Sources tell Reuters that Vice President Kamala Harris has narrowed her running mate decision down to two finalists, Pennsylvania Gov Josh Shapiro and Minnesota Gov Tim Walz. The announcement and first joint appearance for Harris-Walz 2024 or Harris-Shapiro 2024 will come at a Tuesday rally in Philadelphia. And yeah that might indicate that it’s going to be Shapiro but the campaign is still based in nearby Wilmington, Delaware, so it doesn’t definitely mean Shapiro.

A new survey of Pennsylvania voters conducted by Trump campaign internal pollster Fabrizio and Lee finds convicted felon former President Trump tied at 48 percent each or 45 each with the full field of Russian assets Robert F Kennedy Jr, Cornel West, and Jill Stein included as options.

It gets better. Not so much the data in the poll itself or even the pollster, really.

Longtime Biden economic advisor Gene Sperling is leaving the White House to take on a senior role on Vice President Kamala Harris’s campaign policy team, the Associated Press reports

A selection of posts Monday by an Adderall-addicted 78 year-old with a social media account:

💊 “TRUMP CASH vs KAMALA CRASH!” at 10:02 AM EDT.

💊 “KAMALA CRASH!” at 10:01 AM EDT.

💊 “Thank you!” at 10:00 AM EDT (“Retruth” of his reply to a “Greatest president of all time” meme).

💊 “VOTERS HAVE A CHOICE — TRUMP PROSPERITY, OR THE KAMALA CRASH AND GREAT DEPRESSION OF 2024, NOT TO MENTION THE PROBABILITY OF WORLD WAR lll IF THESE VERY STUPID PEOPLE REMAIN IN OFFICE. REMEMBER, TRUMP WAS RIGHT ABOUT EVERYTHING!!!” at 9:59 AM EDT (Fun fact: The “III” in “WORLD WAR III” is actually three lowercase Ls).

💊 “Of course there is a massive market downturn. Kamala is even worse than Crooked Joe. Markets will NEVER accept the Radical Left Lunatic that DESTROYED San Francisco and California, as a whole. Next move, THE GREAT DEPRESSION OF 2024! You can’t play games with MARKETS. KAMALA CRASH!!!” at 9:45 AM EDT, and yes it appears he’s connecting it to poll numbers.

As of 10:27 AM EDT on Monday the DJIA had pared back its opening losses by about 200 points.

The Dow Jones Industrial Average opened Monday to a decline large enough for certain actors in media and politics to declare that “it’s 1929 all over again” again, as stocks were pummeled by fears that the current administration’s economic policies had sufficiently caused enough damage to investor confidence to make it feel as though saying a second Great Depression is imminent was fresh again. It’s been probably at least a year or two since the last time those actors made such claims and – in what was likely a recognition that too frequent usage would dull its political utility and salience – they had collectively decided to shelve it for a more opportune occasion.

The DJIA was down 1,209 points or 3.04 percent to 38,527 at 9:43 AM EDT on Monday, per CNBC.

And that’s why you were fired and can’t get hired anywhere else with stupid takes like this. https://t.co/1iIGBeOPSi

— Trump War Room (@TrumpWarRoom) August 5, 2024

The component of the Trump campaign communications team billed as the “Official War Room account of the 2024 Trump campaign. This account punches back 47x harder,” was tasked with a rapid response to former CNN political analyst Chris Cillizza’s take Monday morning, unloading on the pundit – known for insights such as brilliant as “Yes, it’s Republicans’ fault Congress is so polarized” and the prescience to identify the “Pickleball voter” as an emerging key electoral demographic – about 47 times harder than “Trump is playing zero-dimensional chess.”

It’s not clear what prompted the Trump staffers to elevate the opinions of the author of a Substack blog he christened “So What?” after departing CNN. Or, to shed our tedious sarcasm, of course he’s fucking lame but what does that say about the state of the Trump campaign if they’re getting mad at this intellectual equivalent of an adult mayfly for his dull, low-calorie take?

“STOCK MARKETS CRASHING. I TOLD YOU SO!!! KAMALA DOESN’T HAVE A CLUE. BIDEN IS SOUND ASLEEP. ALL CAUSED BY INEPT US LEADERSHIP!” posted convicted felon former President Trump Sunday, clearly thrilled by the mere potential for economic hardship being wrought upon Americans.

Incredibly for Trump, it’s also logically consistent with his prior claims of credit for stock market gains over the last year, such as a January 29th post in which he wrote “THIS IS THE TRUMP STOCK MARKET BECAUSE MY POLLS AGAINST BIDEN ARE SO GOOD THAT INVESTORS ARE PROJECTING THAT I WILL WIN, AND THAT WILL DRIVE THE MARKET UP – EVERYTHING ELSE IS TERRIBLE (WATCH THE MIDDLE EAST!), AND RECORD SETTING INFLATION HAS ALREADY TAKEN ITS TOLL.”

Hence this is no longer “THE TRUMP STOCK MARKET” because his campaign is issuing lengthy memos about why a CBS News/YouGov poll finding Kamala Harris with a 1 percent lead is fake.

The fat bastard also reposted several memes from his fans that were quite low in their graphic design production value and bearing messages such as “No Trump, No America. Simple as that” and then “WE THE PEOPLE DEMAND JOE BIDEN FREE THE JAN 6TH HOSTAGES – RETRUTH IF YOU AGREE” and also “KAMALA HARRIS REFUSES FOX NEWS SEPT 4 DEBATE WITH DONALD TRUMP IN PENNSYLVANIA BECAUSE FOX WON’T GIVE HER THE QUESTIONS.” The meme notably did not rule out that Fox News would give Trump his questions in advance of the unlikely-to-happen debate.

In the New Yorker profile printed Monday that brainwormed independent presidential candidate Robert F Kennedy Jr had been trying to get out in front of the prior evening, a source tells contributor Claire Malone that in 2014 Bobby Jr had been driving around upstate New York on a falconry outing when he came across a dead baby bear on the side of the road and… Important context here: This was roughly two years after he sat for a divorce deposition and told the attorneys a worm had gotten into his brain and died after eating a portion of it circa 2010.

Bobby put the carcass in the trunk of his car and then got the idea that it would be funny to dump the body in Manhattan’s Central Park to make it look like it had been roaming the park and then killed by a cyclist, the moral of the anecdote is evidently that RFK Jr is a sick freak.

Chinese-made humanoid robots raise alarms in Congress: ‘Stealth army on our land’ https://t.co/0FadNMA5DN pic.twitter.com/ny99ppPdrc

— New York Post (@nypost) August 5, 2024

In a stunning capitulation, Bangladeshi Prime Minister Sheikh Hasina on Monday resigned amid violent protests against her rule and fled the capital city of Dhaka by helicopter as an angry mob stormed her official residence and the army announced an interim cabinet, the BBC reports.

Hasina, who had ruled since 2009 and in January had extended her regime in a rigged election, was reportedly headed to the Indian city of Agartala while Army chief General Waker-Uz-Zaman was set to address the nation on the next steps for installing probably some sort of civilian puppet regime.

At least 300 people had been killed in violent clashes in recent weeks over what had began as a student-led protest against quotas in civil service jobs that had ended up metastasizing into a wider anti-government movement and nationwide unrest calling for Hasina’s resignation.

“Potentially historic heavy rainfall across southeast Georgia and the coastal plain of South Carolina through Saturday morning will likely result in areas of catastrophic flooding. Heavy rainfall will likely result in considerable flooding impacts from portions of central and northern Florida and across portions of central and northeast North Carolina through Saturday morning. There is a danger of life-threatening storm surge along portions of the Gulf Coast of Florida, with 6 to 10 feet of inundation above ground level expected somewhere between Ochlockonee River to Yankeetown through the morning. Residents in the Storm Surge Warning area should follow any advice given by local officials,” says a National Hurricane Center bulletin issued Monday.

“Hurricane conditions are expected this morning along portions of the Florida Big Bend region where a Hurricane Warning is in effect. Tropical storm conditions are expected to continue for several more hours farther south within the Tropical Storm Warning area along Florida’s west coast, including the Tampa Bay area. Dangerous storm surge and wind impacts are expected along portions of the south east US coast from northeastern Florida to North Carolina through the middle of the week, and storm surge warnings and tropical storm watches and warnings are in effect for these areas.”

“Biden lost the Debate, and was down for the count, so they TOLD HIM TO GET OUT OF THE RACE, A Coup, and installed Crazy Kamala. What happens when she loses the Debate, and goes down. Will they replace her with yet another candidate??? Unprecedented disaster for the USA. A real THREAT TO DEMOCRACY!” posted convicted felon former President Trump on Sunday, guaranteeing a win in a debate matchup he refuses to show up for. Also replace the word “DEMOCRACY” with “Trump” and the last part makes it crystal clear where the fat bastard’s head is actually at right now.

In a subsequent post Trump wrote “Record performance for a Republican, ME, with Hispanics!” over a screenshot of a poll result showing Harris leading him 51 to 44 percent among demo. It was a crosstab from Latino respondents to the CBS/YouGov poll his campaign just called fake.

“The Fake News Media continue to help dangerously liberal Kamala hide her record of economic failure and soft on crime policies. Now, as this analysis shows they’ll even put a finger on the scale of polling to inflate results for her. This analysis is why the American people are seeing through it and will not allow this national gaslighting campaign to win. Despite this manipulated result, from CBS/YouGov it’s worth noting that in July and August of 2020, their data showed Biden leading by 10 nationally, reflecting a net positive movement of almost +10 to President Trump this election cycle,” says Trump campaign douchebag Brian Hughes in a statement at the top of a lengthy memo breaking down the Harris 50 – Trump 49 national survey‘s alleged flaws in sampling and weighting.

Ughhhhh… They could be 100 percent correct in this analysis for all we know. It could be an absolutely devastating indictment of CBS/YouGov’s sampling practices. Lord knows we’ve done the same thing here on more than one occasion before Biden dropped out. That doesn’t mean any MAGA trolls who might’ve seen our cope were wrong to deride it. We were definitely coping.

Thing is however we’re just National Zero and not a fucking major party presidential campaign. This is a cry for help and at this point, if we’re going to go with the old DHS “terror alert level” color code of the early 2000s, then it’s definitely (no pun intended) an “Orange Alert” inside the Trump campaign. They’re absolutely unambiguously freaking the fuck out now, no question.

Michigan Secretary of State Jocelyn Benson’s office has opened an investigation into edgelord billionaire Elon Musk’s insane voter registration scam where his PAC set up a portal that’s supposed to direct people to their state’s registration system though in Michigan and five or six of the other battlegrounds it simply has them fill out an information form, CNBC reports.

“Every citizen should know exactly how their personal information is being used by PACs, especially if an entity is claiming it will help people register to vote in Michigan or any other state,” the Michigan Secretary of State’s office told CNBC. “While the America PAC is a federal political action committee, the Department is reviewing their activities to determine if there have been any violations of state law. We will refer potential violations to the Michigan Attorney General’s office as appropriate.”

An ally of convicted felon former President Trump tells CNN that Donald’s “campaign seems complacent. There is no ground game that we can see – no media operation,” in a length piece running down increasing anxiety among the fat bastard’s minions. Another says of his deranged attacks on Kamala Harris’s background: “He’s never going to back down now – he can’t admit he was wrong. You’re going to see them double, triple down now,” which is kind of sad when you think about it… In a general sense, not in a sense like it’s be sad if it makes things worse for him.

Another line plucked from Trump’s unhinged Saturday night rally in Atlanta – which the Harris campaign believes they drew a bigger crowd at the same venue a few days earlier – where the dumbass said “We have to work hard to define” Harris, like he thinks insider-y Punchbowl-reading strategist speak makes him sound smart to his dipshit fans who get their news from Catturd tweets.

This was a fucking disaster for Byron Donalds. Trump’s going to sue George Stephanopoulos again after utterly annihilating this stupid asshole’s attempts to hairsplit his Orange God Emperor’s questioning of Vice President Kamala Harris’s background at the NABJ train wreck this week.

South Carolina Senator Tim Scott on Saturday tied the knot with fiancee Mindy Noce, just three weeks after his one true love chose someone else to be his partner, the Greenville News reports.

Sources on Vice President Kamala Harris’s campaign tell CNN that they understood that ABC News would provide some form of airtime to the veep on the night of the September 10th debate whether or not convicted felon former President Trump grabs his balls and honors his agreement to face President Biden, though it’s not clear yet where ABC lands on this hypothetical Harris-only plan.

The most similar recent situation we have is actually both pretty recent and similar-ish: ABC canceled a GOP primary debate set for January 18th in New Hampshire after former South Carolina Governor Nikki Haley said she would only show up if Trump would. Donald of course fucked off, then Haley did, and ABC for obvious reasons did not want Ron DeSantis and two empty podiums.

But Kamala Harris is not Ron DeSantis and we would put it well north of 50-50 that they end up giving her the time one way or another. We’re wondering if Harris should – provided ABC would go along with it – pull some kind of stunt like offering the fat bastard’s spot to Libertarian nominee Chase Oliver. There’s not much to be gained by an empty podium if the format’s going to be exactly the same as the CNN debate where she’s going to have to answer tough questions without having Trump there as contrast (not trying to underestimate her, she could very well end up crushing it anyway, though). If that calculus says there are significantly more votes out there – ones that will never be sold on Kamala but can be flipped from Trump to Oliver – than she’d risk losing to Oliver then it maybe it’d be worth it to elevate and legitimize him for a nationally-watched debate.

National Association of Black Journalists leadership on Saturday informed members that ABC News correspondent Rachel Scott got death threats from MAGA terrorists after asking convicted felon former President Trump all sorts of incisive questions in Wednesday’s interview that the fat fuck’s campaign team cut off early because it was such a train wreck, NPR’s Eric Deggans reports.

Fun and pretty useless fact about National Zero: The “MAGA Land” format of collecting comments from right wing sites for content is almost as old as the site itself, making its debut on June 26, 2020, just two days after the soft launch. The first was only the 23rd article out of now 36,997.

Even though more recent editions tend to be lengthier compendiums of top comments than one-shots like above, the format’s remained remarkably consistent and steady when so much else about this site has changed from those copypasta days… and of course the political situation along with it.

You know how easy it was in those days to find comments like that. The readers of PJ Media, Breitbart, Gateway Pundit, Town Hall, so on and so forth were letting their Orange God Emperor’s declining popularity get to them. Canonically “MAGA Land” was the vox populi of that tier of trashier right wing sites and it only was relatively recently that a lengthy roundup would incorporate tweets by right wing politicians, media figures, and influencers. It wasn’t a stretch since most of those people are as fucking dumb and deranged as the nameless trolls in the comment threads.