With the stroke of a pen New York Governor Kathy Hochul could this week liberate millions of married Empire Staters from fear of prosecution for fucking around on the side, the AP reports.

The landmark bill, which doesn’t have a catchy acronym-based name, was passed unanimously in the state Senate after its Assembly approval, no doubt with the lawmakers’ spouses suddenly checking their phones while they’re in the shower to see why they would want to vote for such a thing, would repeal a 1907 law criminalizing violations of the sacred bond of marriage. It wasn’t used very often and the AP notes that the most recent charge was in 2010 “against a woman who was caught engaging in a sex act in a public park, but it was later dropped as part of a plea bargain.”

Cherish this newf- Oh god fucking dammit, even when this is a non-Trump article you’re all just going to write comments about Trump, aren’t you? How about Bill Clinton?!? He lives in New York and he’s a notorious adulterer too! Can’t you guys joke about him for once?!? Somebody come up with lyrics to “Dribbled on a Blue Dress” or something like that. Looking at you, GenXers.

Fat former President Trump on Tuesday called in for another deranged interview with ball-licking AM radio host Hugh Hewitt in which he twice failed to answer a direct question about whether he still supported Israel, instead saying “rhey’re releasing the most heinous, most horrible tapes of buildings falling down. And people are imagining there’s a lot of people in those buildings, or people in those buildings, and they don’t like it. And I don’t know why they released, you know, wartime shots like that. I guess it makes them look tough. But to me, it doesn’t make them look tough. They’re losing the PR war,” which was definitely not what the pro-Zionist shitbag Hewitt wanted to hear.

When asked if he thought Biden would agree to a debate – which Donald has been quite thirsty for lately after skipping the GOP primary face-offs – said he hopes so but “I think what happened is you know that white stuff that they happened to find, which happened to be cocaine in the White House, I don’t know, I think something’s going on there, because I watched this State of the Union, and he was all jacked up at the beginning. By the end, he was fading fast. There’s something going on there. I want to debate. And I think debates, with him, at least, should be drug tested. I want a drug test.” Hewitt then asked “Mr President, are you suggesting President Biden’s using cocaine?”

This is uh… We couldn’t even get past the headline and the image to start reading it. What the ever-loving fuck is going on here and in what universe is this a political news column? Holy shit…

…And it really is about Trump DJing parties at Mar-a-Lago. Holy shit. There’s even an embedded Spotify widget of “a sample Trump Spotify list, as conjured by Axios’ Noah Bressner.” Fuuuuck.

Hey everyone we found a favorable poll number for Biden so we’re going to report it here on National Zero! Yup! After we ignored those Wall Street Journal swing state polls that found Joe trailing fat former President Trump in every one of them (except Wisconsin where they were tied) we’re going to paste in a link to this Emerson College national topline finding that our guy leads the fat orange rapey guy 51 to 49 percent among likely voters for the second month in row now.

This one is not meaningless because it confirms our preexisting biases and tells us what we want to hear: That the “horserace” is trending toward Joe Biden! We’ve got left-leaning news cycles to drive here people so let’s just pretend that we didn’t call Emerson’s pollsters lying cunts with a clearly demonstrable track record of overstating GOP support relative to Dems. But don’t drop it altogether because we might want to trot it out again if and when the numbers swing back in favor of Trump.

Well back to working hard to deliver solid political journalism that purposely disregards other information unfavorable to our narrative… So check out this Franklin and Marshall survey that finds Biden leading Trump 40 to 42 and Dem Senator Bob Casey up 46 to 39 over that hedge fund douchebag David McCormick in Pennsylvania. Feels great reading that right? We like endorphins too.

Thursday morning’s edition of Politico Playbook concludes that Speaker Mike Johnson just might be kind of completely fucked given the untenable situation on Ukraine funding he faces with white nationalist QAnon psychopath Marjorie Taylor Greene holding a sword over his head and other members of the caucus saying any “coalition” deal with Democrats is a non-starter politically.

“I can tell you this for sure: If there is a motion and Democrats jump in to support Johnson, that greatly diminishes him because then he’ll immediately become the ‘uniparty’ speaker,” said a senior House Republican allied with Johnson, adding that the GOP majority as they know it would at that point be lost even before the election. “Everything would be run on suspension because people would take down rules – or they’ll do continuous motions to vacate,” the Republican continued, though Playbook notes others are saying it basically already is a coalition given that everything that has passed that has anything to do with actual governing has passed under suspensions.

Still, a formalization of this arrangement would “infuriate the GOP base,” Playbook writes as if they weren’t already constantly fucking infuriated every single minute of every single day since Barack Obama was elected president in 2008. Another problem lies with Johnson himself after five months on the job. “In private conversations in recent weeks, he’s expressed his exhaustion and complained about a lack of sleep and the demands of frequent traveling. When shit hits the fan, members say, he’ll have some soul-searching to do,” Playbook writes with the definite air of a pre-mortem.

So, Biden seeks to imprison Trump and overthrow Netanyahu, all the time accusing Trump of being a dictator who will destroy democracy and accusing Netanyahu of the crimes committed by Hamas.  Biden must be defeated or we will lose two of the greatest countries known to mankind.

— Mark R. Levin (@marklevinshow) April 4, 2024

“All of the competitors to TRUTH SOCIAL, especially those in the Radical Left Democrats Party who are failing at every level, like to use their vaunted ‘disinformation machine’ to try and convince people, and it is not easy to do, that TRUTH is not such a big deal and doesn’t “get the word out” as well as various others, which they know to be false” and blah blah blah, writes fat former President Trump, claiming his lame Twitter clone has over “$200,000,000 in CASH and ZERO DEBT.”

It’s the second of this two-part rant in which he addresses Wednesday’s reporting from the Guardian about its connections to Russian scumbags, writing “So don’t believe the FAKE NEWS. Until I came along and exposed them, they were respected and believed. Now they are the exact opposite. With the Russia, Russia, Russia HOAX. and all of the others, people get it.”

Yeah, he might be worried about those two Shvartzman assholes pleading guilty to insider trading charges on the DWAC scam, as at least one of them is connected to the Russian porn payment processing bank that lent TMTG the money they needed to stay afloat before last week’s merger.

Republican 2022 Arizona Attorney General loser and current AZ-8 US House candidate Abe Hamadeh tells the Arizona Republic he isn’t really read up on El Salvadoran autocrat Nayib Bukele’s ongoing crackdown on civil liberties, despite calling him a “philosopher king” in a Twitter post and praising him at a rally with fellow 2022 loser and current Senate candidate Kari Lake.

“I’m not aware of his methods. All I know are the results of his actions. El Salvador used to be one of the most dangerous countries in the world, to now one of the most safest in the western hemisphere. That’s a good thing. I’m not going to wade into the methods that another country employs in order to make sure that their people are safe,” Hamadeh told a reporter. “The rule of law is what we are all bound to. Of course, you can have the whim of the people wanting a dictator, but regardless, you are bound to the constitution and to the rule of law.”

On December 19th Hamadeh tweeted “Our Founding Fathers would be ashamed of us for what we’ve put up with over the past few year. As a former prosecutor I’m appalled at this lawfare. They are trying to steal your vote before a ballot is even cast. President Trump is up against the machine… and I’m honored to join the fight. 🇺🇸💪,” a statement that – among others – is sort of at odds with praise for a leader who abrogated his country’s constitution to remain in power, declared martial law, rigged elections for his party. and has jailed at least one percent of his country’s populace, so it’s kind of understandable that Hamadeh would want to play dumb about why he’s so hard for Bukele.

Federal Reserve officials will likely reduce their benchmark interest rate later this year, Chair Jerome Powell said Wednesday, despite recent reports showing that the U.S. economy is still strong and that U.S. inflation picked up in January and February. https://t.co/oo4iJimRLs

— NEWSMAX (@NEWSMAX) April 4, 2024

A new Marquette Law School national survey of registered voters finds President Biden and fat former President Donald Trump tied at of 50 percent of registered voters, while among likely voters Biden leads 52 to Trump 48 percent, a flip from a February finding of Trump 52 – Biden 48.

Presumptive Republican presidential nominee and indicted felon Donald Trump spoke to the Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia recently, according to the Washington Post, as the Biden Administration attempts to walk a tightrope in negotiations for a peace deal between the kingdom and Israel, the New York Times (gift link) reports.

The topic and exact time of the discussion is unknown, and is it unknown if the pair had spoken before.  The timing, however, corresponds with Trump’s need to find more than half a billion dollars for civil judgments in New York as he runs for the highest elected office in the United States.

As we know with his infamous call to Ukraine President Vlodymyr Zelenskyy, Trump is not above leveraging foreign policy for his political gains, and he may have asked Prince Mohammed bin Salman to drag his feet on any peace treaty to not give Biden a political victory before the election, as he demanded of Congressional Republicans with a border security bill.

The Federal Aviation Administration has opened an investigation into a March 22nd flight that was blown off its path while landing in bad weather and came within four car lengths of a control tower at LaGuardia Airport in New York, CBS News reports.

Southwest Flight 147 from Nashville was coming in for a 1 p.m. landing when the tower saw it was not on the correct path.  “Go around! Go around!” Fly runway heading, climb and maintain 2,000. Climb and maintain 2,000. 2,000,” the tower is heard telling the pilots on a recording of communications.  As the pilots pulled the plane around for another attempt, the controller in the tower radioed that the flight “was not aligned with the runway at all. It was like east of final. He was not gonna land on the runway.”

Online real-time flight tracker Flightradar24 showed the flight flew over the control tower and then over a nearby parking garage, hitting a low of 300 feet before increasing altitude.  The airport’s tower is 233-feet tall.

Apparently unclear on the concept of losing one’s law license, disgraced disbarred attorney John Eastman, one of the many professional casualties of the Trump realm, filed a motion with the California courts asking them to allow him to keep his law license active so he can fund his appeal and continue to represent clients–including Congress critters Matt Gaetz and Marjorie Taylor Greene, who sent letters of support.

“If the Order placing Dr. Eastman on inactive enrollment is not stayed, not only would it be highly prejudicial to Dr. Eastman, it would also be highly prejudicial to his clients. Dr. Eastman is a lawyer who has dedicated his career to upholding constitutional principles – it has been his life’s work,” the motion reads. “He has spent his entire career advocating for his clients, whether they be unknown individuals or public entities, in furtherance of one of the key tenets of the legal profession – that everyone deserves representation, especially in an adversarial system. … Dr. Eastman has built his professional reputation upon his representation of clients in constitutional law matters and many clients and counsel seek him out for his expertise in these matters. If the Order placing Dr. Eastman on inactive enrollment were not stayed, those clients would be harmed by depriving them of the breadth and depth of Dr. Eastman’s knowledge and prowess as a zealous advocate.”

Along with Eastman’s plea, Florida Congressman and man who likely has a lawyer on speed dial Matt Gaetz included a letter noting that he has retained Eastman, along with Marge, to represent them in a case in California where they claim their rights were violated after a town denied them a permit to protest.  The Republicans don’t believe punishments apply to them.

“My opponent, a-a-a liberal Democrat named Colin Allred is outraising Beto O’Rourke, my last opponent three-to-one,” podcaster Ted Cruz (R-Quintana Roo) panics.  “They’re flooding millions of dollars into Texas and the reason is simple.  You remember my last re-elect; it was a three-point race.  I won by 2.6% and so Chuck Schumer, his view is, he floods millions into Texas, he gains three points and that’s how they win.”

With more than 800 January 6th insurrectionists already sentenced–and more to come, including the headliners–the editorial team at National Zero opted long ago to not cover every trial and sentencing unless it dealt with something unique.  Today, we had unique:  during the sentencing of Taylor James Johnatakis, a judge appointed by Ronald Reagan noted that the convict’s diminishing of the Republican-led attack on Congress and his subsequent posturing as a victim in a “gulag” demonstrated his lack of remorse, CNN reports.

Judge Royce Lamberth chided Johnatakis for claiming, “everything about January 6 is just overblown.”  “This cannot become normal… We cannot condone the normalization of the January 6 US Capitol riot,” Lamberth responded, noting that denials of responsibility like Johnatakis’s will lead to a “vicious cycle … that could imperil our institutions” as losers of elections resort to their followers undertaking “vigilantism, lawlessness and anarchy” instead of accepting loss.

Lambeth went on to make a not-so-veiled swipe at Trump, saying the attack was a “selfish, not patriotic” act.  “There can be no room in our country for this sort of political violence,” Lambeth said before sentencing Johnatakis to more than seven years.

Host of the Verdict with Ted Cruz podcast Ted Cruz, who moonlights as a member of the United States Senate (R-Quintana Roo), claims that he doesn’t get paid to host his podcast Verdict with Ted Cruz, but the distributor of Ted Cruz’s podcast Verdict with Ted Cruz gave the host’s PAC more than $630,000 in 2023, KTRK ABC-13 in Houston reports.

The distributor, iheartmedia, made the contributions to the Truth and Courage PAC, a curious name for a PAC whose sole purpose is to reelect a man who fled Texas during a snowstorm and lied about it.  That man, incidentally, hosts a podcast called Verdict with Ted Cruz.  iheartmedia told the Houston Chronicle the money came from ad revenue generated by the podcast, which would mean Cruz, the host of the podcast Verdict with Ted Cruz, was working on ad revenue share agreement, requiring a whole lot of financial disclosures and income reporting that neither Cruz nor the distributor completed.

“Because the media doesn’t report on news, and I do the podcast to talk to the people of Texas about the issues that matter,” Cruz condescendingly told a reporter asking about his no-pay contract with a major campaign donor.

Disney CEO Bob Iger put down an attempt to overthrow the executive team at the entertainment led by a major backer of Republican Florida Governor and failed presidential aspirant Ron DeSantis, maintaining control of the company.

At a shareholder meeting on Wednesday, Iger announced that a recent agreement with DeSantis’s administration regarding the administration of Disney property in Florida is a “win-win” for the state and the company.  The agreement, per the Orlando Sentinel, reverts the management of the area to a 2020 comprehensive plan –from before DeSantis’s culture war stunt–but provides that the new Central Florida Tourism Oversight District puppet board will “consult with Disney” on anything it does.

DeSantis ally Nelson Peltz, meanwhile, attempted to unseat Iger, having said that Disney lost its way and wanting to return the company to focus on dominance at theaters with family-friendly entertainment.  His attempt to take over the board and oust Iger received support of just 31% of shareholders.

Well first the actual news that led to the discovery of this fuckup: Fat former President Trump’s turnout in Tuesday’s uncontested Republican primaries continued to lag that of his uncontested primaries in 2020, showing a drop in the “enthusiasm” for him touted back then.

That’s the trend I identified in Saturday’s lengthy piece titled “Not better off than he was four years ago.” As I was wrapping it up when I was tired, distracted, and nearly passed out in the shower less than an hour later due to I still don’t know what the hell happened but I got really sick and it fucking sucked, especially on Easter. The point is that the bottom line I stated in that article was wildly off: The circa nine million vote/69 percent deficit from 2020 was, as of Saturday, actually just over a million and 8.94 percent. Don’t know what the fuck I did wrong, but I think it was a stray click in the 2024 column’s sum formula on my spreadsheet. Just a visual review would’ve caught that.

Irrespective of my dumbassery that nearly 9 percent drop overall as of Saturday, which increases to 9.7 percent as of Wednesday, and stands at 17.11 percent since Nikki Haley dropped out on March 6th is just… It’s really not a good sign for the fat fuck when we were told in 2020 that he was absolutely unstoppable because he got so many of his fans to show up for him in uncontested primaries. It got even worse this week in the three states that had primaries on Tuesday (well it was four, but the New York GOP canceled their primary in 2020 so we kind of can’t run a comparison).

“This Court finds that Defendant had myriad opportunities to raise the claim of presidential immunity well before March 7, 2024. Defendant could have done so in his omnibus motions on September 29, 2023, which were filed a mere six days before he briefed the same issue in his Federal Insurrection Matter and several months after he brought his motion for removal to federal court on May 4, 2023.”

“Further, the Defendant could have expanded his argument on this topic in his motions in limine or in his opposition to the People’s motions in limine but he did not. Lastly, having addressed the issue of timeliness and turning to Defendant’s motion for preclusion of the People’s evidence of the alleged ‘pressure campaign,’ the Court reminds Defendant that it already ruled on this issue in its Decision and Order on Defendant’s Motions in Limine at pgs 7-8. Defendant’s motion is DENIED in its entirety as untimely. The Court declines to consider whether the doctrine of presidential immunity precludes the introduction of evidence of purported official presidential acts in a criminal proceeding,” wrote Judge Juan Merchan as he handed another L to fat former President Trump on Wednesday.

Preparing for a future where activities on the Moon need to be coordinated across its surface and with people on Earth, the White House has directed NASA to create a time standard for the Moon and other celestial bodies, Reuters reports, as the US works to set the standards to be adopted internationally.

Designated “Coordinated Lunar Time” and abbreviated as “LTC,” the standard is needed because the time moves faster on the Moon than it does on Earth, with the two bodies differing by an average of 58.7 microseconds per day.  Over days (on Earth), that difference could cause problems for equipment that is supposed to synchronize between the two bodies in space, as well as with finely-tuned instruments and machines that would run autonomously on future missions.