“US Senate Commerce Committee Ranking Member Ted Cruz (R-Texas) and Senator Marsha Blackburn (R-Tenn), Ranking Member of the Subcommittee on Consumer Protection, Product Safety, and Data Security, today opened an investigation into and called on the beer industry’s self-regulatory body – the Beer Institute – to investigate whether Anheuser-Busch’s partnership with influencer Dylan Mulvaney violates the Beer Institute’s guidelines prohibiting marketing to underage individuals. The letter outlines evidence showing that Dylan Mulvaney’s audience skews younger than the legal drinking age and that Mulvaney’s social media content appeals to young viewers. The letter also calls on Anheuser-Busch to sever its relationship with Dylan Mulvaney.”

“In a letter to Brendan Whitworth, CEO of Anheuser-Busch and Chairman of the Beer Institute, Senators Cruz and Blackburn write: ‘We are writing to you today in both your capacity as the United States Chief Executive Officer of the Anheuser-Busch Companies (‘Anheuser-Busch’ or ‘your company’) and as the Chairman and Senior Director of the Beer Institute, the beer industry’s self-regulatory body with authority over the advertising of beer,” says a press release from totally useful and productive Republican Senators Rafael “Ted” Cruz and Marsha “Fucking Idiot” Blackburn.

It took them almost two months to come up with this pretext for “concern” over the Bud Light trans “controversy”: That a lot of Mulvaney’s fan base might be under age 21. Suddenly this is a problem after, just for example, rapper Post Malone’s hideously tattooed face appeared on Bud Light cans, when Game of Thrones-branded wines, beers, and whiskies were launched, rapper Snoop Dog starred in a Corona commercial, when Deadpool actor Ryan Reynolds partnered in a gin brand, when Star Wars-branded beers were launched, and how many more fucking examples of entertainers and entertainment properties that hold plenty of appeal with Americans under 21 nonetheless being used to market alcoholic products do we need here? When were Cruz and Blackburn “concerned” about them? Was it “never” because those are “straight” booze products?