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Enter the Cancel-verse: Six months of insanely stupid grievances and bullshit conspiracies that went nowhere for MAGA Nation

The six months since Biden and Harris’s inauguration have been interesting, to say the least. There’s certainly a lot frustration on the left with what many of us may see as certain things being overpromised and underdelivered by Biden and the Dems. But it pales in comparison to the non-stop freakout the right wing have had on certain cultural issues and conspiracy theories – some based in reality but blown way out of proportion and others just completely fucking made up.

National Zero was there covering these stories as they came to us on the interwebs, and they may not be fully appreciated until they’re collected together in one place. You may vaguely recall Fox News-MAGA freakouts over Mr Potato Head and Doctor Seuss, but what about the John Kerry’s “crimes” or the Great Chick-Fil-A sauce shortage of 2021? The mental bandwidth necessary to stay on top of this bullshit is beyond reach for most humans, but luckily we’re here for a trip down dissociative memory lane. Please note the scope of this retrospective is mostly limited to cultural issues and fabricated controversies adjacent to the larger stories of politics and the still-ongoing Coronavirus pandemic between January 20th and July 20th, 2021 that eventually became dead ends for MAGA World. So just for a quick example we won’t be touching on stories like the fake Arizona audit or Critical Race Theory, as those unfortunately are still live wires in the vast, hateful universe of right wing propaganda media. We’ve also included a handful of center-left cultural outrages to serve as a contrast in volumes and actual gravity of the offenses.

January 2021

Trump melting down over Fauci, regrets not firing him: report

QAnon asshole Greene complains that the media never reported on her nice, Bible-themed Facebook posts, just the bad ones

Fox News personality says Fauci caused coronavirus outbreak in network’s ongoing attempt to undermine his credibility

MyPillow clown rants over ‘Cancel Culture’ destroying his business

February 2021

Former Trump spokesworm says there’s money to be made marketing to MAGA fans marginalized by corporations going ‘woke’

“Cancel Culture” not really that important to most Americans

Ilhan Omar hits back at House GOP losers trying to use her to distract from Marjorie Taylor Greene’s unhinged conspiracy bullshit

Mr. Potato Head sort of canceled by the Woke mob

March 2021

Hyatt condemns CPAC stage design

Jim Jordan demands committee hearings on cancel culture, doesn’t say what he thinks Congress is supposed to do about it

McCarthy says Democrats “outlawed Dr Seuss”

Free market-loving Texas Governor to outlaw social media bans

Burger King overshoots the target on International Women’s Day

Utah Republicans want porn sites blocked on all new devices sold

MAGA judge freaks out, wants Supreme Court to overturn 1964 case protecting media from defamation cases by public officials

Krispy Kreme forcing Anti-Vaxxers to chose donuts over freedom

“Cancel culture” coming for Monopoly’s Mr. Pennybags gifts

Trump rambles to Fox News that Dr Seuss and ‘the woke’ something makes America economically vulnerable to China

QAnon freaks connecting Suez canal clusterfuck to Clintons

MAGA Land still downright riveted by Suez Canal clusterfuck

Gateway Pundit freaks out over Biden line about fate of GOP

Twitter libs view Lindsey Graham’s sexuality as forgone conclusion

April 2021

Some MAGA asshole built a website dedicated solely to tracking the removal of dislikes on Biden White House YouTube videos

Texas Governor Greg Abbott cancels first pitch appearance at Rangers’ home opener because the libs are ruining baseball

Not sure if pic of Fox News chyron needs context, it may actually speak volumes about current state of right wing media on its own

Trump commands his fanbase to boycott Coca-Cola products, does shitty job of hiding Diet Coke bottle behind phone in pic

Rand Paul calls for Republicans to boycott Coca-Cola

Dan Crenshaw cries about the fascism of cancel culture

Black Fox News host cuts off Black guest for talking too much about cops abusing Black folks, too little about ‘rioting and looting’

Jim Jordan’s jock strap stretched to the breaking point with rage at Fauci, Maxine Waters screams at him to calm down and shut up

MAGA Land fake outrage machine circles back to Maxine Waters

Spartan NZ ✓TEAM SOROS™ • 3 months ago
️McCarthy’s right.
Calling themselves the “Anglo-Saxon caucus” isn’t a dog whistle. It’s pretty straight up white nationalism.
Fri, 4/16/2021 5:58 PM on ‘McCarthy: GOP not the party of ‘nativist dog whistles”

Pelosi ignores Republicans’ tears over Maxine Waters

Herr McVerkterleiben • 3 months ago
️Has she given them any material support? Material support for terrorists is a crime.
Tue, 4/20/2021 1:33 PM on ‘Britney Spears voices support for Black Lives Matter’

MAGA World clinging to Maxine Waters like a life raft

The Great Gazoo • 3 months ago
️SHUT UP NBA……..no wonder their playoff ratings were the worst in 40 years.
Tue, 4/20/2021 6:01 PM on ‘NBA praises Chauvin guilty verdict, vows to push for ‘meaningful change”

Orlando Sentinel publishes guest op-ed titled “I love Disney World, but wokeness is ruining the experience” written by this man

Larry Kudlow warns Americans Biden will force them to drink “plant based beer” at their family Fourth of July cookouts

Bar owner refuses to show NBA games until LeBron ‘expelled’

Reward : 6 Gurrilion • 3 months ago
️Boycott Hollywood
Sun, 4/25/2021 9:37 PM on ‘Chloé Zhao becomes first woman of color to win Oscar for directing’

USDA denies Biden trying to limit red meat: ‘This is a fabrication’

MAGA Nation freaking out over John Kerry for some reason

Fox News airs 30 second correction after days and days of falsely reporting Biden’s climate plan aimed to reduce meat consumption


Breitbart bitches about Kamala Harris’s book given to migrant kids, never reported on who bought up Ted Cruz and Don Jr’s books

Surprise! The “copies of Kamala Harris’s book are being handed out to every migrant kid” story is complete overblown horseshit

New York Post deletes Kamala Harris book story

Reporter resigns from NY Post over Harris book story

May 2021

Twitter allows racist slur against Tim Scott to trend for 12 hours, confirming activist bias

Pirro cannot let go of debunked claim that Biden will ban burgers

“They’re just searching for things to be offended by” says Tomi Lahren without a hint of irony about Fox’s new Snow White freakout

Androgynous old hick weighs in on new Snow White “controversy”

Will • 3 months ago
️Get woke go broke. They’ll go out of business in short order.
Mon, 5/3/2021 2:44 PM on ‘Eleven Madison Park to reopen with no meat’

Joe Concha’s insufferable whining reaches new pitch

Star of “Beach Bar: The Movie” asks question at WH Press Briefing

Joni Ernst calls Cheney purge “cancel culture”

Florida racist canceled by Black Dunkin Donuts employee’s fist

Republican Oklahoma Governor’s campaign fundraising off Chick-fil-A sauce shortage, which is Joe Biden’s fault for some reason

Maryland drops anti-Lincoln state anthem, causing members of the ‘Party of Lincoln’ to respond by bitching about ‘cancel culture’

Newest Gateway Pundit “scandal” extra fucking stupid

Newsmax viewers alerted to existence of new homo cereal

Rudy blocks The Contentious Otter on Twitter

Pirro is convinced Fauci knew pandemic was coming in 2017

June 2021

“Cancel Cancel Culture”-branded gear a whole section unto itself at Sarah Huckabee Sanders gubernatorial campaign shop

Rural North Carolina county takes stand against woke cancel culture by canceling Coke machines from government properties

Orange God Emperor freaks out after seeing the words “Fauci” and “emails” in same sentence, not the emails themselves as he claims

Ben Shapiro’s website reports on “chart-topping” white “anti-woke” rapper without actually specifying which chart he topped

Show us on the doll where Wells Fargo woked you

Joint Chiefs Chairman calmly and methodically rips Matt Gaetz and pals’ balls off addressing bullshit “woke military” panic

“Jill Biden Vogue cover sparks calls of media bias” says Fox News chyron on segment of Tomi Lahren making said calls of media bias

Whiny conservative watchdog all but accuses Fauci of ‘election interference’ for October 2020 Washington Post interview answer

Man who was in Star Wars film for about 10 seconds says he hates Disney for going “woke”, quietly dropping “Slave I” spaceship name

July 2021

Marjorie Taylor Greene and Caitlyn Jenner feud on Twitter

USWNT team hit with false claims that members turned away from flag

Life coach has unsolicited advice for younger, more famous fellow Tennesseean woman about the dangers of repressive Marxism

Fox News refuses to acknowledge lies they told about US Women’s National Soccer Team insulting veteran

Tucker has a hissy fit that a reporter is checking his NSA claim

Tucker pissed at Fox News for not buying his NSA ‘spying’ tales

The Future

Happy six months in office to President Joe Biden, Vice President Kamala Harris, Senators Reverend Raphael Warnock, Jon Ossoff, and Alex Padilla. Happy Loser-versary to Trump.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

Watters believe Trump would take up exercise in prison

2 mins ago

Texas mother gives birth to identical quadruplets

31 mins ago

Ingraham questions if Biden will accept ’24 election outcome

1 hour ago

NY AG sues anti-choice group for “abortion pill reversal” claim

2 hours ago

Mike Johnson says intranational tensions have eased

3 hours ago

Not clear if Kristi Noem doing damage control or promoting book

4 hours ago

QAdulteress and Massie still “negotiating” with Mike Johnson

4 hours ago

Israelis reject ceasefire deal, proceed to attack city in Gaza

4 hours ago

Chickenshit says he’ll go to jail anytime, doesn’t violate gag order

5 hours ago

Texas MAGAchurch pastor said sex abuse charges not his “first rodeo,” a conspiracy against his congregation and blah blah blah

5 hours ago

NYT op-ed suggests sentencing Trump to trash pickup duty

6 hours ago

ICC warns MAGA senators over attempts to obstruct justice

6 hours ago

Mike Whatley defends moronic hiring decision he didn’t make

7 hours ago

Hamas accepts ceasefire terms, Israelis say no deal

8 hours ago

Republican former Georgia Lt Gov Geoff Duncan endorses Biden

8 hours ago

Tampa garbage truck driver lauded for finding missing toddler

9 hours ago

🚨 RED SIREN EMOJI ALERT!!! 🚨

9 hours ago

Bernie Sanders running for reelection

10 hours ago

LIVE UPDATES: Trump still on trial in Manhattan, in contempt again

12 hours ago

BREAKING: Columbia cancels graduation ceremony

12 hours ago

There it is

13 hours ago

FEC rules candidates can raise unlimited money for ballot measures

14 hours ago

House GOP seeking to use Cuellar as revenge for Santos

14 hours ago

Fox News reports they’re sure the protestors behind bomb threats

15 hours ago

Orange Pharaoh also thinks Cuellar being framed

22 hours ago

Welcome to Public Service Recognition Week, which the GOP hates

22 hours ago

RFK Jr. yells “conspiracy!” after Meta blocks campaign ad

1 day ago

Lara Trump opposes votes being counted after election day

1 day ago

US withholds ammo shipment to Israel

1 day ago

Noem sort of admits she was full of shit about meeting Kim Jong Un

1 day ago

Zelensky hit with criminal charges, now wanted for arrest

1 day ago

Doug Burgum tries to downplay Trump’s plutocratic batshittery

1 day ago

Biden 49 – Trump 45 among likely voters: ABC News/Ipsos poll

1 day ago

No doubt tranquil is the mind still posting at 3:29 AM

2 days ago

Trump team pushes out RNC lawyer who accepts 2020 election

2 days ago

McDougal post teases Trump case

2 days ago

Minnesota, Virginia targets for Trump campaign in November

2 days ago

The Sith use red lightsabers

2 days ago

MAGA Land getting all hot under the Cuellar

2 days ago

Might be another gag order violation in this new Trump rant

2 days ago

California MAGA terrorist charged with threatening Fani Willis

2 days ago

Musk re-uncancels Neo-Nazi Nick Fuentes

3 days ago

Random thoughts Friday, Volume CLXXI

3 days ago

Hideous Fox hosts laugh about giving Paul Pelosi “a hammer”

3 days ago

Prosecutors seek 12 year sentence for Brent Bozell’s son for his impact during January 6th Capitol attack

3 days ago

Smith notifies Cannon documents may be out of order, literally

3 days ago

Breitbart spin of poll threatens to create its own gravitational field

3 days ago

Tucker believes Alex Jones is some type of prophet

3 days ago

Trial day wrap-up: Hope Hicks gets emotional on stand

3 days ago

Mace claims conservatives’ liberal Zionist boogeyman funding Palestinian groups protesting on college campuses

3 days ago

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