New Jersey Bruce Springsteen and the E Street band cover act “No Surrender” on Thursday told NJ.com their gig at Riv’s in Toms River set for next Friday was canceled after the owner decided to punish them for the Garden State legend’s recent and increasingly heated anti-Trump crusade.

Riv’s owner began apprehensively texting frontman Brad Hobicorn after Springsteen – who’s never been a fan of the convicted felon president – had this month renewed his public disgust with the fat fuck and began attracting Fox News’s attention. Then on Sunday, Rivoli texted Hobicorn to call it off, saying it was “too risky at the moment,” his MAGA clientele. Hobcorn offered to drop the Springsteen set and bill themselves as “Asbury Fever” to play other classic rock hits. But Rivoli said he’d have to pay less than the $2,500 agreed to pay them for a “No Surrender” set.

“Unfortunately it’s just too much money I wanted to do the Springsteen tribute for that money [and] my social media team would have promoted it we would have done well but now because Bruce can’t keep his mouth shut we’re screwed,” Rivoli wrote in a text breaking the news to Hobicorn.

Asked during a Friday afternoon availability in the Oval Office why he singled out Apple iPhones for tariffs and not any other brand, convicted felon President Trump told reporters the levies on Samsung phones “would be more… It would be also Samsung and anybody that makes that product, otherwise it wouldn’t be fair. So anybody that makes that product, and that’ll start on, I guess, the end of June,” Bloomberg reports. Wow, he sure sounds like he knows what he’s doing with all this.

On about his similarly ridiculous and arbitrary announcement of tariffs on European Union exports, the fat bastard was asked “What are you hoping to achieve with a 50 percent tariff on the EU?” to which Trump said “There is no tariff. What they will do is they will send their companies into the US.”

Asked then “Are you looking for a deal in 9 days?” Trump responded with “They don’t go about it right… I just said, it’s time that we play the game the way I know how to play the game.”

https://t.co/x7P2HblLJl

— The White House (@WhiteHouse) May 23, 2025

…which is the inflation that Trump hasn’t brought down despite promising to when he was really running to stay out of prison and make himself richer. Oh and the average price per gallon at $3.19 is seven cents higher than it was on January 20th. So they’re not lower.

OH NO! Billy Joel has a BRAIN DISORDER and can’t perform! Seriously! Billboard reports Billy, a famous musician loved everywhere on Long Island – even those who live in houses that got in the way of his car – has “normal pressure hydrocephalus,” which means there’s spinal fluid leaking into his brain or some horrible shit. So now every Billy Joel concert is canceled until at least July 2026.

Total bummer about the people who wanted to hear him sing about all the events in American history from 1960 through 1990 and then another one about the days when they all used to hang out at the village green, wearing engineer boots, leather jackets, and tight blue jeans and then when you put a nickel in jukebox you hear a song about New Orleans. And then Brenda and Eddie…

Man, what a great story about them. Sheesh. Guess fans will have to just listen on Spotify at home.

Claiming their free speech rights are being violated, a group of anti-5G patriots on Thursday filed a federal civil complaint against Oregon’s state government, alleging that last year’s law banning citizens from sharing any readings non-approved piezoelectric crystals to monitor fluctuations in the cellular data band’s frequencies for anomalies indicating possible directed mind-control signal bursts, empowering state officials to impose fines of up to $1 million for violating the law.

Critics of the statute say it’s worded too vaguely, that only state-approved Lemurian seed crystals attuned to Earth’s grid and Schumann resonance that are far more expensive than the standard Argone gaia shards with a simple copper coil acting as the EMF radiation receivers that most community organizations use as their warning sign of impending danger and to activate their Faraday conduit arrays to absorb the lethal 5G energy being emitted from the World Economic Forum owned-and-operated cell tower network currently installed across the United States.

One patriot, Cindy Robertson, says neighbors have been asking her why she doesn’t fly a red flag warning on heavy 5G infrawave days anymore. “I’d tell them, ’The state says we can’t tell y’all that stuff,'” said Robertson, whose group, Micah 6:8, is among the plaintiffs suing to get the law overturned. “You can’t talk about [5G waves] unless you’re using the equipment that they want you to use,” said David Bookbinder, director of law and policy at the Environmental Integrity Project, which represents the plaintiffs. He added there was no need for community groups to purchase such expensive crystals when cheaper technology could provide “perfectly adequate results… to be able to tell your community, your family, whether or not the air they’re breathing is safe.”

“Talks like” does not mean Congressman Randy Fine’s voice so much as the words he uses. Like if you saw some of this committed to paper you’d be like “Wow, so he said he’s Jewish so I wonder if this guy was in like one of those IDF commando units where they teach you how to rip a dude’s throat out with one hand,” only to see that he looks like he’d lose a fight with a stairmaster.

All those “Arab-Americans for Trump” must love this guy because Trump endorsed him multiple times, even after he said Gaza should be nuked on Thursday. Fine, who obviously thinks he would kick the shit out of a Hamas terrorist in a fistfight, might not love it if he finds out who one of Hamas’s backers are and who they just gave a luxury 747 to. It could be devastating news for him.

Hey, remember xenon? It’s on the periodic table where it goes by “Xe.” Right? Yeah it’s one of those whose symbol is actually an abbreviation of its name and not like “Au” or “K” which you’d never have any idea what the hell elements they stood for if you’ve never seen a periodic table before.

Anyway, the Everest Chronicle reports the element, which keeps a pretty low profile compared to the squeakier Helium and flashier Neon on the inert gases crew, is suddenly so hot among climbers as a performance enhancing gas. It’s also pretty controversial as the unofficial blog of the world’s tallest and deadliest (in absolute values) mountain writes that the use of it for rapid acclimation “has drawn scrutiny from medical experts and mountaineering organizations, who warn of insufficient evidence supporting its safety and efficacy at high altitudes. Despite this, climbers maintain their success so far demonstrates the potential of modern approaches to extreme altitude expeditions.”

The team of four British military vets – Garth Miller, Alastair Carns, Anthony Stazicker, and Kev Godlington – who inhaled a shit ton of xenon to more rapidly acclimate their bodies to higher altitudes – something that takes weeks normally – are probably still on their way up to the summit of Everest given that this article was printed on Wednesday. So either they’ll make it down or not.

Ever. Their bodies will be up there, frozen, forever if the xenon thing backfires on them.

From remarks by South African Minister of Police Senzo Mchunu in a Friday presentation of quarterly crime statistics in the country: “In the last few days, we have seen conversations and concerns about crime in SA taking a totally different turn, the term ‘genocide’ got forcefully introduced to the scene, in a distinctly foreign and strange manner. It is claimed that there is ‘white genocide’ in South Africa and as evidence, a lot of material has been put into circulation, including in the White House, in the USA. These materials include pictures of crosses along a particular road, to name a few.”

“We have respect for the USA as a country, we have respect for the people in that country and for President Trump, but we have no respect for this genocide story – at all. It is totally unfounded and unsubstantiated. We have noted doubt expressed by media houses in the USA, UK and in South Africa, and we welcome it. South Africa is a full democratic state, with a lot of NGOs, NPOs and free media – they would have run headlines both locally and abroad if there was any genocide.”

“In the fourth quarter, six attacks on rural communities were recorded as follows: Farm owners 2, Farm dwellers 1, Farm employees 2, Farm manager 5” (this statement was apparently released before Mchunu actually spoke so it’s unlikely he actually read it off exactly like that).

Non-commands of the facts and an extreme shallowness of knowledge were the order of the day for this one-two-punch of Treasury Suckretary Scott Bessent and Republican Congressman French Hill’s Friday morning bits on Fox News and CNBC. Stick around for the end where Hill bitches about how the $TRUMP shitcoin corruption circlejerk is making his job working for crypto donors harder.

Months of careful negotiations to get Dems on board with the GENIUS Act crypto bill – which needs 60 votes to pass – may be about to go to waste and rightfully so as NOTUS reports that Senator Chris Murphy on Thursday said he will force an amendment to the bill prohibiting presidents or any other public official from profiting off a “stablecoin” while in office. Which is definitely going to be one hell of a way to box the MAGA party in on legislation they say is good for all Americans.

Global caffeine slop purveyor Starbucks this week announced that customers in South Korea cannot use the names Lee Jae-myung, Kim Moon-soo, Lee Jun-seok, Kwon Young-kook, Hwang Kyo-ahn, or Song Jin-ho for their drink orders because baristas are sick of having to shill for the presidential candidates when calling the customers to get their mocha-frappa-fuck-a-lino, NBC News reports.

“Honestly, setting a nickname like that doesn’t seem like an easy or effective way to make a political statement,” customer Hyunwoo Park, 25, said when asked about the new policy. Young-Eh Choi, 60, was pissed. “It’s just a nickname — I think people should have the freedom to choose their own. It’s my right, so restricting it feels like too much,” said Choi, his free speech infringed upon by Starbucks.

It does not appear from the article that Yoon Suk Yeol, the recently-deposed now-former president potentially facing the death penalty for insurrection after a failed attempt to impose martial law after getting pilled on right wing conspiracy shit from YouTube, was among the names banned. Probably not that many people using it. Yoon’s successor candidate, Kim Moon-soo will face Democratic Party candidate Lee Jae-myung – who narrowly lost to Yoon in 2022 – in a special presidential election on June 3rd. Lee’s got a solid-ish lead but Kim’s closing the gap and is working on one of the four scrub candidates to get him to pull an RFK Jr and help consolidate a coalition.

Reuters puts together a sob story video inviting us to think of how things will change for longshoremen if we rebuild American manufacturing and stop importing so much cheap crap from China pic.twitter.com/rytXn1ZQ2u

— Breitbart News (@BreitbartNews) May 23, 2025

Harvard University on Friday filed a federal civil complaint against the Trump Reich, accusing them of violating the college’s First Amendment in the abrupt Thursday announcement that dog murderer Kristi Noem’s Department of Homeland Security had abruptly yanked Harvard’s ability to admit new foreign students as well as forcing current ones to transfer, the New York Times reports.

“We condemn this unlawful and unwarranted action,” wrote Harvard President Dr Garber a letter to Harvard’s community announcing the lawsuit. “It imperils the futures of thousands of students and scholars across Harvard and serves as a warning to countless others at colleges and universities throughout the country who come to America to pursue their education and fulfill their dreams.”

Helps to have a big time law school on campus when you need to bang out a 72-page federal civil complaint against the government of the United States of America in less than 19 hours.

“US District Judge William F Jung today sentenced William Robert Braddock, III (41, St Petersburg) to three years in federal prison for interstate transmission of threat to injure. Braddock pled guilty on February 3, 2025. According to court documents and evidence discussed in open court, in 2021 Braddock and Victim-1 were candidates in the primary election to represent the 13th Congressional District of Florida in the United States House of Representatives. Braddock viewed Victim-1, the Republican party frontrunner, as his only obstacle to winning that race. For months, Braddock disparaged Victim-1 with her peers and attempted to inject himself into her life.”

“During a June 2021 telephone call with Victim-2, a private citizen and acquaintance of Victim-1, Braddock threatened to have Victim-1 murdered if she continued to poll well in the race for the 13th District. Specifically, Braddock threatened, in part, to ‘call up my Russian-Ukrainian hit squad’ and make Victim-1 ‘disappear.’ Braddock further stated, ‘I will be the next congressman for this District, period. End of discussion. Anybody going up against me is fucking ignorant for doing so. [Victim-1]’s ignorant so I don’t have a problem taking her out, but I’m not going to do that dirty work myself obviously.’ In November 2021, Braddock flew to Thailand on a one-way ticket, and ultimately settled in the area of Santa Rosa, Laguna, Philippines. He remained in the Philippines until self-surrendering to authorities in Manila in June 2023. Braddock remained in foreign custody until being transported to the United States in September 2024,” says a Thursday Justice Department press release.

What it doesn’t say is that “Victim-1” was batshit maniac now-Congresswoman Anna Paulina Luna.

Shares of iconic forbidden fruit-themed tech company Apple dropped over 2 percent in premarket trading Friday morning after a world-renowned business guru posted “I have long ago informed Tim Cook of Apple that I expect their iPhone’s [sic] that will be sold in the United States of America will be manufactured and built in the US, not India, or anyplace else. If that is not the case, a Tariff of at least 25 percent must be paid by Apple to the US. Thank your for your attention to this matter!”

More seriously this is fucking hilarious because four days ago the Wall Street Journal reported that Apple saw how Walmart and Mattel had incurred the fat bastard’s wrath and wanted to price them in to this year’s new iPhone lineup by pretending that some unspecified new features had justified the increased cost. They were going to that kind of length to maintain profitability while not pissing Trump off. Then this morning he spares them that work and straight up tells Americans that their iPhones are going to cost 25 percent more – AFTER losing his shit at Amazon, Walmart, and Mattel for trying to be more open with consumers about who to blame. Awesome 5D checkmate, Donald.

The fat fuck kept the rampage going with “The European Union, which was formed for the primary purpose of taking advantage of the United States on TRADE, has been very difficult to deal with.”

“Their powerful Trade Barriers, Vat Taxes, ridiculous Corporate Penalties, Non-Monetary Trade Barriers, Monetary Manipulations, unfair and unjustified lawsuits against Americans Companies, and more, have led to a Trade Deficit with the US of more than $250,000,000 a year, a number which is totally unacceptable. Our discussions with them are going nowhere! Therefore, I am recommending a straight 50 percent Tariff on the European Union, starting on June 1, 2025. There is no Tariff if the product is built or manufactured in the United States. Thank you for your attention to this matter!”

“Our negotiated deal with the United Kingdom is working out well for all. I strongly recommend to them, however, that in order to get their Energy Costs down, they stop with the costly and unsightly windmills, and incentivize modernized drilling in the North Sea, where large amounts of oil lay waiting to be taken. A century of drilling left, with Aberdeen as the hub. The old fashioned tax system disincentivizes drilling, rather than the opposite. UK’s Energy Costs would go WAY DOWN, and fast!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Friday, seemingly implying that the removal of windmills may come up as a condition of trade negotiations. Also likely again stupidly believing the UK’s “windfall taxes” imposed on oil extractors has something to do with wind turbines.

“Travelers make choices: where and when to travel, when to book, and how long to stay and importantly, perceptions of the US matter. Sentiment-headwinds are negatively impacting inbound travel in our latest inbound forecast update (May 12 interim update), we maintain our expectations of a 8.7 percent decline in US international arrivals for the year overall (compared to a 9.4 percent decline in our prior forecast released March 27). Factors contributing to sentiment: Headwinds include Trump administration posturing and policy announcements, such as ‘Liberation Day’ tariffs across long-standing trade partners, as well as media coverage focusing on border security incidents and national travel advisories. We continue to expect the largest declines in visitation from Canada (-20.2 percent) and Western Europe (-5.8 percent). We forecast international visitor spending to fall $8.5 billion (-4.7 percent) relative to last year (compared to a 5.0 percent decline in our prior forecast),” says data firm Tourism Economics in a forecast released Friday.

Florida woman charged after allegedly attacking 72-year-old Trump supporter wearing MAGA hat https://t.co/KZHqeIjOFJ

— Fox News (@FoxNews) May 23, 2025

The MAGA crypto chodes who spent roughly at least $1.8 million on $TRUMP shitcoins were kind of disappointed with how Thursday night’s big event – billed as a “Gala Dinner” – turned out, with one telling NBC News the fat fuck “helicoptered in, he helicoptered out. We didn’t really get to shake hands with him or anything,” and another tweeting in Japanese that “After giving a speech of just under 30 minutes, President Trump danced as he left the room… The initial explanation said that we would go around and take commemorative photos at each table, but for some reason that was no longer the case. That’s a bit disappointing.” Kind of a running theme with Trump fans these days.

In what might be a “break glass in case of emergency” moment, “RINO” Texas Senator John Cornhole Cornyn has hired former Trump campaign manager Chris LaCivita to help him defeat Picasso-faced Attorney General Ken Paxton in what will be a hard-fought primary, Axios reports.