for scripture and read yourself into…

— Candace Owens (@RealCandaceO) November 15, 2023

We missed this feud, but apparently far right influencer Candace Owens has been saying some shit that is not exactly the current GOP line on Israel vs Palestine. Like you might even mistake it for something Ilhan Omar would’ve said. It’s great stuff if you hate MAGA propagandist douchebags.

“Earlier today, I received an update from Chairmen Comer, Jordan, and Smith on the House’s impeachment inquiry. At this stage, our impeachment inquiry has already shown the corrupt conduct of the President’s family, and that he and White House officials have repeatedly lied about his knowledge and involvement in his family’s business activities. It has also exposed the tens of millions of dollars from foreign adversaries being paid to shell companies controlled by the President’s son, brother, and their business associates. Now, the appropriate step is to place key witnesses under oath and question them under the penalty of perjury, to fill gaps in the record.”

“I commend the good work of Chairmen Comer, Jordan, and Smith. As we move forward toward an inflection point in this critical investigation, they have my full and unwavering support,” says Speaker Mike Johnson in a statement, probably panicking over the Freedom Caucasians losing their shit over the spending bill and thinking providing an update on nothing was the best way to mollify them.

Problem is that the whole fucking reason for this fake impeachment “inquiry” – which still hasn’t even gone to the floor for a vote – in the first place was because now-former Speaker Kevin McCarthy hastily announced it in a bid to save his ass. Look at how that worked out for him.

Fulton County District Attorney Fani Willis on Wednesday asked a judge to revoke the bond of “Black Voices for Trump” asshole Harrison Floyd, citing his social media posts amounted to intimidation of key witnesses such as Brad Raffensperger, Ruby Freeman, and Gabe Sterling.

In a bellwether Pennsylvania county, a Republican school superintendent announced his retirement days after Democrats won local elections to take over the school board, prompting the current GOP members to approve a $700,000 severance package after just 26 months on the job.

According to the Bucks County Herald, Abram Lucabaugh announced his resignation on Monday, six days after five Democrats swept the open board seats in the previous week’s election for the district with 18,000 students, because he was apparently too worried the new members would not support his far-right agenda.  Since becoming superintendent of Central Bucks School District, his orders have included having school libraries remove material he deemed inappropriate; having the schools remove LGBTQ pride flags and other material supporting non-traditional gender identity and sexual identity; and having the school district sued by a teacher who alleged the district administration retaliated against him for helping a transgender student.  The board was so pleased with Lucabaugh’s work that they renegotiated his contract this past July and included a $85,000 annual salary increase.

The outgoing board members, all of whom are Republicans, authorized a $630,000 cash severance payment that included one year of his salary, unused vacation and sick days and a $50,000 one-time payment for some reason, a highly unusual bonus given that Lucabaugh quit; he wasn’t fired or laid off.  A separate package to be voted on Tuesday would pay Lucabaugh $10,000 to serve as interim superintendent until the end of the month, at which point he would be compensated $1,000 per day he works until the Board hires a new superintendent, something that will likely take months given the sudden nature of his departure.

“In a five-person hypothetical 2024 general election matchup adding independent candidate Cornel West and Green Party candidate Jill Stein, Trump receives 38 percent support, Biden receives 35 percent support, Kennedy receives 17 percent support, and West and Stein each receive 3 percent support,” writes some egghead at Quinnipiac University Polling Institute in a release on their newest national registered voter survey which is much devastating for Democrats as usual these days.

“Among voters supporting Trump in the five-person hypothetical 2024 general election matchup, 84 percent say they would still vote for Trump if he is convicted of criminal charges, while 9 percent say they would not vote for him if he is convicted,” the release continues in the next paragraph.

Since they didn’t fucking do the math here’s what that 84 percent works out to based on their national 1,574 registered voters sample: Biden 35 – Trump 32. They could’ve just asked “Who would you vote for if Trump is convicted?” and posted that finding but that would’ve made too much sense.

No, these polls don’t matter right now but the media narrative does and it’s important to have these facts handy when some horserace wiener gives you the “BiDEn iS So00o0o0o fUcKeD” narrative and uses this poll to further it. You can use the same data to push back. When they go “Oh but it’s not guaranteed Trump will get convicted or it’ll affect him because he’s really good at programming the information sphere” or some similar bullshit tell them that it’s sure as shit more likely to happen then there’ll be freaking FIVE presidential candidates on the ballot in all 50 states.

Jonathan Miller, a lawyer for former Coffee County Clerk Misty Hampton – the Georgia asshole who let MAGA conspiracy theorists into her office and take whatever the wanted from the Dominion Voting Systems server – on Wednesday told Judge Scott McAfee that he was the one who disseminated the videos of now-flipped co-conspirators MAGA lawyers Sidney “Kraken” Powell, Jenna Ellis, Kenny Chesebro, and Atlanta bail bondsman Scott Hall telling prosecutors everything they knew before they finalized their plea agreements with the state over the last few months, with Miller telling the court he believed the videos helped his client, Anthony Michael Kreis reports.

Which means that Tuesday’s reporting indicating that it was co-defendant “Black Voices for Trump” asshole Harrison Floyd, was incorrect. Floyd’s lawyer asked the court to put that on the record.

Nevada Attorney General Aaron Ford’s office has quietly opened a criminal investigation into the six Silver State Republicans who in December 2020 signed false documents proclaiming themselves to be the duly elected representatives to the Electoral College for disgraced former President Trump following his humiliating loss to now-President Joe Biden in the election, Politico reports.

Investigators have begun questioning witnesses and sought to obtain documents, focusing on state GOP chair Michael McDonald and Jim DeGraffenreid, who was in touch with now-convicted felon former Trump Campaign lawyer Kenny Chesebro, who organized the scam. Ford, a Democrat who has served since 2019, had earlier this year told state lawmakers that he had looked into it and could not find a way to build a criminal case against the assholes. By September however, after Ford’s counterpart Dana Nessel in Michigan had indicted all 16 of her state’s false electors, Fulton County, Georgia DA Fani Willis charged Trump and some of his minions in the same scheme in that state, and newly-elected Arizona Attorney General Kris Mayes had opened an investigation into the MAGA dickbags in her state, Nevada’s top lawman began to change his tune about the matter.

“I’ve never said that we’re not going to prosecute. It is not that I’ve said that I can do nothing. What I have said, and I’ve been precise with my wording on purpose, is we don’t have statutes in this state that directly address the issue,” Ford said, no doubt to the horror of the MAGA assholes.

The fascist Nazi stormtroopers with the Volusia County Sheriff’s Office on Saturday blatantly ignored the “DO NOT STOP – DO NOT DETAIN” on 58 year-old Destry Wogerman’s “GLOBAL-POSTAL-UNION-TREATY”-issued license plate on his “[GENEVA-CONVENTION-]NEUTRAL-ZONE-TRANSPORT-VESSEL” Ford F-150 and arrested him and as his lady-friend, 43 year-old Laralynne Nabozny for trying to intervene, a blatant violation of whatever international sovereignty treaty something immunity that Wogerman is entitled to invoke in all interactions with the nullified and illegitimate armed enforcers of the already constitutionally disincorporated United States of America.

Ahem. Now in our real world voice we have to ask why the hell Wogerman even bothered to pull over if his homemade license plate already nullifies police authority to force him to do so? What’s the point of being a sovereign citizen if you can’t keep acting the part when the rubber (quite literally) meets the road? Fake it til you make it, right? Easy to imagine users on sov-cit forums (ones who accept an ISP’s monthly billing soverignty) are trashing this guy for stopping like a normie sheep.

The “GLOBAL-POSTAL-UNION-TREATY” marque is a new one. Very similar flavor to that one extremely deranged Capitol rioter who claimed she was subject only to “Admiralty Law” in court.

House Ethics Committee Chairman Michael Guest on Wednesday told CNN’s Manu Raju that the incoming report on lying piece of shit Republican Long Island Congressman George Santos does not take a position on whether or not he should be expelled as he faces trial on dozens of federal felony counts, with Guest only saying members should read it and judge for themselves.

Pretty fucking lame. It doesn’t mean it won’t be bad and Santos won’t be expelled after the House reconvenes later this month, it’s just that it sounds like an out Republicans will want to take.

“A recent article in your publication knowingly or recklessly misstates material information about Trump Media and Technology Group Corp (TMTG) contained in a publicly-available registration statement filed by Digital World Acquisition Corporation (DWAC) on November 13, 2023. The article includes false and defamatory statements, including Truth Social supposedly incurring a $73 million financial loss, and omits TMTG and DWAC’s public statements about the filing.”

“The false, defamatory statements and material omissions, and defamatory implications thereof, are so numerous that nothing of the article’s central thrust would remain without them. Therefore, we insist that you completely retract all versions of this story whether online or in print, remove all versions of these stories from your website, and delete all posts related to the story from your social media accounts. Furthermore, we demand that you publish a mutually agreeable apology-in print, on your website, and on all its social media accounts-acknowledging that the story was false and has been retracted. Unless these steps are taken immediately, TMTG will take swift legal action to uphold its rights and reputation,” writes someone – probably Devin Nunes – at TMTG/Truth Social in a form letter posted on the network. Had to be Nunes. He lives for empty legal threats.

As you may have heard, Truth Social isn’t doing so great financially amid its stalled and probably doomed effort to merge with that DWAC scam operation. That said Nunes’s letter is remarkably consistent with statements on the finances of other Trump-owned business ventures: That they can’t be relied upon and they’re worth whatever he wants them to be worth because of his “brand.”

Former Army Colonel Eugene Vindman, twin brother to Trump Ukraine impeachment whistleblower and also former Army Colonel Alexander Vindman, has launched a 2024 bid for the swing-y Virginia 7th Congressional District seat being vacated by Dem Congresswoman Abigail Spanberger who this week announced she’ll be stepping down to run for governor of Virginia in 2025, Semafor Reports.

And yeah, Vindman is running as a Democrat, as if that’s any surprise after the entire Republican Party and the MAGA media complex turned him and his brother into Alfred Dreyfus in 2019.

A fervently anti-government hillbilly disrupted a congressional hearing on Wednesday with a bizarre rant about “ghost buses” taking secret agents to the Capitol to wreak havoc on January 6th, 2021 to falsely pin the blame for the mayhem on peaceful, patriotic Trump supporters.

“Defendant Robert Hunter Biden, through his counsel, respectfully moves this Court to enter an order directing that subpoenas duces tecum be issued to the following individuals – Donald John Trump (‘Mr Trump’); William P Barr (‘Mr Barr’); Richard Donoghue (‘Mr Donoghue’); and Jeffrey A Rosen (‘Mr Rosen’) – pursuant to Rule 17(c) of the Federal Rules of Criminal Procedure, and that each subpoena recipient be required to provide any responsive documents and materials by December 1, 2023, to allow Mr Biden sufficient time to review the material in advance of any necessary pre-trial motion, evidentiary hearing, and/or trial. The grounds for this Motion, including the four subpoenas to be issued, are set forth below. Because the documents sought relate to one another in both form and substance, this memorandum encompasses all four subpoena requests,” writes Hunter Biden’s lawyer in a motion seeking to subpoena Trump and his DOJ minions in his federal gun charge case.

Southeast Iceland’s Reykjanes Peninsula is shaking like Fox News host Judge Jeanine Pirro after three days on the wagon as the volc- Wait a second, Jeannine Pirro would never quit drinking, lol.

Southeast Iceland’s Reykjanes Peninsula is shaking like Mike Pence in an unlicensed “massage parlor” in Manila as- Why the hell would Mike Pence ever go to a massage parlor in Manila?

Southeast Iceland’s Reykjanes Peninsula is shaking like Arizona Congressman Paul Gos- Nope.

Southeast Iceland’s Reykjanes Peninsula is shaking like a geologically active region experiencing a lot of magma uplift as the area recorded more than 800 earthquakes overnight and monitoring instruments have detected the presence of sulfur dioxide gas in the air indicating that lava is nearing the surface around the now-evacuated fishing town of Grindavik, CBS News reports.

Which means a fissure emanating from the nearby Þorbjörn volcano could erupt like Congressman James Comer did at “Smurf” Jared Moskowitz during that Oversight Committee hearing on Tuesday.

The crack political science wizards at Emerson College Polling, famous for their masterful insights into the pulse of the American electorate like finding Kentucky Attorney General Dan Cameron +1 over incumbent Dem Governor Andy Beshear late last month (Beshear won by 5), Republican Adam Laxalt +5 over incumbent Nevada Dem Senator Catherine Cortez-Masto in their final 2022 poll of that race (Cortez-Masto won by 1), Mehmet Oz +1 over now-Senator John Fetterman in Pennsylvania in 2022 (Fetterman won by 5), Dem New Hampshire Senator Maggie Hassan +5 over QAnon freak Don Bolduc in 2022 (Hassan won by 10), the 2022 Arizona Senate race between incumbent Dem Mark Kelly and Reptilian fascist Blake Masters tied (Kelly won by 5) and other brilliant calls have found President Joe Biden leading disgraced former President Trump 47 to 42 percent in a two way race, Biden 40 to Trump 37 with assclowns RFK Jr and Cornel West in the mix.

Wait, they actually fucked this one up. Trump should be like +10 in the Granite State. There’s no way Biden could be leading in any swing-ish state in the Emersonverse. They’re like Diet Trafalgar or Rasmussen Lite: All the Republican-leaning taste with none of the MAGA calories. Joe’s supposed to be losing to Trump in a landslide in 2024. Emerson fans ought to be furiously demanding a scapegoat on their team of push pollsters be found and promptly fired for this disgraceful failure.

Meet Celeste Maloy. On January 6th, 2021 she was working as a staffer to Republican now-former Utah Congressman Chris Stewart who resigned a few months ago because of family health issues something something. Maloy is now running in a special election to replace Stewart, and faces in voters next week. This week the Salt Lake Tribune dug up the above video dated February 1, 2021, in which Maloy told an interviewer from a Washington County, Utah Republican women’s group that, just a few weeks earlier, even while she was hiding in the Capitol bunker from the violent insurrectionists, she was “getting a lot of phone calls from people I know asking if this was a false flag attack,” with the people asking her “Is this really Antifa? Trump supporters don’t do this.”

“I spent a lot of time that day just telling people, ‘Yeah, these are Trump supporters,'” Maloy told the interviewer. “The fact that the actual Confederate Army never got into the US Capitol, but we had Trump supporters carrying a Confederate flag into the Capitol in 2021 was sort of soul-crushing. It was a hard thing to watch… Americans support the institutions of our country more than we support people. We don’t get behind dictators. Our loyalty isn’t even primarily to the Republican Party, it’s to America. And watching people go into the Capitol like that felt like they were proving me wrong on all those beliefs.” We’re going to have to double check this but we’re pretty sure that very heavy implication that Trump is a “dictator” makes Maloy a backstabbing lowlife RINO traitor.

Maloy would not answer a question from the Tribune this week about whether she still stood by those comments, saying only “Republicans are the party of law and order – and I am a law-and-order Republican. I believe the video where I talk about January 6th is clear on that.”

A new Wall Street Journal survey of economic eggheads finds a consensus that the US is headed for a “soft landing” without the recession right wingers so desperately want Americans to suffer during an apocalyptic election year. “In the past 80 years, the Federal Reserve has never managed to bring inflation down substantially without sparking a recession,” the Journal writes in their report.

“What we are expecting now is a soft landing. We expect the economy to weaken quite a bit but it does look like we’ll avoid an outright contraction,” said Oxford Economics nerd Nancy Vanden Houten. “If one was looking for a clear sign of a soft landing, the disinflation inside the [consumer-price index] is one unavoidable and unmistakable sign that the US economy has proved far more resilient than anyone anticipated at the outset of 2023,” said RSM US poindexter Joseph Brusuelas.

The driver of the “Santa’s train,” which is just a regular farm tractor made to look like an old-fashioned steam train that pulls two trailers full of children, was arrested Saturday just before Tazewell, Tennessee’s annual Christmas Tractor Parade was set to begin, WATE reports.

Cops were alerted after attendees noticed 40 year-old Henry Meade “acting erratically” and pulled him aside for a field sobriety test, which he failed, badly. Upon cuffing him, police searched Meade and found a syringe, methamphetamine, and other unspecified narcotics. It’s not clear if Meade was wearing a Santa suit and beard when he was arrested as no photos were available.

Texas Congressman Pat Fallon on Tuesday walked back on his plan to run for his old seat in the state Senate in 2024, saying his family – and his son specifically – talked him out of it, Politico reports. “I filed to return because you’ve got to think about family,” said Fallon, adding that his son was “distraught” that his old man was self-demoting. Guess the Fallons really don’t want him closer to home – after he specifically said he was looking forward to spending more time with them. Fallon also acknowledged that the endorsements he got for his return home, like that of far right asshole Texas Lt Governor Dan Patrick, “put some folks in some spots” but “we’re good.”