French President Emmanuel Macron on Monday lifted the state of emergency for the distant Pacific island territory of New Caledonia in an effort to allow political dialogue to continue following weeks of massive unrest and arson that left at least seven people dead, the Associated Press reports.

New Caledonia’s top French official, High Commissioner Louis Le Franc, said Monday that a nightly curfew, bans on sales of booze and public gatherings, and security patrols will remain in effect, but movement of elements of the Kanak nationalists and other pro-independence factions will be permitted. The shitshow, just the latest in a long history of political unrest in the distant outpost that sits about 900 miles northeast of Australia, stemmed from the approval of a new local voting law that allows any French citizen to vote in local elections if they’ve resided in the archipelago for 10 years – a change widely seen as aimed at further diluting the political power of the indigenous Kanaks amid the Metropolitan French government encouraging whites to relocate to New Caledonia.

Jason Aldean's wife Brittany ‘knows the drill’ when it comes to country star ‘lifestyle’ https://t.co/5UDjG30HPy

— Fox News (@FoxNews) May 28, 2024

On this Memorial Day, we have to remember those who sacrificed all for the future of this country, and when we say “those,” we mean one person:  Donald John Trump.  (The first one, not the knock-off.)  To honor the man’s sacrifice, we checked in on the GoFundMe campaign set up by the wealth fund manager’s wife allowing ordinary people to pay the nearly half-billion-dollar judgment.

The fundraiser has stalled at $2 million for more than two weeks, well short of goal.  And the beneficiary of the crowdsourcing is no longer to pay down the assessment levied by the State of New York, but instead, donations will go to Trump’s legal defense fund, Patriot Legal Defense Fund.  At least some of Trump’s lawyers are getting paid.

With ongoing legal bills partially paid by donors and a looming half-billion-dollar judgment donors can’t pay hanging over his head, penniless papaya Donald Trump continues to unload assets to get cash.  According to the Daily Beast, the latest is the 1997 Cessna he sold to Iranian-American real estate developer Mehrdad Moayedi, a major GOP donor.  FAA records show the transfer was completed on May 13th.

Moayedi has donated the maximum amount of $5,600 to the campaign and gave a combined $245,000 to the Trump Victory Fund.  In the past, he’s given hundreds of thousands to other Republicans like Nikki Haley and Ted Cruz, as well as Republican-lite Kyrsten Sinema.   The “book value” of the jet is $10 million.  While he was in office, Trump and/or his company sold more than $115 million of real estate holdings most of which were done to anonymous companies.

North Korea’s state media reports that Kim Jong-un’s planned second spy satellite will need additional assembly after the rocket it sat atop exploded shortly after launch, CBS reports, and South Korea’s Joint Chiefs of Staff report debris falling in the waters off North Korea.

North Korea launched its first spy satellite in November after two failed attempts.  After that, Kim told North Korea’s ruling party members that the country would launch three spy satellites in 2024.  With this one now off-line, the definition of a “North Korean spy satellite” might include destroyed rocket detritus by the end of the year.

Disgraced former President Trump’s lawyers on Monday responded to Justice Department special counsel Jack Smith’s request for MAGA Judge Aileen Cannon to impose a gag order on the fat fuck over his lies about an “assassination attempt” during the August 2022 Mar-a-Lago raid, demanding Cannon strike Smith’s motion and to impose sanctions of the prosecutors for even asking.

“President Donald J Trump respectfully submits this procedural opposition to the May 24, 2024 filing by the Special Counsel’s Office, which improperly asks the Court to impose an unconstitutional gag order on President Trump, as a condition of his pretrial release, based on vague and unsupported assertions about threats to law enforcement personnel whose names have been redacted from public filings and whose identities are already subject to a protective order. For the reasons set forth below, in light of the Office’s blatant violation of Local Rule 88.9 and related warnings from the Court, the Court should strike the Motion, make civil contempt findings as to all government attorneys who participated in the decision to file the Motion without meaningful conferral, and impose sanctions after holding an evidentiary hearing regarding the purpose and intent behind the Office’s decision to willfully disregard required procedures,” wrote Trump’s shitbag lawyers.

JUST IN: Former President Donald Trump is currently crying like a bitch on social media, plaintively wailing and moaning about “going before a Corrupt and Conflicted Democrat Appointed, Acting New York Judge, on a FAKE and MADE UP CASE by a Soros backed failed DA, and the Judge himself, to see whether or not he will become a common criminal? According to virtually all Legal Scholars and Experts, THERE IS NO CRIME OR CASE against President Trump, and if there was it should have been brought seven years ago, not in the middle of his Campaign for President. Prosecutorial Misconduct. Election Interference!” after also having posted shit like “Happy Memorial Day to All, including the Human Scum” and “Can anyone believe that Soros backed DA, Alvin Bragg, was able to get a DELAY of 7 days to his Corrupt and Unconstitutional Case against me, with no sequester?”

This is such an unprecedented situ- Wait, he’s probably typing more about being a victim of persecution by the forces of George Soros and the Democratic-biased Deep State. Stay tuned.

UPDATE 5/27/2024 6:29 PM EDT: Trump continued crying, in one post saying “WHY IS THE CORRUPT GOVERNMENT ALLOWED TO MAKE THE FINAL ARGUMENT IN THE CASE AGAINST ME? WHY CAN’T THE DEFENSE GO LAST? BIG ADVANTAGE, VERY UNFAIR. WITCH HUNT!” lol

The average price of a gallon of regular unleaded gas on Memorial Day over the last 10 years, per GasBuddy.com’s Patrick DeHaan – noting that of course prices were down in 2020 due to COVID:

2024: $3.55/gallon
2023: $3.66/gallon
2022: $4.93/gallon
2021: $3.54/gallon
2020: $2.31/gallon
2019: $3.46/gallon
2018: $3.70/gallon
2017: $3.06/gallon
2016: $3.03/gallon
2015: $3.63/gallon
2014: $4.82/gallon

Not that much higher now than it was in 2019, the year that everything was just perfect. Actually cheaper if you account for inflation, but that’s not really the flex you might think it is.

Mona Liza Million is no longer just a stage moniker for Eric Posey, the Idaho drag performer who won a $1.1 million defamation judgment against a conservative blogger who falsely claimed he exposed his genitalia during a Pride Month performance at a local park, ABC News reports.  The jury awarded $926,000 in compensatory damages for defamation and $250,000 in punitive damages.

Blogger Summer Bushnell posted a video she had downloaded showing the June 2022 which she altered to blur out the performer’s crotch and then posted that Posey had exposed his genitals.  In the video, however, Mona Liza Million wore a long-sleeve leotard, black shorts and tights, with a shiny metallic boa around his waist through the entire performance without removing any clothing.

Although she admitted on the witness stand that she never saw any exposed genitals in the video, Bushnell posted the altered video on her blog, along with commentary about 31 members of the Patriot Front who were arrested at a demonstration against the Pride event. “Why did no one arrest the man in a dress who flashed his genitalia to minors and people in the crowd? No one said anything about it, and there’s video.  I’m going to put up a blurred video to prove it.”

At least one Egyptian solider is dead after exchanging gunfire with Israeli troops at the Rafah border crossing into the Gaza Strip on Monday, the Times of Israel reports citing a confirmation from the IDF command.” A few hours ago there was a shooting incident on the Egyptian border, the [incident] is under investigation, dialogue is taking place with the Egyptian side,” the IDF said in a statement on the not very good sign for deescalation in the region.

"Who will hang next week, Trump or the jury?" (@TheHillOpinion) https://t.co/z90SNU88Ka

— The Hill (@thehill) May 27, 2024

Yeah this tweet is probably not long for this world, even if it is mildly snappy in practice and much more so just incompetent, possibly even criminal, editorial oversight. Oh well.

Bill and Hillary Clinton will host a “mega-fundraiser” for President Joe Biden’s with former Virginia Governor Terry McAuliffe on June 18th, Axios reports on something something money laundering.

The Justice Department fined a Virginia tech company that posted an online recruitment ad that sought only white applicants but notes that the information shouldn’t be “share[d] with candidates,” WTOP in Washington, DC reports.

As it posted on Indeed and other online recruitment sites, Arthur Grand Technologies sought “only US Born Citizens [white] who are local within 60 miles from Dallas, TX [Don’t share with candidates].”  That’s how they wrote it, bracketed text and all, according to the DOJ’s press release announcing the outcome.  Currently with around 160 employees of unknown hues, Arthur Grand also vows to provide further training for their employees, particularly in the human resources department, who should already know better.

Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. can’t find a political party that will allow him to carry their flag.  After leaving the Democratic Party, RFK Jr. tried to latch on to the so-far leaderless Libertarian Party, which roundly rejected the potential courtship of the Tempramental Tangerine Donald Trump on Saturday.  Kennedy was booted in the first round of nominations.

If you’re interested in watching the boredom, the Libertarian Party National Convention is being broadcast live, and it’s as exciting as you’d think it would be.  In the sixth round of voting, Chase Oliver got 49.53% of the vote, while challenger Michael Rectenwald got 44.73% of the delegate vote.  Donald Trump, Robert Kennedy, football analyst Dan Marino, and two other also-rans each got one vote.  Given that they did not get to 50% for any candidate, they’re still trying to figure things out.

According to the US Code [36 U.S. Code § 301], the only people who may properly salute during the National Anthem are those in uniform and those members of the military and veterans not in uniform.  All others are to stand solemnly with their hands over their hearts.  Donald Trump is not a veteran, and without his red tie he’s out of uniform.  Oh, and it’s “Amazing Grace” playing, not the National Anthem.

“The reason I didn’t file paperwork for the Libertarian Nomination, which I would have absolutely gotten if I wanted it (as everyone could tell by the enthusiasm of the Crowd last night!), was the fact that, as the Republican Nominee, I am not allowed to have the Nomination of another Party” posted disgraced former President Trump on Sunday, as if he didn’t just urge the Libertarians to nominate him anyway, and as if the Republican Party he controls would’ve somehow stopped him.

Same post continued: “Regardless, I believe I will get a Majority of the Libertarian Votes. Junior Kennedy is a Radical Left Democrat, who’s destroyed everything he’s touched, especially in New York and New England, and in particular, as it relates to the Cost and Practicality of Energy. He’s not a Libertarian. Only a FOOL would vote for him!” Robert F Kennedy Jr has never served in elected office in New England, New York, or anywhere, so obviously it doesn’t mean shit to say he’s “destroyed” anything, anywhere. Either way, it’s beyond dispute Brainworms received a much warmer, rubber chicken-free reception at the Libertarian convention than Trump did.

The fat bastard also posted, emphasis ours, “Congressman Mike Johnson is a tremendous champion for Louisiana’s 4th Congressional District!” in a boilerplate endorsement for Johnson’s reelection to his seat. Not to any other position he may currently happen to hold just yet.

Suspected Melania Trump understudy/lawyer-ish spokeswoman Alina Habba on Sunday told Maria Bartiromo understudy and former Congressman Sean Duffy she’s worried that jurors in her fat boss’s criminal trial aren’t sequestered and might be hearing from “Trump Derangement Syndrome”-suffering friends and family and televisions tuned into “MSDNC” on in the background while at Memorial Day weekend BBQ parties. And yeah, this is just about the best she’s got right now in terms of preemptively delegitimizing a potential guilty verdict against the Orange God Emperor.

Important related note: In not one but two podcast appearances last week, former Mueller Investigation prosecutor Andrew Weissmann warned libs not to freak the fuck out if and when the jury returns a verdict and the fat bastard may end up getting acquitted on the first 10 or so counts since the evidence is slightly weaker, as Trump did not personally sign a check to Michael Cohen for those specific instances of falsification of business records. Just stick a pin in that one.

The producers of the upcoming biopic The Apprentice, about fat former President Trump’s 1970s education in ruthlessness and nihilism from master sociopath Roy Cohn, have been slapped with a cease and desist order from Team Orange which, per Business Insider, whines that since the movie’s an Irish production, releasing it would amount to “direct foreign interference in America’s elections.”

Lol. Another Business Insider article about an entertainment lawyer’s take on the threat – spoiler alert: the lawyer Camron Dowlatshahi says the film’s use of “inspired by” and not “based on true events” makes legal action a non-starter – mentions that, on top of scenes of sexual violence toward’s Trump’s late first wife Ivana and abuse of amphetamines to lose weight, the film also depicts Donald as suffering from erectile dysfunction. The scriptwriters freely admit to having not so much made it up but inferred it. Insider explains it with “While there are no reports of Trump having ED, this creative liberty could have grown out of Trump’s former longtime doctor saying the former president had been taking finasteride for hair loss, The New York Times reported in 2017. The drug can cause erectile dysfunction.” Problem with that is finasteride, aka Propecia, wasn’t approved by the FDA until 1992, making this a little bit more than simply a creative liberty in film.

Meh. The movie’s already done and seeking a distributor, so we’re not going to lose any sleep over it, especially given that it’s not that much of a stretch for the addled bastard to have Cialis in his daily pharmaceutical cocktail and to have left his partners frustrated from time to time before it was invented. Also no need to sweat such a fabrication being visited upon a demented asshole who would lie about the color of the sky if he thought he could get away with it. Sucks for him.

Sycophantic Senator Tim Scott was happy on Sunday to speak to the MAGAmericans who tried to flood the room during his Orange Allah’s disastrous speech at the Libertarian convention on the previous night, not so happy to address the vicious booing and mockery from the crowd.

At least five people are dead in Valley View, Texas after powerful storms ripped through the area on Saturday night, three of them in one trailer, the Associated Press reports.

“We do have five confirmed (dead), but sadly, we think that that number is probably going to go up. There’s nothing left of this house. It’s just a trail of debris left. The devastation is pretty severe,” said Ray Sappington, sheriff of Cooke County, near the border with Oklahoma.