Lauren Boebert files for divorce after 18 years of marriage | Just The News https://t.co/GStWr8L2z9

— John Solomon (@jsolomonReports) May 17, 2023

Israeli Foreign Minister Eli Cohen thinks his own ministry is too woke for calling out the blatant antisemitism of tweets by Elon Musk which said “Soros reminds me of Magneto” and that the billionaire philanthropist “wants to destroy humanity,” Haaretz reports

“Oscar Mayer ushers in a new era for its beloved Wienermobile, changing the vehicle’s name for the first time since it first hit the road in 1936. The newly coined ‘Frankmobile’ pays homage to the brand’s 100% Beef Franks as it debuts a tasty new recipe with a more balanced flavor profile and iconic beefy taste that is more flavorful than ever – all while sparking miles of smiles and uniting fans around a love of meat,” says Oscar Meyer in a Wednesday press release.

“The debut of the new Frankmobile comes as Oscar Mayer continues to bring its signature brand platform, ‘Keep It Oscar,’ to delicious new heights. From Frank-themed whistles to comical ‘please do not lick’ decals, Oscar Mayer designed every detail of the Frankmobile to encourage people from takings things too seriously,” the press release continues, as if this isn’t definitely fucking about people snickering over the word “Wiener” and the “do not lick” decals. Total baloney, just like the time they tried to change how the word is spelled. Well, the second time, since “bologna” is stupid.

“The Committee on the Judiciary and its Select Subcommittee on the Weaponization of the Federal Government and the Permanent Select Committee on Intelligence are conducting oversight of the October 19, 2020, ‘Public Statement on the Hunter Biden Emails’ signed by 51 former intelligence community officials. On March 21, 2023, we wrote to you requesting documents in the Central Intelligence Agency’s (CIA) custody relating to this statement about Hunter Biden.'”

“This statement, signed by former intelligence community officials using their official titles and emphasizing their national security credentials, suggested that public reporting about Hunter Biden’s business dealings and Biden family influence-peddling ‘ha[d] all the hallmarks of a Russian information operation.’ We have since learned that the statement was drafted and disseminated following communications between former Acting CIA Director Michael Morell and Biden campaign advisor now Secretary of State-Antony Blinken. The CIA has documents responsive to our requests and necessary to our oversight… The Committees have received evidence that the CIA, or at least an employee of the CIA, may have helped to solicit signatories for the statement about Hunter Biden,” writes spandex-wearing grapple freak Jim Jordan in a letter to CIA Director William Burns.

So for those keeping score at home – and this is easy to lose sight of: Jordan and his butthole friends aren’t trying to prove the Hunter Biden laptop is 100 percent real. They’re not trying to convince the American public to believe that. They’re not trying to prove it was not Russian disinformation mixed in with real personal documents and correspondence. They’re not even really investigating the laptop itself. Just if some government resources were used to get 51 former US intel officials to sign the letter saying it looked like Russian disinfo. You really have to step back and appreciate both how fucking pathetic it is and how far it removed it is from the actual “laptop from hell” which itself is supposed to be absolutely devastating proof of Joe Biden’s corruption.

https://youtu.be/j8v0g3u-o_s

One of the great shames of the American federal justice system is that, unlike most state-level courts, there are no television cameras allowed in courtrooms, which deprived citizens of a real-time window into the post-2020 election failures as they happened during proceedings like the time a US circuit judge in Pennsylvania had to instruct Rudy Giuliani on the basics of constitutional law. But instead of lamenting what could have been, let’s enjoy what is, as the “legitimate governor of Arizona” Kari Lake’s legal team makes her case once again six months after she lost.

Mega-publisher Penguin-Random House on Wednesday filed a lawsuit against the Escambia County, Florida School District and its board alleging First Amendment violations in their MAGA-brained decision to remove 10 books Penguin-Random House from school libraries, NBC 6 Miami reports.

“Books have the capacity to change lives for the better, and students in particular deserve equitable access to a wide range of perspectives. Censorship, in the form of book bans like those enacted by Escambia County, are a direct threat to democracy and our Constitutional rights,” said Penguin-Random House CEO Nihar Malaviya in a statement about the lawsuit. Among the other removed books were “The Bluest Eye” by Toni Morrison, “The Nowhere Girls” by Amy Reed and “Lucky” by Alice Sebold, all of them “racially divisive” or “pornographic” or whatever bullshit thoughtcrime against right wing Karens obsessed with destroying the American public education system.

The plan to install a Republican to lead the board of elections in deep blue Fulton County, Georgia has been derailed as the Atlanta Journal Constitution’s Greg Bluestein reports former County Commission Chair Lee Morris has withdrawn his name from the nomination, adding that the new chair nominee is former county attorney Patrise Perkins-Hooker, who we’re going to guess is a Dem.

It’s not clear why exactly Democrat Fulton Commission Chairman Robb Pitts had picked Morris to lead the board – and flip the current 3-2 Dem majority to a Republican majority, putting control of important decisions like whether to allow Saturday voting in filthy MAGA hands – but it could have been an attempt to sue for peace against the State Elections Board’s still-ongoing post-2020 election move to take over the County Board. A recent performance review conducted by an independent panel recommended against a takeover, but the MAGA scumbags have not dropped their crusade to avenge GOP losses in November 2020 and in the January 2021 senate runoffs.

Late last year then-incoming MAGA House Majority leader Steve Scalise sent out a “Dear colleague” letter outlining a number of legislative priorities, among them a resolution “Expressing support for the Nation’s law enforcement agencies and condemning any efforts to defund or dismantle law enforcement agencies” all of it pretty anodyne, bipartisan-friendly stuff that would almost certainly have met unanimous approval when teed up as planned during this week’s “Police Week 2023.”

That is until some changes were made earlier this month. The new version of H Con Res 40 specifically prefixes “local” to every single mention of “law enforcement,” and according to Punchbowl News, Republicans have blocked every attempt by Dems to change the language to include federal law enforcement. The update was made on May 5th, ten days before the Durham Report’s release, so it’s not even like MAGA hatred of the FBI was particularly spiking at the time.

In addition to emphasizing support for local law enforcement only, the new version is overall much more politically charged with its “Whereas leftist activists and progressive politicians called for the defunding and dismantling of local police departments across the country and actively encouraged resentment toward local law enforcement,” type grievance-mongering bullshit. Hilariously on-brand for Republicans however, it also mentions that “in 2020, the United States tallied more than 21,000 murders-the highest total since 1995 and 4,900 more than in 2019,” not-so-subtly indicating they’re once again forgetting just exactly who was the president in the year 2020. The dumbest fucking part of this story is that it’s just a resolution, it doesn’t actually do anything in terms of federal funding for law enforcement or make changes to their codes of professional conduct or anything like that. It’s a “controversy” over signing onto a symbolic gesture of support for police.

It’s not clear if fat former President Trump is freaking the fuck out over the news that one of his top lawyers is quitting the defense team or if this is just a regular meltdown over the ongoing criminal investigations into him simply because he was in the mood. It used to be easier to tell when these sort of vaguely-premised meltdowns were a direct reaction to bad news. Now we’re left guessing as to how bad Tim Parlatore’s departure is for him, even if the timing of this post lines up neatly with it.

Trump lawyer Timothy Parlatore, who you might call one of the generals in the twice-impeached orange loser’s vast army of defense attorneys, is leaving the team, CNN reports.

It’s not clear why Parlatore is quitting, but CNN speculates it’s likely related to his December 2022 testimony to the grand jury investigating Donald’s theft of classified documents when he left the White House following his humiliating defeat to Joe Biden in the 2020 election.

Just last month Parlatore signed a letter to House Republicans begging them to find a way to shut down the investigation which, if recent history of Trump’s New York lawyer Joe Tacopina making a similar move is any guide, might suggest that an indictment is very much imminent.

House Budget Committee Minority Leader Brendan Boyle tells the Wall Street Journal that on Wednesday he’ll start collecting signatures for a discharge petition to raise the debt ceiling as a workaround to escape the bullshit Republican demands for spending cuts in order to raise it.

“We only have two weeks to go until we may hit the x-date,” said Boyle, referring to possible default on America’s debts. “We must raise the debt ceiling now and avoid economic catastrophe.”

A new Senate Republican-led report on the origins of COVID-19 released Wednesday contains new circumstantial evidence, but still no proof, that the virus spread as a result of a leak from the Wuhan Institute of Virology rather than the Huanan Seafood Wholesale Market, CNN reports.

Describing evidence that ChiCom officials knew of some sort of biocontainment failure at the Wuhan lab “approximately during the same period of time in which the available epidemiological evidence indicates that SARS-CoV-2 was introduced to the human population in Wuhan” which “suggests that the most senior leadership of the CCP (Chinese Communist Party) likely had at least limited knowledge of this laboratory incident by no later than the middle of November 2019,” the report seems designed to politically vindicate the right wing’s desire to make the catastrophe wholly the responsibility of the ChiCom regime – who absolutely have an interest in making the pandemic appear as if it were an act of God rather than a product of their corruption and/or incompetence.

That doesn’t mean it’s wrong, and no matter how much scientists who are otherwise extremely qualified will publicly credit possibly fabricated evidence that the virus came from a raccoon dog being sold as meat at the market, it’s still pretty fucking hard to get around that COVID just so happened to spread from a city in which there’s a goddamned laboratory that studies viruses.

A French appeals court on Wednesday rejected former President Nicolas Sarkozy’s bid to get out of his one year sentence for corruption and influence peddling, the Associated Press reports.

Democrats have kept control of the Pennsylvania state house by the slimmest of majorities–one vote–after Heather Boyd won a special election for the 163 District in Delaware County to fill a vacant seat in a strong “blue” area, the Associated Press reports.  A Republican won a different special election in a deep red district in the central part of the state to keep the majority at the razor’s edge.  In other election news:

• In something of an upset, Democrat Donna Deegan was elected the ninth mayor of Jacksonville, Florida, typically a conservative stronghold, becoming the first woman to lead the city.  Jacksonville has only had a Democratic mayor for one four-year term since 1993:  in 2010, at the height of the Tea Party movement, Alvin Brown won a narrow victory, less than a percentage point.  Deegan won by four percentage points.
• Though Trump-endorsed Daniel Cameron won the GOP nomination for North Carolina governor, another MAGAt lost in Kentucky:  Mike Lindell-endorsed Stephen Kipper lost the GOP primary for Secretary of State.
• Read More ▶ “Election news: Democrats hold on to Pennsylvania state house”

“This reminds me of the whitewash the M&M went through when apparently having high heels or wearing high heels was no longer acceptable, right, and she was put, sneakers were put on her,” fill-in host who has no shot at getting the show full-time Emily Compagno asserts, sure to bring up the Mars candy in its traditional time slot.  “So to me, it removes that control and that agency of these women to say, actually, I love wearing he-, high heels. I love being sexy.  I love finding myself feminine but….”

For people who get their collective panties in a wad about “properly gendering” things, conservatives are quick to assign a gender to a piece of candy and then whine about what that now-gendered piece of candy wears on its–pardon me:  her–non-existent feet.

The Republican-dominated North Carolina General Assembly overrode Democratic Governor Roy Cooper’s veto of a post-12-week abortion ban thanks to its supermajority, putting the law in place thanks to a turncoat former Democrat, per CNN.

Tricia Cotham, a long-time Democrat who announced in April that she changed Parties, was the deciding vote in the state house that gave Republicans the required three-fifths supermajority to override the veto.  Cotham ran and won reelection on a strong pro-choice stance, even sharing details of her own abortion.  Cotham, however, changed her vote when she changed Parties, reportedly because she was promised the chair of the state house’s education committee.

In a very interesting detail spotted by New York Times legal reporter Sean Keenan, a prosecutor with Fulton County, Georgia DA Fani Willis’s office asked a judge to delay incel terrorist Robert Aaron Long’s sentencing in the 2021 Atlanta massage parlor killing spree until later this year because of “a concern about security in the courthouse during the months of August and September.”

Which sure sounds like they’re planning to indict fat former President Trump during that period. It’s not the first sign of it we’ve seen, given Willis having already put law enforcement on notice that the decision will come between July 11 and September 1st, but this one just sort of feels a little weightier given that she’s actively trying to shuffle other cases around, even high profile ones.

Fat former President Trump on Tuesday told some Newsmax dipshit he was the one who ended Roe v Wade which, unlike a lot of shit the fat bastard says, is actually technically true as even though he didn’t personally overturn it he may as well have via his Supreme Court nominations.

We were to understand that the new “more disciplined”-ish Trump was going to run away from abortion issues whenever and however he could since he himself just last year was reportedly worried about it hurting his chances in 2024 and correctly (in part) blamed it for the GOP’s weak 2022. So we’ve got no problem with him owning that “accomplishment” as much as he wants to.

Endorsed by Donald Trump, Daniel Cameron, the first African-American Attorney General in Kentucky history, won the GOP nomination to be the state’s governor in one of a number of elections oddly scheduled for the middle of May.  The New York Times reports Cameron beat the three-contender field, with the Ron DeSantis-back Kelly Craft currently sits in third place with 61% of precincts reporting.  Cameron will face incumbent Democrat Andy Beshear in November.

“If you’re MAGA and your neighbors don’t agree with you, get new neighbors,” elitist shirt hoarder Steve Bannon orders, apparently unaware that people who don’t hang out with criminal Chinese billionaires can’t just up and move at will.  “Whaddaya mean?  You’re gonna have a barbeque and ya got, let me hear about puttin’ little boys in dresses.  Let me hear about groomin’ the kids.  Let me hear about the invasion at the southern border.  Let me hear about destroying the US dollar.  Hey, how ’bout this.  Here’s what ya do.  Say, ‘Hey, suck on this.  I’m MAGA and you’re not and we’re winning.'”

Bannon’s the guy who always wants an argument at the neighborhood picnic.  He’s the guy whose lawn all the dogs crap on.  He gives out oranges on Halloween.  In other words, he’s a crappy neighbor.  What Bannon thinks MAGA won–besides a pardon for himself after scamming people out of hundreds of thousands of dollars–isn’t mentioned given MAGA lost two popular votes, a presidential election, control of the House and Senate, and Bannon’s last measure of credibility.