“The Deal with the Islamic Republic of Iran is now complete. Congratulations to all! I hereby fully authorize the toll free opening of the Strait of Hormuz, and, simultaneously herewith, authorize the immediate removal of the United States Naval blockade. Ships of the World, start your engines. Let the oil flow!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Sunday, notably neglecting to include the actual terms of this supposed deal and just how much he gave away to the Ayatollah’s regime.

This event is about celebrating America’s unmatched greatness after 250 years — which apparently doesn’t sit well with the friendless loser who wrote this bullshit clickbait headline.

Rain or shine, we’re celebrating our great country no matter what. GOD BLESS AMERICA! 🇺🇸 https://t.co/NSvJooLAtz

— Rapid Response 47 (@RapidResponse47) June 14, 2026

Two of convicted felon President Trump’s minions tell Axios they think New York Times reporters Maggie Haberman and Jon Swan have obtained authentic recordings from meetings held in the White House situation room given that preview excerpts have included quotes of such meetings.

“We’re afraid some of our most sensitive conversations were being recorded,” said one of the minions. “And we have no idea which ones.” No Trump Regime officials have actually disputed any of the excerpts that have come out yet and, naturally, “President Trump is furious about the blow-by-blow accounts” Axios writes of the Iran and Epstein debacles in previews the the Times printed.

“This morning’s attack on Beirut should not have happened, particularly on a special day when we are so close to a Peace Deal with Iran. Israel has the right to defend itself against threats, but the attack it was responding to was very small and meaningless, nobody was hurt, injured, or killed, and should not disrupt this important process. We are very close to a Deal that will bring peace to the region, including to Lebanon, and all sides should stand down. There should be no more attacks by Israel anywhere in Lebanon, but there should also be no more attacks by any other party, including Hezbollah, against Israel. This could be the beginning of a long and beautiful peace – Let’s not blow it!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Sunday

Early returns in the Saturday referendum launched by right wing nationalists aimed at capping Switzerland’s population at 10 million show the ballot measure on track to lose by about a 46 to 54 percent margin, the AP reports. The batshit plan would have seen the government required to restrict asylum, family reunification, residency permits, as well as scrap the country’s free movement agreement with the EU. Even with a fail it’s unlikely to be the last such try.

Spurs about to dunk on Knicks like Texas has been dunking on New York.

Go Spurs Go 🔥👽 pic.twitter.com/xYvHdUPAoF

— Greg Abbott (@GregAbbott_TX) June 1, 2026

Given that construction workers put up a fucking curtain on the scaffolding so nobody could watch convicted felon President Trump’s name be physically removed from the building, there’s no way to “certify” whether the letters are actually gone yet, thus ABC News reports DC federal Judge Christopher Cooper on Saturday morning granted an extension until noon for construction workers to remove the curtain. This is all so very fucking stupid and funny at the same time.

Questioned by Reuters on whether they’ve gotten any firm commitments from convicted felon President Trump on spending the requisite decent chunk of his $350 million war chest to support Picasso-faced Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton and not lose a safe seat for the next six fucking years at least, a bravely anonymous member of the caucus says “the assumption is that he is.”

“I think he should. He put his foot on the scale for his candidate that won. So we are assuming that he will,” the GOP senator added. So no, there hasn’t been any commitment. This after they lit $92 million on fire trying to protect John Cornhole Cornyn from Pax only for Trump to endorse Dirty Ken.

Symbolism holds a lot of value in politics. It gives meaning to the traditions that create feelings of continuity and permanence in a world that sees orators, wonks, hucksters, heroes, wheelers, dealers, statesmen, conmen, bosses, leaders, ranks, files, and everything in between come and go as the bridge from one generation to the next across decades of public service in the halls of power or flame out and get run out of town by their peers even faster than George Santos was.

Sometimes the gap between symbolism like, say, a party mascot, and lived material reality, such as the presence of a live circus animal portraying that party mascot for the obscene whims of a particularly extreme and fatuous state chapter of that national party, becomes basically nonexistent.

And yeah the headline already said what happened at the Texas GOP’s convention on Friday, a live elephant wearing a banner bearing Gov Greg Abbot’s reelection campaign logo non-symbolically pissed on the floor as it was paraded into the convention hall, much to the laughter of the attendees whose party symbolically pisses on Texans every minute it holds its deeply entrenched power.

The work on assembling the scaffolding required for this crew to reach the letters they’re about to remove was already halfway done at 12:53 PM EDT on Friday when DC federal Judge Chris Cooper issued his order rejecting the Regime’s last-minute bid for a stay as follows: “Defendants’ Motion for a Stay of Permanent Injunction Pending Appeal is hereby DENIED. ‘A stay pending appeal is an extraordinary remedy’ and may only be granted if the traditional stay factors are satisfied.”

“Defendants have not carried their burden to establish that a stay of the Court’s May 29, 2026 permanent injunction concerning the Kennedy Center’s renaming is warranted pending an appeal of the underlying ruling to the DC Circuit… These efforts undermine the notion that Defendants face irreparable harm in complying with the order in full. The failure to demonstrate irreparable harm is ‘fatal’ to a movant’s stay request.” TLDR is that Cooper said they can put the stupid letters back up if and when the appeals court rules in their favor… which is proooooooobably a long shot at best.

DC federal Judge Amit Mehta – a nerd who eats low double digits of protein a day – decided he didn’t want to get his butt kicked in the appellate octagon so he tapped out of blocking President Trump’s birthday battle royale on the White House lawn. LFG! YEAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

White House Axios Secretary Barak Ravid on Friday told real reporters via Twitter that President Trump told him that he expects a peace deal with Iran to be signed over the weekend or on Monday.

Secretary Ravid did not calibrate his message to manage expectations, as that is not really his responsibility as the Administration’s Axios Secretary is more focused on crafting press releases delivered in bullet point form via Axios.com, a privately-owned news website. Be smart.

I will be putting forward a resolution to void the fraudulent impeachment of President Trump during his first term in office.

Russia collusion never happened. This has been proven by evidence released by ODNI Gabbard. It was a terrible lie that tore this country apart, and was…

— Rep. Anna Paulina Luna (@RepLuna) June 12, 2026

ELECTION INTERFERENCE! Some fascist communist Republican election official in Alaska on Friday ruled Dan Sullivan is ineligible to run for Senate in November, because she’s totally in the tank for incumbent pussy-ass bitch Republican MAGA Senator Dan Sullivan! THIS ISN’T AMERICA!

Seriously. According to Alaska Public Media this hag state Elections Division Chief Carol Beecher wrote “Based on a review of the evidence presented and in the Division’s possession, the Division has determined that the preponderance of evidence does not support your eligibility for the office of United States Senator,” without citing literally any of the evidence she supposedly has against him to support said “preponderance.” The finding is preliminary, and maybe just a scare tactic.

“The terms that Iran leaked out to the Fake News have NOTHING to do with the terms that were agreed to, in writing. What they said, including their weak and pathetic statement on having a deal, bears no relation to the truth. Very dishonorable people to deal with. With them, there is no such thing as dealing in good faith. AMAZING! Also, their totally rebuffed Drone attack last night against Indian Ships leaving the Hormuz Strait is TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE. They better get their act together, and FAST!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Friday while making no effort to actually correct the record. What was it that one idiot was saying about Lucy and the football?

Evidently a Denny’s Grand Slam Breakfast with an additional tall stack and four extra butters wasn’t suffice for Florida Congressman Randy Fine to help bring comfort amid the waning public faith in the supremacy of his supreme deity this morning so instead he expressed his troubles openly, pleading with all to know that, through Trump, all wishes and desires and fantasies seem closer to being.

Evidently having mostly paid attention to an audiobook about Germany in the mid-1930s he had on in the background while playing NHL 26 on his Xbox, FBI Director K$H Patel this week put those lessons to work and ordered his agents to raid the Cleveland offices and subpoena staff members of the Ohio Organizing Collaborative, a Buckeye State voting rights organization dedicating to registering all the wrong kinds of citizens to participate in democracy, MS Now reports.

“They had agents all across the state going to civil rights and community leaders’ doors intimidating them, coming and demanding that they talk about literally anything they would ask,” OOC board member Prentiss Haney said, adding agents “asked them if they’re committing voter fraud, just on their doors, in front of their houses with their children, and just following them to work and school.”

At no point anywhere in the article is anything within miles of a statutory violation identified – not even so much as a something something secretly taking money from China or the Taliban – with MS Now simply writing that their sources inside the Trump Regime’s FBI and DOJ “briefed on the search said they are concerned this new effort in Ohio is part of the Trump administration’s efforts to sow doubt and distrust in voting integrity in key swing states ahead of the midterm elections.”

Meaning that if there’s some similar, smaller scale org in a deep Red State like Idaho or a larger one in a deep Blue State like Oregon, then they need not worry about any such acts of performative harassment because there’s no race that’s going to make or break the GOP’s Senate majority.

Shahram Mokhtari and Arthur Shi, corporate repair tech leads for global franchise chain shop iFixit performed a necropsy of a $500 Trump T1 phone and have thus conclusively identified exactly which cheap piece of shit Chinese budget Android model the T1 is a reskin of and landed on a genuinely unexpected answer: That the base model, the HTC U24 Pro, retails for $450, a surprising price point possibly indicating that the Trump boys are selling their not that cheap phone at a loss.

“The spring finger contacts on the flash hadn’t moved at all; instead, the flex cable was simply lengthened in what amounts to nothing more than a cosmetic change. There was one other small cosmetic change: the speaker grille. The aluminium chassis, while almost identical, has holes that are machined out with a slightly different pattern,” Mokhtari and Shi write in their report which you can absolutely click on the link above to read if you enjoy such minutely-detailed phone jargon.

For those less-interested, the bottom line is that this particular scam does not in the most commonly-held understanding of industrial capitalism appear to be particularly lucrative for the Trump boys. Key words there being “commonly-held understanding” as there’s probably some “understanding” in which some other party eats the losses while they collect their fee no matter what happens with the phone’s sales – which the two mobile device eggheads write that, against pretty much everyone’s expectations, “is actually well priced compared to the equivalently specced 512GB U24 Pro, and the only things you give up are the 60W fast charging and your dignity.”

A government agency spending $300 million in taxpayer dollars to produce sterilized flies sounds like a dream scenario for a DOGE team looking to cut waste, fraud, and abuse. https://t.co/3lGn15PndO

— NEWSMAX (@NEWSMAX) June 24, 2025

Oh wait. Shit. Turns out this was an old tweet and now the whole outbreak is Biden’s fault. Maybe Newsmax should get around to deleting this one to bring it in line with the current narrative.

A slim majority – 54 percent – of self-identified Evangelical respondents to Reuters/Ipsos’s June national survey say they oppose convicted felon President Trump’s stupid war in Iran as “not in line with their understanding of Christianity,” which maybe you can at least sort of credit as not being fully a gas prices thing since a slightly slimmer majority at 51 percent also said Stephen Miller’s quasi-genocidal immigration policies were similarly “not in line” with their Christian-ish-ness.

“Trump’s approval rating among evangelicals stood at 52 percent in the latest poll, down from 61 percent in August but well above his 35 percent approval rating among all US adults,” Reuters writes of the declining holy miraculousness of the Orange Messiah among the corrupted idolators.