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Lazy quitter helps pre-set “Dems allowed Iranian terrorism” script

First off, if Tehran really had “sleeper cells” in the US one would think that they would’ve already tried to avenge the Ayatollah’s death and every day that goes by since then seems to foreclose the possibility that they’re going to sacrifice themselves in a suicide bombing in a crowded mall or whatever. Setting aside that obviously deranged Senegalese asshole shooting up the bar in Austin killing three people – a horrible crime that hasn’t even definitely connected to the war – there hasn’t even been any “lone wolf” attacks by say some hard-line American Shi’ites loyal to the regime.

Then, as already noted here, unlike last year ICE hasn’t been parading a wave of arrests of Iranian immigrants whose petty bullshit crimes – if they even committed any – had nothing to do with terrorism or Tehran’s regime. Put it all together and it would seem that, per usual, the Fox chyron screaming “THREAT OF IRANIAN SLEEPER CELLS IN US HOMELAND” is just the usual fear porn.

But hey why not set the narrative of pre-blaming Dems for refusing to fund DHS just in case something happens? The fact that K$H Patel fired the FBI agents in charge of monitoring Iranian threats leaves a weak spot, as does that the shutdown doesn’t affect ICE, who are supposed to be tracking them down as well, is potential weak spot so the GOP might as well go on offense. It’s not like there’s any political cost to telling their voters to be afraid of foreign Muslims with funny names.

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US embassy in Israel announces you’re on your own

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Fatal Iranian strike on six US troops happened in Kuwait

After two days of scant details on how, where, and who were the six US service members confirmed killed in action so far during convicted felon President Trump’s directionless war on Iran happened, CNN finally have ascertained some specifics from sources inside the Department of Defense: The lethal strike was from a low-flying Iranian drone that penetrated both defenses and early warning systems and hit a triple-wide trailer in Shuaiba Port, Kuwait being used as an operations center for a Fort Knox, Kentucky-based US Army unit called the 1st Theater Sustainment Command.

The strike had occurred at 9 AM local time on Sunday, less than 24 hours after the first payloads were dropped on Iran. The names of the soldiers killed in the attack have yet to be made public as their next of kin are still being notified. It’s not clear if their remains have been repatriated yet.

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Released Capitol rioter charged with threatening DC cop

White supremacist January 6 MAGA terrorist Jake Lang, who was in the DC lockup facing trial multiple felonies, including assaulting police with a baseball bat, civil disorder, and other counts from the 2021 insurrection when convicted felon President Trump pardoned and thus released him on January 20, 2025, has been arrested again in DC, this time for misdemeanor threats against one of the Metro Police officers during a confrontation outside of the US Capitol, NBC News reports.

Lang, 30, was caught on camera this year at an event commemorating the fifth anniversary of the insurrection screaming to Metropolitan Police Commander Jason Bagshaw that he should be “put down like a dead dog” and “hung” in front of the Capitol. “Public execution is the only solution for animals like you,” Lang said to Bagshaw, adding the cop should be dragged “out by his ankles” and thrown “in the Potomac.” Lang has pleaded not guilty to the charges and is due in court on the 24th.

It’s not even the first legal trouble that Lang, who is running for US Senate in Florida, has faced this year. The MAGA Neo-Nazi was arrested in Minneapolis on January 17th after he partially kicked down an ice sculpture at the state capital in St Paul that said “PROSECUTE ICE” to make it say “PRO ICE,” during an anti-immigration counter-demonstration in support of the Trump Reich.

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DoorDash guy testifies he delivered Plan B to Louisiana mayor Misty Clanton hours after she did stuff with son’s 16 year-old friend

Yeah. The “Clanton” really ties it up nicely, right? However, as is often found in certain, often smaller, jurisdictions where a particular office is “technically” non-partisan it seems that the now-former mayor of DeRidder, Louisiana took that extra seriously and not only ran as an independent on a non-ideological, just solve problems platform, she even personally registered to vote as unaffiliated.

She’s also not-so-technically no longer a Clanton either, since her husband Duncan Clanton, who is in fact a registered Republican, divorced her at some point since July 20, 2024. Why?

Well, you already got a lot from the headline but damn People Magazine did a solid job with their aggregated summary sourced from local news that the unnamed DoorDash guy testified last week that he delivered the emergency contraceptive to the now-Misty Roberts’s home following the night in question. It’s after that pretty darkly comedic element that each of the stories further upstream from People mag get actually legitimately heartbreaking as Roberts faces jurors on charges of carnal knowledge of a juvenile and indecent behavior with a juvenile. It’s her kids – and apparently a nephew – that have gone through hell on this being pushed into testifying against her.

Sorry to end on a downer, it’s just not always that the balance of tragedy and comedy tips toward the former on closer examination. This is one of those times as the hell this maniac inflicted on her kids and husband (the then-16 year-old victim himself is scarcely mentioned in the coverage) is halting and legitimately difficult to reprint here even if technically not all that gruesome or vulgar.

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Minneapolis prosecutor launches investigation into regime

“Hennepin County Attorney Mary Moriarty announced the office has created the Transparency and Accountability Project (TAP) in the wake of Operation Metro Surge. TAP’s purpose is to collect and assess evidence submitted by the public of potentially unlawful behavior by federal agents. It is staffed by HCAO prosecutors and an HCAO civilian investigator. A new portal for community members to share photos, videos, and descriptions of any incidents that may involve unlawful conduct by federal agents has been created to support TAP. The previous portal for evidence in the Renee Good and Alex Pretti shootings has served its purpose and been closed.”

“‘Our TAP team is actively investigating 17 incidents that have been brought to our attention by the community, including Gregory Kent Bovino’s actions near Mueller Park on January 21,’ Hennepin County Attorney Mary Moriarty said. ‘We will investigate and pursue charging where appropriate, and we’ll seek collaboration with local law enforcement wherever and whenever needed.’ Investigation and prosecution of federal agents present significant challenges and the HCAO must be prepared to litigate those challenges prior to filing charges. This will lead to a longer charging timeline than is typical for this office. ‘Make no mistake, we are not afraid of any legal fight,’ Moriarty continued. ‘But we will do this ethically, responsibly, and vigorously. TAP is fundamental to our efforts to ensure the transparency and accountability that our community deserves. This is just the beginning,'” says the Hennepin County Attorney’s office in a press release.

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Trump’s counterfactual-based argument needs a little work

“The Radical Left Democrats, a Party that has completely lost its way, are complaining bitterly about the very necessary and important attack, by the United States and Israel, on Iran. What most people understand is that they are only complaining BECAUSE I DID IT and, if I didn’t do it, they would be screaming – Why didn’t ‘TRUMP’ attack Iran, he should do it, IMMEDIATELY? There’s nothing surprising about this! It’s the same people that the other night at The State of the Union Address wouldn’t stand for ANYBODY, including a mother who lost her beautiful daughter to an illegal alien, a Great and Brave Helicopter Pilot, who got the Congressional Medal of Honor, or a 100-year-old Veteran Warrior whose Bravery is Legend! The fact is, whatever I do, they will be on the opposite side. These people are SICK, CRAZY, and DEMENTED, but America, despite them all, is now BIGGER, BETTER, AND STRONGER THAN EVER BEFORE,” posted convicted felon President Trump on Monday, evidently letting the complaining get to him and undermining his purported resolve.

And goddamn he REALLY does not want to go near those six (so far) dead troops, does he?

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Mike Johnson admits Trump subservient to Netanyahu

Addressing reporters after a briefing with Suckretary of State Marco Rubio on Monday, House Speaker Mike Johnson summed up the rationale for going to war with “Israel was determined to act in their defense here, with or without our help… Because Israel was determined to act, with or without the US, our commander in chief had a very difficult decision to make…”

Which means that Trump had no agency, couldn’t have just told “Bibi” to go fuck himself, we’re not helping, and relied on the robust missile defense systems on the Middle East bases to hold up if the Iranians targeted American assets in retaliation for and IDF attack, according to Johnson.

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White House Iran war talking points leaked to Politico

For what appears to be the first time in over five total years of misrule by convicted felon President Trump has either a member of Congress or one of their staff apparently deliberately leaked to the media a talking points memo composed by the White House – that time in 2019 when it was the company lines on the first impeachment some dumbass staffer had accidentally included Democrats on the email list. Someone’s obviously trying to undermine Team Orange from within the party and can’t blame them considering the shit they’ve been handed, like this canned response to “What do you say to Americans who say this is not worth the American casualties?” or similar:

“The Iranian Regime would kill any American if given the chance. These are vicious and radical terrorists who hate our country and our very way of life. Thousands of Americans have been killed by Iran over the years – President Trump is ensuring they can no longer pose a direct threat to our people and our country,” which Anna Paulina Luna already got tripped up on Sunday on MS Now.

But the “if given the chance” is, Jesus Christ, you could say the same thing about North Korea, Belarus, Myanmar, Sudan, arguably Russia and just keep going so it doesn’t mean shit.

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“Everybody watch Sean Hannity tonight at 9 PM”

“Everybody watch Sean Hannity tonight at 9 PM. Bibi Netanyahu will be interviewed! PRESIDENT DONALD J TRUMP” posted the Commander-in-Chief at 3:52 PM on Monday, promoting his favorite Fox News host’s nightly show to all 340+ million people living in the United States of America.

Then seven minutes later US Central Command tweeted “As of 4 pm ET, March 2, six US service members have been killed in action. US forces recently recovered the remains of two previously unaccounted for service members from a facility that was struck during Iran’s initial attacks in the region. Major combat operations continue. The identities of the fallen are being withheld until 24 hours after next of kin notification.” They have yet to similarly hype Sean Hannity’s show.

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Nancy Mace hit with House Ethics investigation

The House Ethics Committee on Monday posted a preliminary report finding that absolute maniac Congresswoman Nancy Mace “may have engaged in improper reimbursement practices under the House reimbursement program by seeking reimbursements that exceeded her reimbursable expenses incurred. If Rep Mace engaged in improper reimbursement practices, then she may have violated House rules, standards of conduct, and federal law. RECOMMENDATION: The Board recommends that the Committee further review the above allegation concerning Rep Mace because there is substantial reason to believe that Rep Mace engaged in improper reimbursement practices.”

The vote was 6 – 0 in favor of further review of the total $3,165.68 that Mace knowingly over-expensed for lodging costs. Knowingly, as the report specifically says “April 2023 emails between Rep Mace and her then-chief of staff, Dan Hanlon, show that Rep Mace was made familiar with the House’s new reimbursement process as well as the form that had to be submitted with requests for reimbursement. That form requires Members to confirm by signature that they ‘incurred the above unreimbursed official travelrelated expenses’ and ‘acknowledge and [are] aware that making false, fictitious, or fraudulent certification may render the maker subject to criminal prosecution…”

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One day, like a miracle – the “redness” will disappear

Evidently commanded to make some shit up for damage control after everyone started asking question about the horrible state of the skin on his neck, White House doctor Sean Barbarella was forced Monday to issue a statement saying “President Trump is using a very common cream on the right side of his neck, which is a preventative skin treatment, prescribed by the White House Doctor.”

“The President is using this treatment for one week, and the redness is expected to last for a few weeks,” Boobarella continued. He did not explain why can’t RFK Jr and/or Joe Rogan just have a look at the “redness.” At least let them try some ivermectin or mercury or laudanum or something on it.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

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