“Dreamers throughout this country are serving in our military, teaching in our classrooms, and leading our small businesses as entrepreneurs. They are our neighbors, classmates, and loved ones. Our nation is fortunate that America is their home. Thanks to Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals (DACA), more than 800,000 Dreamers have been able to live, study, and work in the only home they have ever known while making our nation a better place. It is why I fought to defend and protect DACA as Attorney General of California and a US Senator from California.”

“Now as Vice President, I have worked alongside President Biden to take steps to preserve and fortify DACA. Today, we are building on this progress by ensuring DACA recipients also have access to affordable health care, which will improve the health of all communities. This announcement will bring relief to more than 100,000 people and help them thrive while working to achieve their aspirations. President Biden and I will continue to do everything in our power to protect DACA, but it is only a temporary solution. Congress must act to ensure Dreamers have the permanent protections they deserve,” says Vice President Kamala Harris in a statement.

Panama’s Supreme Court on Friday rejected a challenge to the candidacy of leading presidential candidate and former Security Minister José Raúl Mulino with just two days to go before the May 5th election, likely clearing his path to the Central American country’s top office, the AP reports.

Mulino had been selected as the “Achieving Goals” Party’s candidate after their nominee, former President Ricardo Martinelli, was kind of sentenced to 10 years in prison for money laundering last year and thus constitutionally barred from holding public office. It took a March ruling by Panama’s electoral commission to deem Martinelli, who’s been hiding in the Nicaraguan embassy since February, to be disqualified. After the party picked Mulino, Marinelli’s running mate, an attorney named Karisma Etienne Karamañites mounted a challenge Mulino’s eligibility on the grounds that he had not been nominated by the party’s primary voters. Los Supremos saw it differently.

In a night of results portending a brutal general election for British Conservatives, the Labour Party swept a whole host of local elections across England and Wales on Thursday, with the Tories losing at least half of the council seats they had been defending in the races called so far, the BBC reports.

In what’s probably even a a graver sign for Prime Minister Rishi Sunak, a special parliamentary election in Blackpool South to replace Conservative MP Scott Benton, who resigned after getting caught in a lobbying sting operation, saw a 26 percent swing to Labour candidate Chris Webb.

Colorado Secretary of State Jena Griswold was having none of Trump lawyer Robert Ray’s bullshit Thursday night on CNN when Ray falsely claimed she was one of the plaintiffs who attempted to remove fat former President Trump from the ballot in the Centennial State when in fact she had nothing to do with the original case and in fact was (in her official capacity), a defendant in the case.

A state is making a special accommodation for Joe Biden, and it’s in a Deep Red state.  Republican Alabama Governor Kay Ivey signed a bill after it was passed unanimously by the Republican-controlled state house ensuring Joe Biden will appear on the state’s November ballot, NBC News reports.  But the move wasn’t to counter a rogue MAGA Secretary of State determined to rule Biden ineligible.

Instead, it had to do with the calendar.  Just as with Ohio, Alabama state election regulations require the Parties to provide the Secretary of State with its nomination certification 82 days before the November election date.  Unfortunately, the Democrats scheduled their convention after that deadline, on August 19th-22nd, 75 days before the election.  With Ivey’s signature, the deadline for the Secretary of State to get the certification is now August 24th.

“Joe Biden will be on the ballot in all 50 states,” a campaign spokesman said. “Election after election, states across the country have acted in line with the bipartisan consensus and taken the necessary steps to ensure the presidential nominees from both parties will be on the ballot. And this election is no different.”

From a Manhattan courtroom, Day 10 of Donald Trump’s criminal election interference hush money trial introduced audio evidence where the jury got to hear Donald Trump himself talk about paying hush money to one of his mistresses weeks before the 2016 election.  The trial’s seventh witness, Douglas Daus of the District Attorney’s Office technical unit, took the stand.

• Court opened Thursday with prosecutors alleging Trump violated the gag order four additional times on top of the nine violations identified Tuesday.
• Prosecutors say they are not seeking jail time for Trump for gag order violations–yet.  
• Stormy Daniels’ and Karen McDougal’s former lawyer, Keith Davidson, returned to the stand and described Cohen’s efforts to reach him as “frantic” and “pants-on-fire” after the Access Hollywood tape was released.
  Read More ▶ “Trump Trial Day 10: “What do we got to pay for this?””

Affected South Carolina Republican Senator Lindsey Graham said during a panel on artificial intelligence that the FBI recently confiscated his cell phone after he fell prey to a phisher scammer disguised as a message from Majority Leader Chuck Schumer, NBC News reports.

Speaking at super-evil sounding The Hill and Valley Forum, an event where technology leaders, innovators and lawmakers discuss issues, Graham said, “I get a message, I think, from Schumer.  And it ain’t from Schumer.  And the next thing you know, my phone is… I don’t know. Anything you can create apparently can be hacked.”

Graham’s office confirmed that the FBI took possession of the phone, noting that the Senate Sergeant at Arms was investigating the phone hack as well.  Neither Graham nor his office could specify if Graham answered a call, a message or an email.

Fox “News”–a network that earned those quote marks 787.5 million ways–host and Trump advisor Laura Ingraham is annoyed–very, very annoyed–at CNN hosts accurately quoting a Michael Cohen tweet in which he refers to Donald Trump as “VonShitzenPants.”  Ingraham acts indignant as she mockingly repeats the network’s legendary tagline:  “This is CNN?”

Manhattan District Attorney Alvin Bragg confirmed New York officials are investigating a gunshot fired by a police officer as the NYPD was called in to clear pro-Palestinian protestors from a university building on the Columbia campus Tuesday night, TheCity reports.

No one was injured by the shot, and the weapon was not aimed at anyone when it was discharged, according to officials.  Officials said the officer’s gun discharged while police were in a different part of the building from the demonstrators and the shot did not appear to be intentional.

Likely started by “flash-bang” grenades used by officers, reports of gunshots spread through the crowd that had gathered to watch the NYPD raid the building as the raid on Tuesday night, but later, individuals reported hearing a single gunshot.  The fact that an officer fired his gun had not been confirmed until Bragg’s statement.

Initial estimates of the replacement cost for the Francis Scott Key Bridge in Baltimore, destroyed after a loaded cargo carrier struck a bridge support, stand between $1.7 and $1.9 billion, the Baltimore Banner reports, with the project expected to take until Fall 2028.

The news of the cost comes as crews recovered the body of the fifth victim of the March 26th accident that occurred after a container ship lost power and drifted into the bridge, causing the structure to collapse in seconds.  The body of 49-year-old Miguel Angel Luna Gonzalez was found inside the wreckage a work truck uncovered in the mangle of metal on the riverbed.  The body of the sixth victim has not yet been found.

In response to the horrific story of Kristi Noem murdering a family dog and a goat, House members from both Parties have formed the Congressional Dog Lovers Caucus, Politico reports, with Democrats Jared Moskowitz of Florida and Susan Wild of Pennsylvania joining South Carolina’s Republican attention seeker Nancy Mace as first members.

“Dogs are the only thing on earth that loves you more than they love themselves. Their joy to live brings together Americans from all walks of life and can help nourish bipartisanship in Congress,” Moskowitz said in a statement.  Known for his masterful trolling of Republicans, Moskowitz released an animal welfare-styled political ad attacking Noem.

“Steve, a little breaking news here on your show,” QAnon officer and disgraced former national security professional Mike Flynn tells also disgraced polyshirt fetishist Steve Bannon.  “I received eight–count ’em, eight–subpoenas last night, okay.  So these people are going to do everything they can, these Marxists, this communist takeover of the United States of America.”

Trump: I’m not allowed to testify. I’m under a gag order pic.twitter.com/4qeH81ERWo

— Acyn (@Acyn) May 2, 2024

Chickenshit criminal defendant Donald Trump on Thursday either laid the groundwork for or just outright backed out of testifying in his defense at his trial, using the gag order as an excuse even though it does not actually preclude him from testifying in any way, shape, or form.

Arizona Governor Katie Hobbs on Thursday signed into law a repeal of Arizona’s draconian 1864 abortion ban just weeks after the state Supreme Court ruled it remained in effect.

Bankrupt (in multiple ways) former Trump attorney and not coincidentally co-conspirator Rudy Giuliani spent more than $120,000 for personal expenses in January despite pledging to a bankruptcy court to limit his spending to “just” $43,000 per month, the New York Times reports.

In a plan given to the court in January as he sits on more than $150 million in debt, Giuliani provided an outline of his spending including $5,000 in alimony payments to his last ex-wife and $13,000 for nursing home expenses for his mother, who later died in March.  Giuliani did not budget anything for entertainment, subscriptions, or club memberships.

Giuliani’s reality, however, was different, and it’s pissing off the multitude of creditors he has.  After first submitting incomplete records as part of required court documentation, Giuliani then filed accounts for January showing more than 60 Amazon transactions, multiple car service rides, various entertainment subscriptions, and more than two dozen American Express transactions.  Curiously, one of the expenses Giuliani lists is paying off a business associate’s debt; what assets Giuliani used to pay that person’s debt is unclear.

“Contrary to the FAKE NEWS MEDIA, I don’t fall asleep during the Crooked DA’s Witch Hunt, especially not today. I simply close my beautiful blue eyes, sometimes, listen intensely, and take it ALL in!!!” posted fat former President Trump during a Thursday break in his trial/naptime.

In related news, before getting back to hearing testimony, the tired old man’s lawyers asked Judge Juan Merchan if a stack of printed opinion pieces by Jonathan Turley and the other MAGA assclowns were okay for Trump to share on Truth Social, the implication being that the pieces probably contain criticisms of witnesses like Stormy Daniels and Michael Cohen, bitching about the jury pool, and more conspiracy bullshit about former DOJ official-turned-Manhattan prosecutor Matthew Colangelo. Per Just Security’s Adam Klasfeld, Merchan simply said he’s not going to give rulings in advance and “When in doubt, steer clear” of posting any of that bullshit.

Cuck pic.twitter.com/TdvcQPu9WV

— Stew Peters (@realstewpeters) May 2, 2024

Here’s a non-comprehensive list of various Republican “establishment” figures that have appeared on the very Nazi-ish streamer Stew Peters’ show: Mark Meadows, Congressmen Paul Gosar, Andy Biggs, and Pete Sessions, Kari Lake, Charlie Kirk, Kash Patel, George Santos, and Robert F Kennedy Jr… even if he’s technically not a Republican… But you know, “Libs are the real antisemites!”

GB News anchor Narinder Kaur on Thursday filed a police report against British far right dickbag Laurence Fox after he tweeted a paparazzi’s old pic of Kaur sitting in the back seat of a car not wearing any underwear, apparently a criminal offense now that the UK has outlawed upskirting and that very photo in particular was ordered removed from the internet, The Mirror reports.

Fox is a former actor who just about an hour ago tweeted “I can’t wait to see the Marxists blood boil when we have him back. The best president since Reagan and the finest living stand up in one perfect marmalade coloured hero” about fat Donald, just so you know what kind of guy he is.

Fat former President Trump faces another contempt hearing Thursday morning on four separate gag order violations he committed last week. Then testimony from former Stormy Daniels lawyer Keith Davidson resumes in Donald’s criminal 2016 election interference trial, building towards hotly anticipated bits from former lawyer Michael Cohen and Daniels herself. Not clear which goes first.

An unspecified number of House Republicans, four of them actually quoted, tell Semafor they’re not particularly concerned with Marjorie Taylor Greene‘s vow to use their votes against vacating Jesus Dork House Speaker Mike Johnson as a purity test in still-ongoing primaries and in November.

“Even if it did, I wouldn’t care,” Texas Congressman Jake Ellzey – who already won his primary on Super Tuesday and thus does not have to worry – said in response to a question of whether backing the speaker could cost him the votes of disaffected Catturd followers who hate Johnson. “There is no support for this.” Freedom Caucasians chair Bob Good, a far right asshole who faces a possibly tough primary challenge back home in Virginia (one backed by Greene and at least four other incumbent House Republicans) for the sin of having endorsed Ron DeSantis before switching back to Trump, is at least not outwardly worried about the “distraction,” saying “We have a three-vote margin. We should be focused on reelecting President Trump. This does not help President Trump.”

Former Nikki Haley backer South Carolina Republican Ralph Norman similarly brushed off any potential backlash. “In this business you get some happy, you can get some mad. That what comes with the territory,” said Norman. “Moderate” shitbag Don Bacon said Greene and antisemite Thomas Massie’s Wednesday presser was “just two people being dumb and hurting the whole team.”

A “senior GOP aide” told Semafor that even if “the crazies won’t like” members siding with Johnson, it wouldn’t be a “nail in the coffin” for any of them. And goddamn it, that an anonymous high-level staffer describes the Republican base as “the crazies” should’ve been the lede here because it says so freaking much about the relationship between GOP leadership and the Americans whose votes they rely on to maintain their power. Opportunity cost is such a cruel and unforgiving bitch.