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Fox News reports entire universe revolves around MAGA’s needs

In a Sunday article titled “Battleground state under fire for scheduling voter registration site to go dark same day as Butler rally,” Fox News reported that the entire universe revolves around the emotional needs of MAGA voters who responded to the Pennsylvania Secretary of State’s decision to take the registration portal offline for maintenance in the hours after convicted felon former President Trump returned to the rally venue in which his face was almost blown off.

In case it were not already apparent, the logic internal to this normal function of any large organization’s IT department is that on a Saturday night – a time common sense dictates is when a government website would experience the lowest traffic and thus optimal for software engineers to conduct required maintenance – it was purposely timed to blunt any surge of new GOP registrations inspired by the Orange Satan’s hateful ranting and Elon Musk’s girlish jumping.

Fox News presents circumstantial evidence for what prompted the purported mass outrage against the entire Keystone in the form of Trump’s announcement that he would return to Butler on October 5th having predated the Secretary of State’s office placing a notice on the voter registration portal that it would be shut down the same evening. “The Pennsylvania Voter Registration website announced its scheduled maintenance sometime between Sept 30 to Oct 1, archived data for the site reviewed by Fox Digital shows,” they wrote, evidently proud of their “digital detective work.”

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Republicans threaten to kill Deloitte’s federal contracts because one employee forwarded anti-Trump DMs from JD to Washington Post

Republicans in Congress are threatening to cancel consulting firm Deloitte’s contracts with the federal government because one employee, an old friend of Mike Pence replacement JD Vance, shared with the Washington Post a June 2020 Twitter messages conversation in which Jaydee wrote “Trump has just so thoroughly failed to deliver on his economic populism (excepting a disjointed China policy),” that he thought “Trump will probably lose” the 2020 election (he did), and that Jaydee had “already turned down my appointment from the emperor 😉,” that last one in response to the Deloitte guy asking if “Emperor Trump” had ever offered him a White House job.

For that offense Breitbart doxxed the guy – almost certainly directly sourced from JD himself, who would have his own end of the conversation in his Twitter account – and now Deloitte, which employs 457,000 people and has $3 billion in contracts with the Defense Department, HHS, and other massive government agencies, is (possibly) under threat after Don Jr kept amping it up and Trump ballsucker Missouri Senator Eric Schmitt tweeted “We’re not forgetting this… This is outrageous,” and saying Deloitte “should immediately and publicly respond to this scandal.”

Jaydee spokesworm William Martin said it’s fair game in a statement to the Post. “The moment [Deloitte employee] Kevin Gallagher chose to leak his private communications to The Washington Post, he went from a private citizen to a willing participant in the political arena,” Martin said. “When he made that decision, he dragged Deloitte Consulting into the political arena with him.”

Don Jr agreed, saying in a statement in which he called a Post reporter a “scumbag,” that “Kevin Gallagher had a right to leak the communications, Washington Post had a right to print them and as a private citizen I have a right to speak my mind about where my tax dollars go.”

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Most Capitol Hill staffers think Harris will defeat Trump

A new this Punchbowl News survey of “senior” Congressional staffers finds 72 percent of respondents believe Vice President Kamala Harris will defeat convicted felon former President Trump in the Electoral College next month – and that 77 percent think the Dems have more momentum in the House and Senate. By partisan breakdown, 46 percent of Republican aides see Harris winning and 55 percent see Dems as having more momentum in the race for Congress, while 99 and 100 percent of Dems see a Harris win and more momentum on Capitol Hill, respectively.

Not sure if it really means anything. But hard to see it meaning nothing either. While we can’t say this is true, it’s quite easy to imagine that the staffers, being extensions of members/senators themselves, are privy to their bosses’ campaigns’ internal polling – for which the pollsters are most certainly also testing the presidential race – and the “vibes” from their contituents.

“Nearly all (96 percent) of senior staffers think the Harris-Walz presidential ticket will help Democrats in other races… Republican senior staffers thought quite the opposite about their party’s ticket. Almost half of GOP respondents (46 percent) think Trump and VP nominee Sen JD Vance (R-Ohio) will harm Republicans down the ballot,” Punchbowl writes, letting the finding speak for itself rather than interpreting it. Maybe this is because their ultra-plugged-in Beltway reader base don’t need it interpreted for them, but who knows. The down-ballot fear does come across as sincere: a Republican staffer is worried about having to find a new job because their incumbent boss loses a race that would have been winnable if not for Lord Orange at the top seems believable enough.

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MAGA Scientologist probably actually believes his own bullshit

Scientologist and Trump fanboy Grant Cardone, previously famous for his failed effort to crowdfund the half-billion dollar judgement convicted felon former President Trump owes the State of New York for having run a fraudulent enterprise, probably actually believes this shit about the government controlling the weather rather than just inciting the kind of rubes who donated their meager earnings to pay off a “billionaire” politician’s debts. We say this because Cardone is a Scientologist, and thus believes that human psychological problems are caused by “thetans” – the ghosts of trillions of aliens that were imprisoned by the galactic Lord Xenu 75 million years ago and sacrificed by being immolated on board one of dozens of golden spaceships that looked exactly like Boeing 747s as they were intentionally crashed into Mauna Loa in Hawaii and then those alien ghosts were again imprisoned and brainwashed by Xenu before he released them into the aether… Yeah weather control does seem like that big of a stretch if you believe all that Xenu stuff.

Of course he could be just pretending to believe both. That’s entirely possible here.

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Nobel 2024 Medicine Prize a devious trap for antivax “experts”

The Nobel Prize Committee on Monday rolled out the first of its 2024 laureate slate, awarding scientists Victor Ambros and Gary Ruvkun the gold medal for Physiology or Medicine in recognition for their discovery of microRNA, a cellular component completely different from “messenger ribonucleic acid” (mRNA) that was used to develop some of the “deadly” COVID-19 vaccines.

The details aren’t all that important. What is 100 percent guaranteed to happen is that at least one right wing “health expert” will immediately see “microRNA,” confuse it for “messenger RNA” because they’re not actually “experts,” and then call for another bloody jihad against the Nobel Prize Committee for (again) having endorsed “Faucism” and “population control” and all that bullshit.

It’ll be fun. Just look for “mRNA” to trend again on Twitter and Truth Social later this morning.

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Hurricane Milton dead set on Florida Peninsula: NHC

“Milton continues to produce a central dense overcast with cloud tops colder than -80C, and since the last advisory a small ragged eye has been present. Satellite intensity estimates have increased to the 80-100 kt range, and based on this the initial intensity is raised to 85 kt… The track guidance is in good agreement that the hurricane will cross the Florida Peninsula, but there remains significant differences in both the location and timing of landfall… The new forecast track calls for the center to reach the Florida west coast between 60-72 h in best agreement with the ECMWF and the multi-model consensus. It should be noted that the average NHC track error at day 3 is around 100 miles, and users should not focus on the exact track. After landfall, Milton should turn more eastward as it becomes extratropical,” says the latest advisory update from the National Hurricane Center.

“For the first 36 h or so, Milton should be on an environment of moderate shear over warm sea surface temperatures. Thus, steady to rapid intensification is expected, and the intensity forecast continues to call for the cyclone to become a category 4 hurricane. After 36 h, Milton is expected to encounter a much less favorable environment with strong shear and dry air entrainment. Therefore, some weakening is anticipated before the hurricane reaches the Florida Gulf coast. However, the system is still likely to be a large and powerful hurricane at landfall in Florida, with life-threatening hazards along portions of the the coastline. After landfall, Milton should weaken and start extratropical transition, which should be complete by 96 h,” the advisory continued.

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Someone’s panicking at 2:44 AM

“The the GREAT people of North Carolina are being stood up by Harris and Biden, who are giving almost all of the FEMA money to Illegal Migrants in what is now considered to be the WORST rescue operation in the history of the US. On top of that, Billions of Dollars is going to foreign countries!”

“NORTH CAROLINA HAS BEEN VIRTUALLY ABANDONED BY KAMALA!!! DROP HER LIKE SHE DROPPED YOU – VOTE FOR PRESIDENT DONALD J TRUMP” posted convicted felon former President Trump at 2:44 AM on Monday. Note the “VIRTUALLY.”

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So we guess we’re the ones lying to you then

It will only be moments before the community note is pinned to this post from a 2016 address at the Council on Foreign Relations on the dangers of geo-engineering.  The technology former CIA Director John Brennan discusses–Stratospheric aerosol injection–is a theoretical way to reduce the effect of climate change over the long term; it doesn’t control the weather and it’s not a current technology being used.

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Preacher Johnson admits Tragic Tangerine’s FEMA lies

“The streams of funding are different,” Preacher of the House Mike Johnson says reluctantly on the Fox propaganda network to hostess Shannon Bream after she points out the danger lies about FEMA funding are causing in hurricane stricken areas.  “That is not an untrue statement,” he adds, unable to say the words “Trump lied.”

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Iranian commercial air travel screwed up worse than Southwest

Iranian officials canceled all commercial overnight flights on Sunday through at least Monday morning, ABC News reports, a move that could be prompted either as a signal of pending additional missile strikes toward Israel or a precautionary measure to prevent commercial flights from being accidentally hit with anti-aircraft defense systems.

A spokesman for Iran’s Civil Aviation Organization said all flights were canceled until at least 8 a.m. local time Monday, saying it was only “due to operational restrictions.”

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Thom Tillis walks line between nodding at racist MAGA conspiracy bullshit and that FEMA is actually responding to North Carolina

Good of North Carolina Senator Thom Tillis to compromise with the hateful white nationalist conspiracy horseshit being spread by convicted felon former President Trump and his minions but ALSO give a little shout out to the actual truth that the federal government is doing what it can to help his constituents struggling in the wake of the devastation wrought by Hurricane Helene.

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South Carolinans can set shit on fire again: Forestry Commission

Word is out and things are about to get HOT up in Greenville and Spartanburg Counties in South Carolina, as the state Forestry Commission on Saturday announced, as of 6AM Sunday, residents can set shit on fire again without fear of being prosecuted for starting a massive conflagration.

“The State Forester’s Burning Ban will be lifted for Greenville and Spartanburg counties, effective at 6 am Sunday, Oct 6. The Forestry Commission is lifting the ban after evaluating conditions in these counties and in consultation with county fire officials. The ban will remain in place for Aiken, Greenwood and Saluda counties until further notice. The ban was issued Tuesday to ease the strain on firefighting personnel and law enforcement officials – from both the Forestry Commission and from local fire departments – many of whom were dispatched to affected areas to assist with road clearing, damage assessment and related cleanup. Citizens who plan to burn storm debris in the counties no longer affected by the ban must make notification to the Forestry Commission, take proper precautions and conduct safe outdoor burning, staying with the fire until it is completely out”

Sucks for residents of Aiken, Greenwood and Saluda counties. No reckless pyromania for them yet.

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Mike Johnson falsely claims Eric Trump a “very intelligent person”

Jesus Dork Speaker Mike Johnson on Sunday bore false witness against thy neighbor and described Eric Trump as a “very intelligent person,” committing the sin of dishonesty to George Stephanopoulos. Johnson also lied about whether he would fuck around with the certification of the 2024 election if Vice President Kamala Harris defeats his Orange Lord and Savior next month.

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Chicken Big Mac debuts at McDonald’s on Thursday

“Fans have been clamoring for McDonald’s Chicken Big Mac – a twist on the original Big Mac that has been a fan favorite since 1968 – to debut in the US. After making appearances on McDonald’s menus around the world, US fans are now getting their chance to experience this limited time offer starting Oct 10, at participating locations while supplies last. ‘With the introduction of the Chicken Big Mac, we’re excited to pay homage to one of our most iconic menu items, the Big Mac, and introduce it to a whole new generation of fans,’ said Tariq Hassan, Chief Marketing Officer at McDonald’s. ‘By tapping into some of our fans’ biggest passions from dupe culture to live-streaming, we’re able to serve up more than just a sandwich. There truly is something for everyone to enjoy in this campaign and we’re bringing experiences that will surprise and delight them, all before the Chicken Big Mac hits restaurants,'” says McDonald’s in a press release more about a “dope” and “fly” marketing campaign for “urban, trendy” dickwads than the actual goddamned Chicken Big Mac.

It seriously better not just be fucking McChicken patties switched in for the “beef” patties. It probably is though. That would be so on-brand for McDonald’s to just mix together two items already on their menu and market it as “new.” The fact that there’s no “grilled” option is a tell that they’re going to go with the cheaper, lower-quality chicken product on their menu. If the patty is a smaller version of the full price crispy chicken sandwiches then yeah, this could be decent.

But McDonald’s guilty until proven innocent here. No marketing bullshit will save them.

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Cheryl Hines to divorce Bobby over Trump endorsement

Actress Cheryl Hines, still holed up in Italy, is angrier at her dipshit husband Robert F Kennedy Jr over his pledge of fealty to convicted felon former President Trump than she is about his sexting relationship with reporter Olivia Nuzzi or his ongoing affairs with other women and is likely to file for divorce in the near future, the Daily Beast reports on this endless drama.

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Lara Trump tells Dana Bash to do her own research

Totally meritoriously-hired RNC co-chair Lara Trump on Sunday womansplained to CNN’s Dana Bash that Lara’s home state Senator Thom Tillis is totally wrong when he says FEMA is helping people out in North Carolina, telling Bash she can “go online” to see examples of Tar Heel staters complaining that their lives are in ruin and they haven’t been getting assistance from the government.

Lara also got peeved at Bash for asking her why Trump said “So what?” when told that Vice President Mike Pence was nearly lynched on January 6th, 2021, complaining that Bash is just trying to stir shit up when “you have dog and cat euthanization rates at an all-time high” and there are people out there who miss the safety and security they felt when her demented father-in-law was president and because. Then Bash asked if the obese convicted felon would accept the result of the election if he lost, to which Lara answered with the conditional “if it’s a free and fair election” company line. It was all really not a good use of Lara’s time. Might’ve even cost Donald some votes.

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Harris and Walz launching media blitz

With under a month left before the big day Vice President Kamala Harris and Minnesota Governor Tim Walz are hitting the airwaves this week, with Harris going on The View, The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, and the Howard Stern Show just on Tuesday, on top of her Monday 60 Minutes election special interview and Thursday’s Univision town hall, per CNN’s Brian Stelter.

Sunday is when Harris’s “Call Her Daddy” podcast interview drops while Walz will sit for an interview on Fox News Sunday with Shannon Bream later this morning and Jimmy Kimmel on Monday.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

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