Something that may have slid under the radar last week:  the House Ethics Committee reopened an investigation into conduct by Republican Florida Congressman and bad Johnny Bravo cosplayer Matt Gaetz concerning allegations that he transported an underage girl across state lines to have sex with her, according to Punchbowl News.

The Committee has not yet opted to establish a more formal investigative subcommittee, but it is reportedly looking closely into various allegations.  The Committee had previously opened investigations into charges that Gaetz had paid his friend Joel Greenberg for underage sex workers using Venmo and showed Congressional colleagues inappropriate photos of women while on the House floor, but backed off after the FBI revealed its probe in 2021.  In the meantime, the Department of Justice announced it was not going to pursue charges against Gaetz, in part because of the scumminess of Greenberg made him an unlikeable witness for a jury.

Remember Tucker Carlson?  He was a big shot at Fox until his misogyny, sexual harassment and/or bigotry got him, as happened at Fox to about 22 dozen men and Kimberly Guilfoyle.  And now, from his basement in Maine, he’s upset that Fox did another commonsense move in firing the person who created the chyron shown on Tuesday for 27 seconds that read, “Wannabe Dictator Speaks at the White House After Having His Political Rival Arrested.”

Noting that the man was a network employee for more than a decade, Carlson said “he was considered one of the most capable people in the building,” which explains a lot about the operations at the cable propaganda outlet.

Lots of conservatives speaking out, even just in the last hour or two. I think the dam is really breaking for Fox. This is truly their Bud Light moment.

— Matt Walsh (@MattWalshBlog) June 16, 2023

Deep in the bowels of Twitter, a lonely angry straight white man angrily pounds at a keyboard spewing his hate.  Okay, not just “a” angry straight white man; probably millions.  But this one in particular, Matt Walsh, has been running a years-long campaign against the LGBTQ community, including targeting hospitals where trans children seek care, which has resulted in bomb threats.  Some credit Walsh with amplifying the LGBTQ hate message in the conservative movement to the point that it became a hot-button issue in this political cycle.

This is one of those videos where you need to pay attention to the title card on the video, showing Laura Ingraham at a Fall 2020 rally for failing human Donald Trump. And then listen to her commentary about Mitt Romney’s attendance at a BLM march that summer: “The mask outside always gives it away. Probably, y’know, has it on in his car right now. How embarrassing!”  (Thanks to video clipping wizard Acyn for digging out the clip of Ingraham at the rally.)

Somewhere, a conservative radio show host will say John Russell Howard, a triple-first-named name from Basin, Montana was simply exercising his First and Second Amendment rights simultaneously when he walked down the streets armed with multiple weapons, promising to “clean” the town of its gay and lesbian residents.  He’d be wrong, of course, but he’ll make the claim.

But after federal authorities stepped in and used the Matthew Shepard and James Byrd, Jr. Hate Crimes Prevention Act to bring federal charges, Howard was sentenced to eighteen years in prison for his March 2020 rampage, according to the Washington Post.  Howard terrorized the town of 270 people, stopping in front of houses where he believed gay or lesbian people lived, at one point firing a number of rounds onto a woman’s property.

Shockingly, the armed, overweight white guy spewing hate speech was taken into custody without him getting shot, strangled or tasered, even after a sheriff’s deputy recorded him on video firing his weapon into someone’s property–and then running away when the deputy tried to apprehend him.  He was arrested the next day, because apparently an APB for an overweight white guy with a gun in Montana would have led to civil rights violations.

Republican Idaho Senator Jim Risch, the ranking member on the Senate Foreign Relations Committee, has put a hold on an arms package sought by Hungarian President Viktor Orban until Orban’s government finishes its review of Sweden’s NATO membership, Roll Call reports.  All NATO members must approve new members for the alliance to grow.

The move echoes a maneuver Committee Chair Bob Menendez did to a deal for F-16 advanced fighters sought by Turkey’s Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdoğan.  Erdoğan just won reelection, and he is expected to approve Sweden’s entry into NATO now that political pressure has lessened.  However, Orban hasn’t given a clear reason for the delay, and may just follow Erdoğan’s lead.

Jack Teixeira, the 21-year-old Massachusetts Air National Guardsman who leaked classified information on the Discord platform, was charged with six counts of willfully and knowingly possessing and disseminating national security information, demonstrating that no, it’s really not only Donald Trump who gets charged with such things.

According to NBC News, the indictment states that the defendant knew what his “top secret” security classification entailed regarding the possession and distribution of classified information, and he willfully ignored those security restrictions by showing that information to others.  So again, no, it’s not only Donald Trump who gets charged with such things, MAGAts.  Don’t make me say it a third time.

A recent conference call between Republican National Committee staff and former Arkansas Governor Asa Hutchinson’s campaign over the latter’s request for some flexibility on the moronic “loyalty pledge” the party is still imposing on candidates as a requirement for participating in the primary debates – even after fat former President Trump was indicted on a total of 71 felonies in two jurisdictions with more incoming – ended with the party telling Hutch to get fucked, Politico reports.

It’s not even clear yet if Hutchinson would meet the other minimum donor and polling requirements to qualify but why not root for him to annoy the shit out of the party for enforcing fealty to Trump?

“Candidates who are complaining about this to the press should seriously reconsider their priorities and whether they should even be running,” said plainly annoyed RNC senior adviser Richard Walters in a statement, adding that the candidates are only “being asked to respect the decision of Republican primary voters and support the eventual nominee.” He did not add “even if it’s Trump.”

That Hutchinson is making such a big deal out of it ostensibly as a matter of “principle” raises the question of why a 72 year-old man who probably won’t run again in 2028 cares about breaking a non-binding pledge after the primary debates… Unless maybe it somehow is binding and civilly actionable somewhere down in the fine print. Or they have personal kompromat on Hutchinson.

What prompted this meltdown we think was, as Trump mentioned in a later post, that the Westchester County, New York District Attorney’s office apparently dropped all charges over… something… can’t remember what it was. Might’ve been some shady land deal involving a golf course or a mansion. Not even sure it was Trump himself under investigation but probably the Trump Organization which, as we know, was convicted of tax fraud in Manhattan late last year.

The weaponized Biden Justice Department on Thursday indicted Massachusetts Air National Guardsman patriotic Groyper Jack Teixeira on the same document hoax they illegally went after President Trump with, charging him with six phony counts of willful retention and transmission of classified information relation to the national defense, Woke Disney-owned ABC fake News reports.

See libs?!? If the Deep State can do this to President Trump then they can do it to you too! Teixeira had every right to those documents and to share them with his “KEKEK” friends on Discord where all they did was trade “memes.” They’ll go after him but not the Clintons for the “Socks Case” and the 33,000 illegal emails on the bathroom server from Ukraine that she acid washed. And the Uranium thing too. Hillary gave all our Uranium to Russia and nobody did anything! Where’s Hunter?!?

National Zero will resume our regular news coverage now that we’ve further validated our right wing readers’ belief that they’re not after Trump but after them and he’s only standing in the way.

Drunken shitbrain Rudy Giuliani on Thursday told Newsmax that the mysterious “informant” that House Oversight dipshit James Comer hasn’t been able to find but has 17 recordings of Hunter and Joe Biden accepting bribes died “under mysterious circumstances” at some point in recent history.

We think that’s what this moron is trying to say, but a Wednesday report from Breitbart says the “informant” was actually her husband, Burisma founder and known Russian intel asset Mykola Zlochevsky, currently a fugitive wanted by Ukrainian authorities. Then on Thursday the Federalist, citing a “credible” source, says Zlochevsky was a victim of Biden “coercion.” The also doubled the no longer a bribe but a shakedown from $5 million to $10 million. All the while CNN has a rundown of Republicans like Ron “RonAnon” Johnson and Chuck “Old Bastard” Grassley admitting they have no idea if these tapes actually exist or Zlochevsky’s whereabouts. So yeah, they’re doing a fucking stellar job of distracting the from Trump getting indicted on 37 federal felony counts.

Manhattan federal Judge Lewis Kaplan on Thursday set the start of the other defamation case against fat former President Trump by writer EJ Carroll – the one he just allowed her to expand based on further defamation by Donald that stupid CNN town hall – for January 15th, 2024.

Pro-Trump alcoholic Irishman Conor MacGregor has been accused of raping a woman in a restroom the same night he punched the Miami Heat’s mascot in the face, TMZ reports.

A scheduling order issued Thursday by shitty MAGA Judge Aileen Cannon would appear to confirm that she does not plan on recusing herself from overseeing her Orange Allah’s trial on charges he stole classified documents from the White House. The order itself, setting a June 20th deadline for Trump’s lawyers to verify they have the necessary security clearances, doesn’t indicate one way or the other on how much she’s going to help Trump run out the clock on going to trial.

Earlier this former federal prosecutor and Twitter champ Ron Filipkowski laid out the chances of the DOJ getting “Judge Appletini” removed absent her own recusal as pretty much slim to none.

Australian Senator Paul Van has been expelled from his “Liberal Party” caucus (everything’s upside-down there, the “Liberals” are actually right wingers) on Thursday, just a day after Independent Senator Lydia Thorpe loudly accused him, publicly, in session, of sexually harassing and assaulting her – while Van was reading a speech about sexual harassment, the Australian reports.

This clip above is from Wednesday. Thorpe later “withdrew” her words, but only in the procedural, parliamentary sense to avoid sanction for interrupting Van. She later reaffirmed her actual allegation at a press conference, prompting a flood of other accusations against Van, including a former senator in his own party who said Van once groped her in the parliament building.

At this point, after all these years of just endless gutter hypocrisy from the MAGA right wing, people should probably stop being surprised or even particularly affronted by it. Like some folks write “Oh this is total projection” and “if they didn’t have double standards then they wouldn’t have any standards at all” almost as if they somehow expect shame from the assholes who, for example, complain about “groomers” yet abide Jim Jordan, Matt Gaetz, and Ali Alexander to be their champions at owning the libs. It’s not like pointing it out isn’t satisfying sometimes, it sure is.

However the real freedom and clarity comes with the realization that this is all a zero sum game, that cosmic justice is visited upon the wicked inconsistently at best, and that not only is the hypocrisy not a sin but a virtue, it is much of what gives them their power. Defying the basic need for moral and logical consistency to your face is a form of bullying and the steel of the permission structures which the MAGA political and media axis use to further their endless quest to subjugate America.

Now for the actual news on that: After years of calling every effort to hold them and their Orange Allah accountable for their crimes “witch hunts” and Stalinist weaponization of law enforcement only to have Trump himself proclaim “I will appoint a real special prosecutor to go after the most corrupt president in the history of the United States of America, Joe Biden, and the entire Biden crime family,” during his speech on Tuesday, the New York Times reports that right wing legal operatives are already drawing up plans on making that happen should the fat fuck return to power in 2025.

“Conservatives are waking up to the fact that federal law enforcement is weaponized against them and as a result are embracing paradigm-shifting policies to reverse that trend,” former Trump Administration official Russ Vought explained to the Times about he and his buddy Jeff Clark’s justification for their own “weaponization” plan. Clark of course is the former Trump Justice Department Associate Attorney General who’s been under federal criminal investigation and faces disbarment over his involvement in the post-2020 election coup attempt.

We could go on with the details but you get the point: These motherfuckers don’t care if you think they’re being hypocrites. They literally do not give a fuck. They love it because it makes the libs feel owned. Act accordingly and focus on deeper implications that can be found in their words and deeds, specifically on their failures to deliver for their own supporters or their own personal vulnerabilities. The sorts of things they don’t like being brought to their attention.

Harris County, Texas Sheriff Ed Gonzales on Wednesday announced a man will not face charges for murder despite his girlfriend’s gruesomely mutilated body being found in the woods in the northeast corner of the county outside city limits, KRTK reports. The sick, depraved individual remains free because the investigation was dropped after medical examiner staff determined the man’s girlfriend was an expensive, anatomically correct sex doll who thus definitionally not a murder victim.

“The medical examiner determined over a video call that it could not be a human based on the lack of decomposition. It is unclear exactly how long it took authorities to inspect the ‘body’ before concluding that it was a woman, but it was made of silicone,” KRTK literally writes in the report on a situation so goddamned funny on its own we had to try to top it with the switcheroo.

We do strongly suspect however this is have been still a “crime” beyond simple littering and that it was more likely than not that some mischievous prankster(s) absconded with their involuntarily celibate friend or neighbor’s $1,000+ retail price “girlfriend” and destroyed her out of simple cruelty. Certainly more likely than a darker version of “Lars and The Real Girl” starring Ryan Gosling. And to be fair to the cops, based on the pic you might’ve mistaken the sex doll’s remains for a body too given the amount of dirt and the texture of the skin – and that they’re not supposed to disturb evidence until a medical examiner or detective can be brought to the scene of the discovery.

You will not be shocked to learn that, according to a report in the Miami New Times, disgraced former President Trump’s post-arraignment visit to the Versailles bakery in Miami’s Little Havana neighborhood resulted in exactly $0 bought for other patrons despite the 71-time accused felon having declared “Food for everyone!” during his 10 minute visit to the establishment.

One the other hand, we actually hadn’t considered that the Orange Defendant was full of shit considering that he did actually buy McDonald’s for dozens of locals during his February visit to East Palestine, Ohio, to capitalize on the political opportunity of the toxic train wreck there. And, at least as far as a fairly thorough search of FEC records shows, Trump might have paid that fast food bill himself. So maybe he saw the prices at Versailles and balked at putting others’ checks on his tab.