Sunday afternoon marks 30 days since fat former President Trump was indicted in Manhattan on 34 felony counts of falsification of business records in connection to his hush money payoff to porn star Stormy Daniels just days before the 2016 election to cover up his 45 second sexual encounter with her that occurred at some point in 2006… while Melania had just given birth to their son, Barron.
Hilariously, their Orange Allah finally facing the justice system for the first time wasn’t even the worst thing that happened to MAGA this month. Follow us on a brief trip down recent memory lane:
March 30, 2023
Orange Defendant explodes with rage over indictment
MAGA Land going through some things
Lindsey Graham has had an ugly, ugly cry
March 31, 2023
“His soul is totally bonded with our core values and emotions”
On the way to the DA’s office on Tuesday, Trump should smash some windows, rob a few shops and punch a cop.
He would be released IMMEDIATELY!
— Lindsey Graham (@LindseyGrahamSC) March 31, 2023
Ivanka distancing herself from Daddy’s legal woes
Dominion wins part of Fox defamation case on summary judgement, other claims to continue into trial
MAGA scumbag convicted in 2016 vote-by-text scam
April 1, 2023
Federal judge blocks Tennessee drag show ban
MAGA terrorist arrested in plot to firebomb drag show venue
Oh, Majorie! Bless your heart. In case you haven't noticed, tiny has a horse fetish. He's not going to fuck you. Actually….. He might. Carry on. Get it, girl! 😂
— Stormy Daniels (@StormyDaniels) April 1, 2023
April 2, 2023
Pro-Putin military blogger killed in bombing deep inside Russia
April 3, 2023
Jack Smith subpoenas Mar-a-Lago Secret Service detail
Majorities approve of Trump indictment, see it as political: CNN poll
Mayor warns terrorist leader NYC isn’t going to put up with her shit
DeSantis demands answers on how Disney escaped his wrath
Watters melts down over number of counts against Trump leaking
Orange Defendant facing 34 felony counts
“This means that he MUST BE IMMEDIATELY INDICTED”
April 4, 2023
Orange Defendant wants Jack Smith indicted for “leaks” too
House GOP admit they’ve overhyped and underdelivered on probes
Federal appeals court rejects Trump bid to block testimony
Murdoch’s fifth marriage ends before it could start
Dersh loses libel lawsuit against CNN
Janet Protasiewicz wins Wisconsin state Supreme Court election
Brandon Johnson defeats DINO in Chicago mayoral race
April 5, 2023
Kremlin propagandists mock Trump arrest
Melania AWOL from Trump speech
Criminal squeezes in some time to panic about his other crimes
Trump minions testified they told boss coup attempt was illegal
Mike Pence won’t appeal order to testify to grand jury
April 6, 2023
Clarence Thomas accepted luxury trips from GOP donor
Fulton DA says Trump can call her racist all he wants
McCarthy whines Alvin Bragg is “destroying this nation”
April 7, 2023
Orange Warlord 58 – Disney Villain 21: Reuters/Ipsos poll
April 9, 2023
More indie voters think Trump committed a crime: ABC News poll
Fox settles (different) lawsuit over false voting machine claims
April 10, 2023
Orange Warlord explodes at Bill Barr over Mar-a-Lago docs case
Don Jr cancels dinner with COVID piss-drinking “cure” expert
Crenshaw’s stupid Bud Light boycott backfires all too easily
Black unemployment rate lowest since 1972
Nashville Metro Council reappoints Justin Jones
ChiCom bank quit Trump Tower lease because he lost reelection
April 11, 2023
Secessionist Texas Republican caught grooming young intern
“Cult deprogrammed” Capitol rioter gets 52 months
Manhattan DA Bragg sues Jim Jordan
“They’re interfering with OUR investigation!”
Melania just vants to ve left alone
April 12, 2023
Major Fox shareholder sues Murdoch over election lies
Smith team asking about Trump showing off stolen classified map
Justin Pearson reappointed the Tennessee state House
Arizona House expels conspiracy freak Republican
Jack Smith looking into Trump fundraising post-2020 election
DeSantis begging Florida Republicans to stop endorsing Trump
April 13, 2023
House GOP approval deep underwater
Trump had a long ass day at the New York AG’s office
April 14, 2023
Dick Grenell testifies to Mar-a-Lago docs grand jury
Yeah, a Trump PAC really made a “pudding fingers” attack ad
Pudding Fingers pic.twitter.com/PRCVAZlkw9
— MAGA War Room (@MAGAIncWarRoom) April 14, 2023
Kari Lake skips Arizona GOP Senate primary peace summit
NRA cult gathering viciously boos Mike Pence
Mike Pompeo declares defeat in 2024 GOP primary
April 15, 2023
Tyler Boebert skips court date over car accident
Jack Smith now interfering with the 2020 election, Trump wails
MAGA terrorist sentenced in Merriam-Webster “woke word” threats
Trump lawyer Corcoran recuses himself from documents case
NRCC quickly deletes moronic anti-Bud Light koozie offer
Trump financial docs show he made $200 from Truth Social
Top GOP donor disowns DeSantis over his extremist policies
Fox lawyers apologize to judge for withholding information
Santos campaign raised negative-dollars in first quarter
April 16, 2023
Nimrata Haley’s campaign caught lying about fundraising haul
US forces in Syria cancel another ISIS senior leader
April 17, 2023
Trump gives Fox News legal advice at 2:39 AM
MAGA school board candidates had a bad election day
Federal judge rejects Trump bid to delay EJ Carroll trial
Ali Alexander apologizes for asking teen boys to send him dick pics
Santos announces reelection bid
Former Fox producer says she found more evidence for Dominion
April 18, 2023
Team Orange getting ready for 14th Amendment ballot challenges
Elon Musk cancels Ali Alexander
Fulton DA seeks to disqualify fake Trump 2020 electors’ lawyer
Dominion and Fox News settle lawsuit: $787.5 million
DeSantis a disaster during DC tour to garner support for candidacy
Comer stupidly admits he hasn’t found any crimes by the Bidens
April 19, 2023
MAGA on MAGA violence at Michigan GOP gathering
Montana GOP scraps plan to fuck over Jon Tester
Main scumbag Trump lawyer sidelined ahead of testimony
Pro-Trump PAC founder indicted for fraud
QAdulteress freaks out over being shut up during hearing
Former educator schools Byron Donalds on systemic racism
April 20, 2023
DeSantis vows to find scapegoat after Florida “woked” at 4:45 AM
Judge tells Trump to fuck off on excusing absence from Carroll trial
Biden wins Arizona again, for old time’s sake
Ted DiBiase Jr indicted in MAGA Mississippi welfare scam
Tennessee Republican resigns over sexual harassment charge
April 21, 2023
Orange Warlord 51 – Mickey Maoist 38 in GOP primary: WSJ poll
Failed crypto entrepreneur to be questioned by Jack Smith again
Florida MAGA Congressman not very subtle at all
To my fellow elected officials serving in Tallahassee, your constituents voted you into those positions to represent them, not to kowtow to the presidential ambitions of a Governor! Be strong and courageous, the people of Florida will thank you. https://t.co/WP7kcjHCbO
— Greg Steube (@gregsteube) April 21, 2023
Mike Lindell says Cyber Symposium guy’s arbitration was rigged
Dems dismantle another Jim Jordan fan fiction story
April 23, 2023
April 24, 2023
Ron DeSantis campaigning in Japan for some reason
Tucker Carlson out at Fox News
Harris Faulkner somberly announces the loss of ratings leader
Murdoch personally decided to fire Tucker: LA Times
Fulton DA tells cops to be ready for Trump charges this summer
Senator asks Texas billionaire for list of all gifts he gave Thomas
April 25, 2023
Michigan grand jury probing “Stop the Steal” MAGA shitheads
Lawyer with cases at Supreme Court bought home from Gorsuch
Orange Pharaoh 54 – Mickey Maoist 25 in 2024 GOP primary: poll
“The most difficult two weeks we’ve experienced in our life”
Biden 47 – Trump 43 in Wisconsin 2024 poll
Former Guy already hinting he won’t show up to primary debates
Majority don’t want Trump to be President again: NPR poll
MSNBC plays audio of Ted Cruz planning post-2020 election coup
Judge throws out another Nunes defamation claim, but suits continue against parody Twitter accounts
April 26, 2023
Fox News has kompromat on Tucker: report
Ronna fact-checked on Trump debate participation
Ivanka gets her own lawyer in New York AG’s lawsuit
Bannon wall scam accomplices sentenced
Judge warns Tacopina again, this time about Eric Trump
Tina Peters accomplice gets 30 days in cooperation plea deal
Trump lawyers beg GOP to get DOJ to stop Mar-a-Lago docs case
QAdulteress calls Tucker’s firing “the end of the First Amendment”
Federal appeals court tosses Trump bid to block Pence testimony
Thiel won’t fund 2024 GOP candidates due to culture wars
April 27, 2023
Trump 62 – DeSantis 16 in 2024 GOP primary: Emerson poll
DeSantis calls Disney lawsuit “political”
Second firm hired by Trump campaign found no voter fraud
Mike Pence testifies to grand jury for seven hours
Sinema won’t say if she’s actually running for reelection
April 28, 2023
“Donald Trump gave us wokeism”
Republicans freaking out over likely WinRed rate increase
April 29, 2023
Ukrainian drones make Russian oil depot in Crimea go boom
Judge Box-o-Wine, Bartiromo worried they’re next to be fired
Former GOP NYC mayoral candidate owes $500,000 in child support
Too Long, Didn’t Scroll: It wasn’t just Trump getting indicted and Tucker getting fired from Fox News. It was that plus a whole lot of other setbacks and embarrassments big and small inflicted upon the Trump fanbase and the right-wing non-Trump fanbase watching Ron DeSantis’s not-yet-official 2024 presidential bid implode completely. Then there’s serious further damage done to the legitimacy of the MAGA Supreme Court, the humiliations of Ali Alexander, Steven Crowder, and Mike Lindell. Fox News paying Dominion $787 million in a settlement with no end in sight to their legal troubles and further damning revelations. The past 30 days held some wins for Republicans legislatively. But in the political and media spheres they simply got utterly schlonged in so many unique and interesting ways it’s difficult to remember all of them if they’re not right here in front of you.