FBI Director K$H Patel seems to have no problem with public officials using taxpayer K$H frivolously and for their own personal benefit. Or maybe just when that public official is him as the Daily Beast reports the 45 year-old children’s book author-turned-top federal law enforcement official used the Bureau’s plane to fly to College Station, Pennsylvania over the weekend to watch his 26 year-old country singer girlfriend Alexis Wilkins perform at, uh, halftime (?) of the Real American Freestyle (RAF) pro-wrestling event. Not very complicated story short, former agent turned anti-FBI podcaster Kyle Seraphin matched an Instagram post from Wilkins at the event showing her with K$H to public flight logs for Patel’s FBI plane, N708JH, landing in Pennsylvania Saturday before heading to Wilkins’ hometown of Nashville. It then continued on to Texas, where presumably K$H got some FBI stuff in.

“On 10/28/25 a wreck occurred on I59 near mile marker 117. This was a truck carrying Rehsus monkeys from Tulane University. The monkeys are approximately 40lbs, they are aggressive to humans and they require PPE to handle. The monkeys carry hepatitis C, herpes, and COVID. Tulane University has been notified and will send a team to pick up the monkeys tomorrow (the ones that are still caged),” the Jasper County, Mississippi Sheriff’s Department posted on Facebook Tuesday.

In an update edited into the same post at some point later, department officials wrote that “there are 3 monkeys still on the loose after the officials from Tulane were able to get inside the truck and get a correct count. Officials from Tulane arrived this evening rather than tomorrow as previously reported. We are doing our best to update the public, but we are still in the midst of gathering all pertinent information. We will continue to release updates as we get more information.”

The thrilling minute-by-minute hunt later continued with “All but one of the escaped monkeys have been destroyed. We have been in contact with an animal diposal company to help handle the situation. Mississippi Wildlife and Fisheries is also on site with our local law enforcement. We are continuing to look for the one monkey that is still on the loose.” The sheriff’s department officials did not elaborate on what “destroyed” meant specifically, though “shot their heads off with a Glock semi” would seem the most likely method and means of spanking this monkey problem.

The above headline is the entirety of a now-deleted Wednesday Truth Social post from convicted felon President Trump, timestamped just over two hours ago at 9:47 AM EDT, or 10:47 PM in South Korea where the president is currently stopping on a leg of his tour of east Asia. Trump did not compose another post correcting himself and finishing the thought that those of us opposed to his politics should not dare hope was the product of a sudden, catastrophic heart attack or stroke.

Convicted felon President Trump’s regime on Wednesday ordered DC US Attorney Judge Box-o-Wine, aka Jeanine Pirro, to place on leave two of her top prosecutors, Carlos Valdivia and Samuel White, a disciplinary move that sources tell MSNBC’s Ken Dilanian was for their sin of submitting to a court a sentencing memo accurately describing the events leading up to the June 29, 2023 arrest of then-fugitive Capitol rioter Taylor Taranto near former President Barack Obama’s house in the capital’s Kalorama neighborhood, while armed, dangerous, and fully ready to spill some blood.

Those “events”? “On June 29, 2023, then-former President Donald Trump published on a social media platform the purported address of former President Barack Obama. Taranto re-posted the address on the same platform and thereafter started livestreaming from his van on his YouTube channel,” says the sentencing memo which, it should be noted, recommends 27 months in federal prison minus time served. Taranto has been in jail for the past 28 months. So he’ll walk free if the judge accepts the recommendation – one that also should be noted carries the imprimatur of Box-o-Wine’s approval, if not her actual signature. Meaning that either she didn’t read it – likely given that she’s an alcoholic and doesn’t actually care what her team puts in these memos – or she did and failed to anticipate that her Obese Fuhrer would take exception to contributing to a failed attempt to assassinate his predecessor by constantly posting bullshit on Truth Social that he also didn’t read.

If there’s any consciousness of guilt on Donald’s part it is solely directed at the two federal prosecutors and not within. The actual post, a link to an April 1, 2017 edition of the the Phyllis Schlafly newsletter containing the Kalorama address of the Obamas’ DC home that Taranto intended to attack, has not been deleted. So really it’s just them taking the heat for this. If Trump, Pam Bondi, and/or Todd Blanche etc are angry with Pirro over her negligence, be it stupidity or laziness, it seems unlikely she’s going to face any similar consequences that will surface in public reporting.

This jackass literally just said “The polling continues to show that the approval of Republicans in congress is rising with each passing day” as though that’s somehow an accomplishment that advances progress toward ending the shutdown and governing the United States.

A year after shattering conventional attitudes toward bacon and infusions with the utterly seismic debut of the Cinnamon Toast Crunch “Cinnadust”-seasoned 12 oz pre-cooked weight packs of HORMEL® BLACK LABEL® Bacon, the alchemists at the processed food conglomerate are at it again with a whole new collab. From a Hormel press release: “Two flavor powerhouses, HORMEL® BLACK LABEL® bacon and Frank’s RedHot®, have joined forces to ignite taste buds with a bold new limited-edition product – HORMEL® BLACK LABEL® Frank’s RedHot® flavored bacon. Available now for a limited time, each hardwood-smoked strip is crafted to deliver crispy perfection layered with savory depth and a bold burst of heat that fans of both brands will instantly recognize and crave.”

“To celebrate the launch, fans are encouraged to participate in the #OnEverythingChallenge, starting Tuesday, Oct 28, by sharing their wildest food mashups featuring bacon and hot sauce on social media. Think spicy bacon ice cream, bacon-wrapped pickles, even bacon-infused cupcakes.”

“Bacon plays a larger-than-life role in consumers’ lives. It’s more than food. It’s a symbol, a feeling, an experience. That’s what the makers of the HORMEL® BLACK LABEL® brand believe. First established in 1963, the HORMEL® BLACK LABEL® brand is the fastest-growing bacon brand in America and continues to push the bacon world forward, offering a portfolio of flavor-forward products that no other brand can match,” the superlative-laden war cry continued.

This week’s Economist/YouGov national survey finds approval of the October 18th No Kings protests at a decent enough 49 to 33 percent among respondents overall, the nationwide demonstrations were very deep underwater with Trump 2024 voters at 17 percent approve to 72 percent disapprove, with the remaining 11 percent not sure if the approve or disapprove of the movement.

The net negative 55 percent approval rating from the president’s supporters is a large red flag the organizers of the No Kings movement have their work cut out for them if they want the next protest to be more agreeable to MAGA voters. Constructive suggestions could include allowing ICE agents to break the noses and then pepper spray a randomly-selected one of every 50 No Kings protestors over the age of 60 and there’s only so far that this sarcasm can go because lol what a freaking silly question for a national poll. Of course they (mostly) weren’t going to “approve” of 7 million mostly liberal Americans taking to the streets to challenge the legitimacy of their Lord and Savior.

That 17 percent did is just bizarre and it’s anyone’s guess as to why. On the question of whether they participated in the rallies, 3 percent said yes, they did turn out but there are plenty of Trump voters who now regret it – just as for whatever reason 5 percent of former Vice President Kamala Harris’s voters disapproved of the protests. Maybe it’s as simple as assuming most of the pro-No Kings Turmp voters were in favor because they think it made libs look stupid and annoying.

The barbarians are no longer outside the gate, they’re inside.

Just look at Mamdani's support among foreign-born voters.  He wouldn't have a chance at winning if it were only native-born New Yorkers voting. pic.twitter.com/ckqOSpVO2R

— Congressman Randy Fine (@RepFine) October 28, 2025

“Attorney General John Formella announces that Nick Moorhead (age 55) of Northfield, New Hampshire, pled guilty in Franklin District Court to one class B misdemeanor count of unlawfully removing political signs, contrary to RSA 664:17. Mr Moorhead had removed political signs from the front yard of a private residence in Northfield prior to the November 5, 2024 State General Election.”

“The Court imposed a $250 fine plus $60 penalty assessment, for a total penalty of $310. Pursuant to Part I, Article 11 of the State Constitution, Mr Moorhead’s right to vote in New Hampshire is terminated unless later restored by the New Hampshire Supreme Court,” said the New Hampshire Attorney General’s office in a statement Tuesday, disenfranchising the libtard for his crimes.

Buried under the contorted headline of “NH man pleads guilty to removing political sign,” Boston 25 News makes it clear that Moorhead was indeed caught on camera removing and kicking Trump 2024 signs from a MAGA neighbor’s lawn multiple times in August and September of last year.

Bravely, even heroically, as one can get within the confines of anonymity and thus protection from political retribution for questioning the wisdom of the Holy Orange Messiah, an unnamed Republican senator tells Semafor that if the Supreme Court does not make the constitutional no-brainer call and decide to nuke convicted felon President Trump’s unilateral imposition of tariffs on the American people, then “Congress doesn’t have a role in determining what constitutes an emergency. This president, and future presidents, will take it upon himself to creatively define and redefine that.”

The senator – a member of a majority too chickenshit to publicly meaningfully assert its constitutional birthright and actual responsibility to serve as a separate and coequal branch of government – then added “This should be Congress’ call if you’re increasing taxes on the American people through tariff policy. We are the ones who dictate tax policy. This is a form of taxation.”

On Tuesday – after the Semafor story was printed – five Republican Senators voted yes on Senate Joint Resolution 81 “terminating the national emergency declared to impose duties on articles imported from Brazil”: Moscow Mitch, Rand Paul, Susan Collins, Lisa Murkowski, and Thom Tillis. The chances that any of those five are the anonymous senator quoted above are extremely slim given their previous public statements making plain their opposition to the fat bastard’s tariff regime.

Transgender rabbi booted from Biden WH headlines pro-Mamdani ad ahead of Election Day https://t.co/oEhNooE4an

— Fox News (@FoxNews) October 29, 2025

A California federal judge on Tuesday ruled that Acting US Attorney for the Middle District of California Bill Essayli is serving unlawfully and disqualified him from the position.

The US Senate on Tuesday voted 52 to 48 to pass Joint Resolution 81, a measure to terminate convicted felon President Trump’s stupid tariffs on Brazil, which Mike Johnson will not be taking up.

Brainwormed idiot Secretary of Health and Human Services Robert F Kennedy Jr last summer ordered the Centers for Disease Control to study the potential adverse health effects of offshore wind turbines, Reuters reports on the Trump Regime’s latest attempt to put an imprimatur of government authority on the deranged obsessions of their gravely mentally ill liege.

It’s not like Bobby’s ever said anything about wind turbines. In fact it’s easy to imagine him rolling his eyes and telling top CDC officials “Just look busy on the offshore wind turbines thing. Whatever we’ve gotta do to make the Old Man think we’re going to validate his ridiculous theories while we conduct the real science of proving that fluoride in toothpaste is making children turn trans.”

Convicted felon President Trump’s regime is ordering military officials involved with ongoing operations in/around Venezuela and the greater Latin American region to sign non-disclosure agreements, Reuters’ Phil Stewart reports on this most Trumpian of stupid bullshit gestures.

First off, military officers involved in these kinds of operations have all already signed what’s called a SF-312 Classified Information Nondisclosure Agreement, so it’s redundant. If these new NDAs are instead trying to impose some kind of civil penalty for breaking it – and what else is supposed to be the enforcing mechanism – well then it’s also meaningless because courts have repeatedly ruled that government personnel cannot be held to a personal NDA like they’re Google employees.

So yeah it sure sounds like the fat bastard is signaling that he’s going to be ordering troops to commit war crimes and thinks that the same kind of document he gets pornstars to sign after he effs them for two minutes max is going to deter any leaks of extralegal operations in Latin America.

BREAKING NEWS: Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu said he has ordered the army to immediately carry out "powerful strikes" in Gaza, in a new test for a U.S.-brokered ceasefire. pic.twitter.com/TtZBBPjl30

— NEWSMAX (@NEWSMAX) October 28, 2025

Christ, these assclowns. How is it still a “ceasefire” when there’s actual fire? Nobody with a functioning brain thought this was ever going to last and now the fanboys are going to be pissed at “Bibi” for ruining their Orange God Emperor’s historic achievement. A smarter version of this cult would’ve kept the goalposts firmly planted on the release of the 20 remaining living Israeli hostages who’d been abducted by Hamas during the October 7th, 2023 attack. Trump suckered Hamas into giving up that last real piece of leverage and it will be a very, very long time before they’ll have that many Israeli hostages again. Probably never, really. That was a big deal and it won’t be undone, so maybe the MAGA propaganda-industrial complex should’ve hyped that real, historically-significant achievement over brokering a “permanent” ceasefire that didn’t even last into the next month.

No fewer than 25 states on Tuesday – Kentucky and Kansas included under Dem governors Andy Beshear and Laura Kelly, respectively – signed onto a pretty solid case filed in a Massachusetts federal court against convicted felon President Trump’s regime’s stated plan to simply cut off the disbursement of SNAP benefits to recipients nationwide during the shutdown to create political pressure on Democrats, arguing that the money’s already been appropriated, the Reich is statutorily bound to disburse it, and that the USDA has $6 billion in reserve that can be applied to the program.

In the complaint the Dems point out that the USDA website has a banner that says “Senate Democrats have now voted 12 times to not fund the food stamp program, also known as the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP). Bottom line, the well has run dry. At this time, there will be no benefits issued November 01. We are approaching an inflection point for Senate Democrats. They can continue to hold out for healthcare for illegal aliens and gender mutilation procedures or reopen the government so mothers, babies, and the most vulnerable among us can receive critical nutrition assistance” which, in addition to being sub-Fox News-level horseshit, directly contradicts the official memos that claimed they actually do have money lying around, but cited some made-up legal justification for not sending it out to SNAP cards on Saturday.

White nationalist Georgia Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene on Tuesday spoke up during the House GOP’s conference call on Tuesday and, per Punchbowl’s Jake Sherman, said “she is tired of people listening to the White House political staff,” adding that she wants Senate Majority Leader John Thune to finally nuke the filibuster for good and get the government reopened already.

Speaker Mike Johnson then expressed displeasure with the comment, as well as Greene’s recent shitposting about him and the party’s shutdown strategy. “How does that help us, Marjorie?”